This site is outstanding. Distinct lack hyperbole. Lemme update. I quote " but I love him so much I know he'll change". Fuck it, can't fix stupid. By the by. I'm 70 Vietnam era Navy vet. Been to a Worlds Fair, a Picnic and a Rodeo. Ya can't piss down my back and tell me it's raining. Now what are my options. I see myself ending up as the interloper here.

This site is outstanding. Distinct lack hyperbole. Lemme update. I quote " but I love him so much I know he'll change". Fuck it, can't fix stupid. By the by. I'm 70 Vietnam era Navy vet. Been to a Worlds Fair, a Picnic and a Rodeo. Ya can't piss down my back and tell me it's raining. Now what are my options. I see myself ending up as the interloper here.

If she's a whore , then he's the bastard who made her that way . But she's not ! She's a healthy human being , with a normal interest in sex . I never did figure out why men feel it's right for them to have sex , but not for women to have sex . Shame he wasn't adult enough to use a contraceptive nor adult enough to accept responsibility for his actions . I sincerely hope she dumps him . She and her baby both deserve something better , in their lives .

Maggie...any time a child is in danger....IT IS OUR BUSINESS! I'll bet Oregon has a Child Welfare organization and a report to them, with details, will get everyone's attention. PLEASE do this! If that poor child is removed from this home...it's a good thing!

@David1955 Sorry David, I just felt that as you claim to be her friend, you need to attend to this young ladies situation right now, without procrastinating. Would you hesitate if it were your daughter ? Bully boys and women bashers really piss me off, you should inform the police and ensure that this never happens to her again, look after her, as she needs your support right now.!!

Ask the LEO's(Law Enforce Officers) for advice,I can see the abuse transferring to the child soon(if not already) Is the boyfriend the father? The young woman may be terrified to ask for help,but if not,I see a downward spiral.......

Go beat his ass with a pipe wrench or something. Cover your tracks, though.

I agree with you. I don't like when people "don't want to get involved" in an abusive situation. I would work hard to help her get out and, if I witnessed it with my own eyes, I would call the police myself.

You can’t stop violence with violence, and she doesn’t need another violent man in her life. You can offer her shelter (or find it for her elsewhere), you might help her find a job that allows her financial freedom. You can provide hotline numbers. You can introduce her to a support group or simply a new friend group so doesn’t feel so dependent on this guy.

My advice? She's your friend. That makes it your business. The people who are telling you otherwise are full of shit.

Confront her and let her know that when she finally wisens up and decides to dump this losers ass, you'll be there with your buddies to make damn sure that he pounds sand and never looks back.

Would be best if she'd just put a bullet between this cockroaches eyes, but I'm guessing that's never going to happen.

Gather some friends around you, confront this bastard and teach him a lesson he will never forget. By doing nothing, you are enabling this abuse to continue, What sort of a friend do you call yourself,? Give him a good taste of some real bullying !

Let her know that she can call on you, if she ever feels she or her baby are in physical danger. The emotional abuse (calling her a whore, spitting on her) will carry over and affect her child once s/he is old enough to sense it. She should get out of that relationship as soon as she is able. She will be better off in the long run.

Decades ago, when I was pregnant, my husband would beat on me, presumably trying to make me lose the baby. It didn't seem too bad - I protected myself best I could - but I didn't know what to do - and no one to tell. I was sure he would come around after the baby was born. By the time I was pregnant with our 2nd baby, and had a 1 year old, he was still beating me. I would show up at my mom's all bruised, broken glasses, etc., pregnant and with a toddler, and she would just send me back home. (I came from an abusive home - and she didn't protect me as a child - she wasn't going to protect me as an adult either.)

When my son (2nd child) was 16 years old, he was relaxing on the couch one day when my husband came at me in a rage and said he was "going to beat the crap out of me" which caused my son to stand up to protect me. (Surprise, he was finally taller/bigger than his dad.) That's the day I took off my wedding ring and made the decision to get out, and felt I'd have my kids' understanding. When I finally got the courage to leave, after 25 years of marriage, my daughter (first child) asked why I didn't leave years ago. Both my kids saw the abuse all throughout the marriage, most of it mild or just threats, but still a hostile environment. Not a good home for a child.

I said all this to impress that abuse may start small, but it will likely escalate or at least continue to be an unhealthy environment for a child, and she needs to protect herself for the sake of her baby. She should not marry the boyfriend, and she should seek some sort of protective plan should she need it at some point.

If she's confided in you, then perhaps she is hoping you have some advice for her, or can provide some help in finding a safe space or permanent solution for this problem, before it escalates. She may not be telling you the worst of it. She may need encouragement to create distance between her and her boyfriend.

You can at least give her shelter phone numbers and offer to help her move. Women with children often stay in abusive relationships because they feel they have nowhere to go. For some reason her family isn't helping her.

It's interesting so many want to take the fellow outside and talk to him upside the head, very gallant.... but don't you think it's more important that the girl is the one who gets the talking. She has to be lifted. No one, no woman should allow themselves to be treated in a such a way. Why does she allow it. She should have stopped it the very first time it started. Why does she feel she deserves or has to endure such treatment. After all the guy could be beat down and maybe run off, but then, she would choose the same kind of fellow the net time. Yeah the guys a jerk and we'd all be ok with a bit of a kick to the face. The girl is the one who needs to stop it.

I am generally a pacifist, but in this case someone may need as ass kicking.
But I am not sure what can be done for your friend other than be as supportive as you can, and when she is ready to leave, be right there at her side. However disturbing and sad the situation is, ultimately it is her call. I wish you both well.