The last time I was visited by a pair of JW maidens, I opened my door wearing my low cut skivvies, upon which they gasped and left without peddling their ware.

For Jehovah's Witnesses, I have three sentences in my back pocket:

"I don't believe in an invisible being that resides somewhere beyond the clouds."

"We are ALL atheists here," I say with a sweeping wave to include the entire neighborhood.

"At age four, I stopped having imaginary friends, like the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus or an invisible deity."

This shuts them up. While they puzzle, I smile, say goodbye and shut the door.

Jehovah's Witnesses don't knock on my door anymore. Perfect.

I open the door.

I find out they want to convert me.

I close the door.

What colour were adam and eve?

blasting death metal beer in hand and talking about quantum physics a

'Why are there no dinosaurs in the bible?'

wearing your Satanic Temple tshirt... either that or wearing nothing and acting completely casual about it

It's usually Mormon's. I had two women knock on the door. I ask them the most Brazzer questions.

Is it true only 144,000 men make it to heaven and no Women.
The ladies, yes that is true.
The best Mormon men can own their own planet with 33 beautiful babes as wives.
Ladies.. yes, that is true

Last ? Would not want to join another Religion that treat women better.
Silent

only happened once i was 9 and its the 1st time i remember my grandma swearing if it happened now i honestly have no idea how i would react

I don’t engage. I am never rude, but I am firm and tell them I believe in science not science fiction.

Dunno

I don't answer the door anymore for strangers. My wife, if irritated by the doorbell, let's Zorak the Wonder Dog deal with it.

I always tell them I believe in science not fiction.. then close the door while they try to process that.

Here’s the 3 best ways I’ve dealt with it:

1. I told them I was running late for work, but if they came back in two hours my roommate would be all about it. You should know that he was a grouchy prick that slept til 3pm everyday. Sure enough, they came back. He was pissed.

2. I asked “if that book is the words of god, wouldn’t you want to just give it to me instead of selling it to me ?” The lady grinned, knowing exactly what I was doing and politely left.

3. While getting drunk watching basketball, two 19yo morman kids wanted to talk , so invited them in and offered them beer. Two hours later, they left with doubt and concern. It’s as if I ruined Christmas forever.

A lot of people like to be rude to these folks, I think it’s funnier to be honest with them and perhaps get a rare experience from them by doing something they don’t anticipate. That’s just me, captain smart-ass.

There is always a part of me that wants to say, Look you stupid asshole, your bible is shit, your religion is shit. Do yourself a favor and go read a Science book.

But in real life I'm just not that way, I'm usually fairly polite and just tell them that religion may work for you, but it's not for me. I am an Atheist, and just walk away.

However, if some one won't leave me alone and won't let it go, I'll hit them with some facts, and ask them some questions about the bible that I know that they won't have a good answer.
I'd rather plant seeds than just push my Atheism.