And I said,

"Why me?"

And the Voice said:

"Because you're on television, dummy! You have 40 million Americans listening to you and after the show you could have 50 million. For Pete's sake, I'm not asking you to walk the land in sackcloth and ashes preaching the Armageddon. You're on TV, man."

So I thought about it for a moment, and then I said, "Ok."

Howard Beale "Network" 1976

Just nonstop paternity tests since everyone is claiming to be his child....

If Jesus ever returns they will crucify him again. The religious leaders don't want him to mess up their business.

he would be jerry Springer

If Jesus were alive, the government would be calling him a liberal lefty loon, Fox would be calling him a dangerous extremist democrat, the churches and other religions would be calling him a fake, he would likely be in jail for insurrection and hate speech, feminists would be saying he was the wrong sex and had always been a woman if you read the bible in a certain way, and if it had not been done already some one would be trying to assassinate him.

If he existed at all, you mean.