Do you ever feel that no one "gets" you? Sometimes I feel like I shape shift so much, I almost don't get myself.
One person did nearly totally, a long time partner. And I've recently met someone who may be able to as well.
Having said that, it's OK that most don't. I am uncommon in that I am flexible and can get most anyone to like me. Then I can figure out if I am going to like them. They see the shell and think it is me. I allow only a select few to see what's under the mask. And BTW, I am not manipulative or dishonest with it. It is a learned defense mechanism. It serves me well.
I also tend to stand apart. In a room with me and 10 other people, there will eventually be five conversations and me sipping my wine. This isn't to say noone gets me, several people do. But by and large, nope. At this point, it doesn't bother me. I've tried changing my behavior to "fit in" when I was much younger, and that went over like a turd in a punch bowl, plus I was miserable pretending.
Well, final phrase is connected to my outlook on the question. The fact is that no one could "get" me because I didn't know myself. Or rather, I hid from/denied myself.
In the past 2 years I've learned more about myself and am becoming...well, me.
In doing so I'm finding some who actually do get me. But not being open with myself I had made it impossible for others to have a chance. Now, I feel like more & more I give myself the opportunity to allow them to see (and reflect back) at least more of myself. I'm becoming healthy in a mental way I couldn't until I began to get myself!
I do feel like an outcast in society, with only a hand-full of friends that understand me. Feels like most people either don't care about what I have to say, or are offended by me. I’ve always appreciated those who actually listen to or consider my thoughts, even if they don't agree with me.
Yes, I've been trying to make friends and every group I've tried seems to not want to have anything to do with you if you don't attend church or don't believe. ARRRRGGGHHH! When you are 67 the only things available are crafts and church groups. I am nearly given up.
My problem is that people think they "get" me by making astonishingly inaccurate, and often insulting, assumptions about my life, circumstances, and personality. The worst part is that they often won't change their minds even in the face of evidence to the contrary. I even had a neighbour try to convince the police that my daughter and I were serial killers with dead bodies hidden in our minuscule apartment. Sigh ...
Frequently. I didn't belong for a long time when I was a kid, not as a perception, as a reality. I'm not sure I've ever really detached from that feeling, and honestly it ended up working to some benefit studying anthropology. Cultural perceptive bias is easier to maneuver around when you already feel like an outsider every day, everywhere you go, and to a certain extent, integration without internalizing the identity is a useful tool in anthropology, to allow for clean separation when a project's time is up, or to be able to switch lenses from one set of perceptions to another. Sometimes turning your weaknesses into strengths is the best strategy.
Always have this issue. No matter where I go, what places I become part of, I never seem to fit in. I always eventually get turned into this person very few like, no matter how I try.
Even here there are times I feel like I'm unwelcome. However I'll always keep trying to be a better me and eventually people will like me or hate me and I won't care
I sit in the corner, in the dark, watching the "beautiful" people as they chase rainbows. Once in a while I'll peek out to get a better view but I adore the darkness, it's my comfort, my security, it's where I can be me and not have fit in or create a survival persona molded for approval by others.Sanctuary.
I know where you're coming from and it frustrates me on occassion. Its seems so much easier for me to "get" someone else than it is for anyone including myself to get me.
I always get excited when I think someone is figuring me out, but then they make a false assumption or other misread and it quickly fizzles. Even friends I've had for 30 yrs. don't fully "get" who I am.
It would be nice to have someone figure me out though, maybe really scary too. Hmmmmm.....