Dear Agnostic brothers and sisters the battle at Bowling Green was well fought, unfortunately Al Franken was seriously injured and had to withdraw from battle. For now my platoon and I are safe at the University as the red hats cannot open the doors. We are safely hidden in the science department. Currently we are tunneling through the floor toward the Red Hen where we will find sustenance and those of like mind. I know that I can count on all of you not to send thoughts and prayers
I'm currently in Barnes and Noble and am quite safe as no red hats would risk being called elite after entering a book store.
Most of those with me are in the reference section while I'm holding down the fort in the History Dept. making sure we don't repeat anything ?
I was wondering if you could go back to the Art Department and retrieve some carving tools for me? I can tell you where some whiskey is stashed as well. I have my reliable pea shooter and I'll gather my closest neighbors. Will be there shortly. I'd really appreciate it if you'd get my tools. You'd do it if it were paint!