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22 27

Masturbating

By Marcie19748
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22 comments

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7

I'm looking and I don't even see a penis.

nicknotes Level 8 July 12, 2018
7

Thank goodness we evolved from apes then...they have long arms...

thinktwice Level 8 July 12, 2018
5

Can’t be true, dinosaurs were extinct before the bible was invented!

3

Can I do it till I need glasses?

Rick_1 Level 5 July 13, 2018
3

Hmm, I am not experiencing this problem.

IAMGROOT Level 7 July 12, 2018
3

That's why they're so vicious!

3

Ah, yes, the ultimate goal of every paleontologist is to discover the elusive fossils of pre-masturbatory T-Rex. Bang a gong, get it on!

The website is hilarious, but the dire warning about masturbation induced natural disasters seem to be a few years old. The comments are fantastic.

You just can't make this shit up.

Byrdsfan Level 8 July 12, 2018
3

faithfact, lmao talk about a contradiction of terms

3

His mouth might reach but.....

brentan Level 8 July 12, 2018
2

At least he didn't go blind

steve148 Level 7 July 13, 2018

lol!!!

2

Lmao that's soo funny .!!!

Simon1 Level 7 July 13, 2018
2

My long arms have come in handy lately.

sloryd Level 7 July 12, 2018
2

That explains why they're always in such bad moods.

Benthoven Level 8 July 12, 2018
2

So funny that some xtians think that mastrubation is sinful. There is actually no verse in the bible that specifically mentions it or forbade it.

@Faithless1 Yes, thank you for that. I did read about him on thoughtco.com. It's still not masturbation, it's coitus interruptus. " The true crime of Onan was refusing to sire a son on his brother’s behalf." Anyhow, xtians will interpret things any which way they please.

@Faithless1 So if a woman does it for me no sin?

@Faithless1 Thise requires further study.

@Faithless1 Reason number 1 of about 100 of why I'm not a xtian smile001.gif

2

Seems legit.

2

Well, THAT'S a relief....LOL

drumreaper Level 5 July 12, 2018
2

Is anybody stupid enough to believe this? Or is it just a joke?

This is a joke.

No idea, saw it on an atheist Facebook group I’m in and thought it was so funny I just had to share.

@Marcie1974 I know there really is a Christian campaign to stop people masturbating, I just didn't know if this actually came from that or not.

@tnorman1236 wot?!!!

@thinktwice Yep. There is. And by the way, it's the first time I've ever been tagged by a woman under "masturbating" lol.

@ProudMary I know. They make it so easy to make fun of them.

@tnorman1236 Now you have me curious! Why the hell would anyone be against that? I must have missed the memo when I was a teen...am I going to hell? lol thank goodness I don't believe in any of that...sheesh...learn something new everyday...and uh, first time for everything, I guess! lol

@tnorman1236 Here's a funny YouTube video of the Jehovah's witnesses teaching deaf people not to masturbate:

@brentan That's hilarious!

@tnorman1236 Goddamn Perverts!

1

Food , sex and exercise ... Psychological super- nutrients .

1

So he has to have sex to get off?

Beatnik Level 7 July 12, 2018
1

Clickbait! Lol (it worked)

1

Great. Now, I feel like the idiot kid that's told "gullible" isn't in the dictionary and goes to look it up. Thanks a lot, Marcie! Rather than look up the link at the bottom of the picture, I googled faithfacts and found out there's a site called faithfacts.org that solicits questions. Could be just me, but I think it'd be awesome if we overwhelmed their site with obnoxious questions.

Sorry!! I didn’t even look them up, just couldn’t stop giggling so thought I’d share

@Marcie1974 The T-Rex had arms like a man, but masturbated, so He shortened them, then wiped out the T-Rex and all the other dinos, too, huh? Maybe there was some Jurassic insurrection, in which all the dinos pointed to the newly handicapped T-Rex and joined in a mass demonstration of unity. Claws, hoofs, toeless stubs all just going to town . . . until the asteroids hit and shut the party down. Think I understand the connection between oil & dinosaurs now. I'll never look at a gas nozzle the same again!

1

Hilarious. I guess humans are next. Lol

MrChange Level 7 July 12, 2018
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