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I have a question for all of you. I find myself somewhat conflicted about what to do which rarely ever happens. My instinct is to leave it alone and just carry on with my life but also as a professional and an employer I think it might be something I might want to know.
I was dating someone who loved to brag about her status/pay (about 3X what I make and I do OK) and long story short I lent her my truck and she smashed it up to the tune of $5500+. She had no valid drivres license so I didn't even bother to report it because she would definitely have had an issue and insurance I don't think was a viable option in that case anyway. Since that time we cut things off for reasons I won't get into but lets say some feelings were hurt.
Now I have gotten radio silence so I am just going to eat it even though it is a pretty massive expense for me.

I think most of us would agree this is next level crappy human type stuff. However my question is that she is a pretty key employee in a new startup, would you be inclined to let her boss/owner know what type of person I have discovered them to be? I am not really doing it out of spite or pettiness but as an employer myself if I had a key figure in an important position in my startup it might make me think about a replacement before it became an issue for my company.

Thanks all

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  • 3 votes
maxhyde 7 June 25
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8 comments

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1

How a person behaves in a relationship is not always indicative of how they'll behave professionally. Unless her boss starts to date her, your input isn't all that pertinent

While I agree with that for the most part accountability and responsibility for actions isn't something I think you leave at work. In any case I am leaving it alone

1

Now you know the value of your relationship! Now estimate the value of your time going forward.

2

I was going to say to chalk it up to an expensive lesson learned until I saw what kauva replied. I like the small claims court idea even better. She really does owe you for the vehicle.

Deb57 Level 8 June 25, 2018
2

Call your insurance company and report the accident. They will collect from her on your behalf.

Create documentation for your insurance company with the accident:

Date;
Street address, city/state;
Time;
Driver's name, address and phone, employer and work number;
Witness(es) name and phone numbers;
Photos of damage to your truck;.
Who/what she hit with your truck;
Injuries, etc.

Next time, call the police when there is damage to your car. This creates official documentation.

Another option is to take her to small claims court.

2

Unless you're a shareholder in that startup....
Just fix your truck, or hell, that badly damaged... buy a new one. Stay well clear of her work-life.
It might be tough... but! Remain a gentleman and 'manly man'.
NOTE: NEVER loan expensive gear to people who won't cover replacement costs. NEVER let a lady move into your place....
"Typed from experience"
😉

Thanks.
Not tough at all. It was my plan all along until I thought about it more.

@maxhyde
See... you're one of the good ones.
😉

1

Boy,a rock and a hard place! In California,and accident over $500 has to be reported to the DMV,or bad things will happen,yes you could eat the cost,but how would you collect and forget any other romantic involement with her.

Thanks.
Yeah well it wasn't with another driver/car so I am not sure it "must" be reported. Anything you wish to claim on insurance must be reported. She turned too sharply and smashed the side along a steel post in her workplace's garage.

2

are you a friend of her employer? If not I go in the leave it be category. If you bring this up to a stranger who knows how it will get distorted and possibly come back on you

btroje Level 9 June 25, 2018
8

file a case in special small claims and threaten to serve her at work.

HAHAHAHA Better than my intended suggestion of telling her boss. Maybe do both..

Also, a word to the wise..don't lend your truck to love interests who can't legally drive.
Learn to say "NO."

Thanks.
Yeah I am probably not taking it to court. Time/expense and I think it is a he said/she said case assuming the garage camera/video's aren't kept around or are otherwise unavailable to non-law enforcement. If she isn't accountable enough to do it on her own I assume lying in small claims wouldn't be an issue either.

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