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16 7

Well not far off

KateZilla 7 July 14
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16 comments

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0

C'mon. Men are jerks in general...unless focused on seducing you, which they almost always are if you are halfway attractive.

Once they are satisfied, though, all bets are off.

Or the woman is smart enough to follow "The Rules."

1

This type of commentary is clever and cute, but not necessarily iron-clad. There are exceptions and tell the truth, I'm still looking.

1

Perhaps be happy with who you are then you don't need anyone to complete you. That way you are not looking for qualities that won't disappoint because, for sure, you will not find perfection in anyone else. Crack it for yourself and you can have as many relationships as you like without expecting the next one to be 'the one'

2

Work with the handsome to fill his brain
Work with the brilliant to be less serious
Work with the rich one to help him be respectful
Help the hardworking to make time for you
.....
.....
See where this is going? The "problem" may seem to be the on other person, however the way to improve the situation is within one self

I thoroughly disagree. You seem to be saying that you should try to "fix" people and make them who you want them to be. This is extremely manipulative and unfair. I truly believe you should take people as they are. Otherwise, only misery and frustration awaits you.

@Ellievescent if saying work with them or help them sounds manipulative to you then that's your opinion and you're entitled to it. I know who I am and how I like to develop frienship with people that disagree with my expectations. See, I am working with you to get to some middle ground and I haven't ask you to change.

@IamNobody I may have misunderstood precisely what you mean from your wording, but trying to make someone change a fundamental personality trait to something you would personally prefer is not necessarily helping them?

@Ellievescent understood. My thought process is more like trying to make adjustments to improve circumstances. Of course this logic applies only to certain extent

1

The problem is not with finding a wonderful person - it's being wonderful enough oneself to keep them.

Gareth Level 7 July 15, 2018
1

Looking for a perfect fit in an off the rack world is unwise. Perhaps, you should look at the individuals rather than an arbitrary set of characteristics that you perceive to be the perfect man. Typically, most people are ok, though everyone has there faults.

2

You find a critical one, he/she finds fault with everyone.

2

There are always differences. Reminds me of an old Twilight Zone episode about some guy who wished everyone was just like him. He got his wish and he found out what a hellscape it was when everyone looked and acted JUST like him. There isn't much interest without difference.

The problem for me is more along the lines that you give up a certain amount of self-determination and personal preference to live with someone and their particular constellation of neuroses, hot buttons, hang-ups, fears, avoidances and needs, which take quite a lot of effort to understand and adapt to or compromise over. And yes, they get tired of YOUR bullshit too. So the first thing one has to do is get rid of your own unconscious idealized partner that no one can possibly live up to, and your romanticized ideal of what marriage is supposed to be (hint: not "never having to say you're sorry" and certainly not "simple" or "easy" ). Either that or resign yourself to flying solo.

0

You're too picky ???

1

I forget who said it but someone observed:"Men, women, women, men, it will never work!"

1

It should be hard. This is a person you are going to allow to share your life.

I once did a thought exercise to determine what percentage of the population would be my "target" for a mate. Things like intelligence, body type, non-religious and many other. Again, this is a life partner, not a date.

I came up with under 1%. That's about right.

It should be hard. Don't settle. I had magic once. It's worth seeking.

5

Look for fault, and you WILL find it.

2

What a person says about others is often a reflection of himself or herself. None of us will find a perfect mate. That is a given, and we start from there. The question is" Will you find a mate who is such that you both will add the quality of each other's life?"

0

You find a perfect one, they just drive you crazy.

godef Level 7 July 14, 2018
0

Not that I am into dating, but I fit into none of the above. just saying, 🙂

0

I guess you should give up. I'm not sure the person you want exists. I've certainly never met anyone, male or female, who is perfect.

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