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I have had three different men pm me on POF the past two weeks. We've set up coffee dates, and each one has either 1) canceled or 2) never got back to me after THEY suggested the meeting. I've come to the conclusion that it is far easier for men to get dates than women. I tend to be very picky, and won't just meet anyone, but I feel that men have "pick of the litter" because of all us single gals. No point to make here, just an observation.

AzVixen52 7 July 12

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If I could get just one or two requests for a meet up in a year or two, I sure would show up if I said I would, or if I couldn’t, I would let the person know, apologize, and try to reset the date. It has certainly not been my experience over several attempts that getting a woman to meet is like shooting fish in a barrel. More like regular fishing, without bait it seems. Like throwing the hook out into a toxic dead pond.

Perhaps you should try different waters.

@AzVixen52 I basically just stopped, closed all the accounts, and hang out here in the off chance of meeting someone of like mind. Point being, if I do make a contact and we set up a meet,you better believe I will be there! ?


How much time has passed? Another woman posted last week that a guy had not replied to her latest message. Turned out she was too impatient. Is it reasonable to assume these dudes are within short driving distance?

Maybe some other women responded to them before you did. And they were impatient.

I am not familiar with how POF works, other than it is only for singles. Does POF have a bunch of forums like here, where a member can post lots of comments.

I think this type of site is great. We can post profiles and lots of comments. And therefore, read a bunch of profiles, and read comments by members and learn lots about them.

I have been rebuffed because of my profile and because of many of my comments.

Maybe your profile is real scary. 😉 Or your messaging style.

What is your experience on this site?

Jacar Level 8 July 14, 2018

To be honest, I see this site as a social site, not a dating site. I don't consider my POF profile scary (one would assume one would READ my profile before messaging me, but perhaps that is asking too know, common sense!), but it is honest. I'm not going to lie about myself, or what I want JUST to get a date. A strong, secure man would appreciate what it says. Wimps need not apply. Thanks for your insight, though.

@AzVixen52 Thank you for your response. I was being a little dung-in-cheek.

@Jacar If the bullshit fits....?

@AzVixen52 Given the content of your post, most of my response is in context. WIth just a little silly, for fun.
Does POF have forums where members can post messages which can be used to learn about them as does this site? This is a major advantage of this site compared to "dating only" sites. is like a bar, picnic,... it is a social gathering that provides history and context and opportunity to meet other reasonable people. And to learn from what they have given to the spew.

Much more than a just profile is provided here.

I would like to see an expansion of the questions ala OKCupid. The more answered questions the better the match scores.


LOL. Nah, that's not it at all.


pof is lame.

All dating sites are lame. Just as much luck meeting someone in public.


Excuse my ignorance. What is POF?

Was wondering the same thing.

Plenty of fish


Coming from the opposite side, I feel like you were lucky to have so many messages in 2 weeks. That's as many as I got over 2 months at one point. 🙂 I have to send about 15 messages to get a reply unless it's the rare person who messages me first. And then, only 1 in 3 leads to meeting someone in person. This is over the course of a year now, on 3 different sites. 4 counting this one.

I was starting to think it was me... (maybe it is, of course).


I was on POF and I believe it is a big joke. The ones I meant were crazy and just wanted sex, found out one of them was even married. I am no longer on there because I found out a lot of them are liars.


Thankfully dating is in my past but in this brave new online world is the man still expected to make the first move?

The brave new online world does not supercede the real. So yes.

@recluse Bumble begs to differ.

Not at all.

@maturin1919 it's a niche app. Not the norm

I suppose I should clarify that sending an online message or a nudge or whatever is not much of a move to me. If I'm not even sure that you're a real person, it's just not the same. If you disagree with me then yeah, @MattHardy is right. But there's nothing brave about it.


Lol, try being a man offline, in the real world, and have at it getting dates with the pick of the litter. I promise you will be sorely disappointed a few times at best. Shrug it off, move on.

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