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Do you ever feel that no one "gets" you? Sometimes I feel like I shape shift so much, I almost don't get myself.

Alimacbean 7 July 18
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0

Yes.

Gohan Level 7 July 19, 2018
5

One person did nearly totally, a long time partner. And I've recently met someone who may be able to as well.

Having said that, it's OK that most don't. I am uncommon in that I am flexible and can get most anyone to like me. Then I can figure out if I am going to like them. They see the shell and think it is me. I allow only a select few to see what's under the mask. And BTW, I am not manipulative or dishonest with it. It is a learned defense mechanism. It serves me well.

Hmmmmmm....interesting. Light bulb moment for me. This is pretty much the same thing that I do except that I wasn't aware of it (never really cared enough to think about it) until I saw your words. A lot of people mistakenly take me at face value and think that I am a pushover or can be manipulated, only to find out that they are wrong. lol

4

I also tend to stand apart. In a room with me and 10 other people, there will eventually be five conversations and me sipping my wine. This isn't to say noone gets me, several people do. But by and large, nope. At this point, it doesn't bother me. I've tried changing my behavior to "fit in" when I was much younger, and that went over like a turd in a punch bowl, plus I was miserable pretending.

zeuser Level 8 July 19, 2018
4

I give not one rat's ass whether someone "gets me" or not...it is very free-ing, you should try it!

3

Certainly, I feel alienated most of the time from most people. I am unconventional in almost every way and few seem to appreciate. I am who I am and happy with it.

3

Hell no..... Not now, not ever. If no one gets me then that's their choice and I have nothing to do with it

2

Well, final phrase is connected to my outlook on the question. The fact is that no one could "get" me because I didn't know myself. Or rather, I hid from/denied myself.
In the past 2 years I've learned more about myself and am becoming...well, me.
In doing so I'm finding some who actually do get me. But not being open with myself I had made it impossible for others to have a chance. Now, I feel like more & more I give myself the opportunity to allow them to see (and reflect back) at least more of myself. I'm becoming healthy in a mental way I couldn't until I began to get myself!

Having a ball being authentic myself! ?

2

I prefer that people don’t get me. The things that I do and my lifestyle have some people worry that I might become a social outcast. And I would think, “What’s so bad about that?”

Nothings wrong with it, but its nice to be able to be yourself fully without worrying that your weirdness rubs someone the wrong way.

@Alimacbean Here's the thing. I don't care if my weirdness rubs someone the wrong way. In fact, a lot of times I rub them the wrong way on purpose. You are just a nicer person than I am.

2

I do feel like an outcast in society, with only a hand-full of friends that understand me. Feels like most people either don't care about what I have to say, or are offended by me. I’ve always appreciated those who actually listen to or consider my thoughts, even if they don't agree with me.

2

Yes, I've been trying to make friends and every group I've tried seems to not want to have anything to do with you if you don't attend church or don't believe. ARRRRGGGHHH! When you are 67 the only things available are crafts and church groups. I am nearly given up.

2

I don't understand why anyone would feel the need to "shape shift".
Then again "fitting in" is not something that's ever been important to me.
Probably why high school was so miserable.

That's not it at all. Different parts of my personality come out naturally in different scenarios, i.e. work, home, vacation, etc. Since no one gets to see all of those aspects, no one can see the full spectrum of my personality.

@Alimacbean Okay.

While in uniform, I do act differently. At the clinic, the nurse was doing tests on my hand for some torn ligaments, and he said not to do any fast, repatitions with my hand. It was a joke I wouldve laughed at out of uniform. Instead I gave him a blank look and laughed internaly.

@RandyMoose That's hilarious. I told someone at work that they had to get up at the butt crack of dawn and she was so shocked that the words butt crack came out of my mouth. If she only knew the vulgar sense of humor I have...

@Alimacbean The ability to adjust to your surroundings and different groups of people is normal and healthy.

@Alimacbean There is respect and there is being yourself. The less you be yourself the less they will get you.

@IAJO163 I never said I wasn't being myself. I'm different versions of myself in different scenarios.

@Alimacbean I can fit in anywhere. The question is "Can I be myself anywhere?"

@IAJO163 That is the magic question.

@Alimacbean Short of being assholes, that's what we strive for as we already live on the outskirts of society and shunned.

2

Love yourself first then love everything else

2

I and the people who matter most "get me"! Not too worried about what anyone else thinks! 😉

Pete66 Level 6 July 19, 2018
2

No one. My family never did. There is a guy at work who is more introverted than me understood. Not until I joined agnostics.com did I feel kindred spirits on a community scale. I never changed for anyone. Accept me, don’t accept me. Your choice

jab60 Level 6 July 19, 2018
2

My problem is that people think they "get" me by making astonishingly inaccurate, and often insulting, assumptions about my life, circumstances, and personality. The worst part is that they often won't change their minds even in the face of evidence to the contrary. I even had a neighbour try to convince the police that my daughter and I were serial killers with dead bodies hidden in our minuscule apartment. Sigh ...

2

Only a few people "get" me, and that's few and far between. I think that's true for everyone, even popular people who appear to have a lot of friends.

2

Frequently. I didn't belong for a long time when I was a kid, not as a perception, as a reality. I'm not sure I've ever really detached from that feeling, and honestly it ended up working to some benefit studying anthropology. Cultural perceptive bias is easier to maneuver around when you already feel like an outsider every day, everywhere you go, and to a certain extent, integration without internalizing the identity is a useful tool in anthropology, to allow for clean separation when a project's time is up, or to be able to switch lenses from one set of perceptions to another. Sometimes turning your weaknesses into strengths is the best strategy.

2

How another person "gets" me within his or her mind depends on who they think they are. I do make an effort most of the time to present a good image. I also like to question my own thoughts about how I think about others....

I get that 😀

2

Always have this issue. No matter where I go, what places I become part of, I never seem to fit in. I always eventually get turned into this person very few like, no matter how I try.

Even here there are times I feel like I'm unwelcome. However I'll always keep trying to be a better me and eventually people will like me or hate me and I won't care

1

Me too. My whole life. People don't like me to "be myself" So I went the longest time not knowing who I was.

1

for sure

Yanya Level 7 July 20, 2018
1

I sit in the corner, in the dark, watching the "beautiful" people as they chase rainbows. Once in a while I'll peek out to get a better view but I adore the darkness, it's my comfort, my security, it's where I can be me and not have fit in or create a survival persona molded for approval by others.Sanctuary.

1

We all wear masks even with close friends and we all lie to ourselves its no wonder no one ever truly gets you we change ll the time

weeman Level 7 July 19, 2018
1

I know where you're coming from and it frustrates me on occassion. Its seems so much easier for me to "get" someone else than it is for anyone including myself to get me.

I always get excited when I think someone is figuring me out, but then they make a false assumption or other misread and it quickly fizzles. Even friends I've had for 30 yrs. don't fully "get" who I am.

It would be nice to have someone figure me out though, maybe really scary too. Hmmmmm.....

1

What is my self if not an ‘I’? A voice in this body? A physical agency (force) that moves this flesh?

Yanis Level 3 July 19, 2018
1

Yes and all this time I thought that I was the only one. 😀

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