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How religious family members "support" you.

Ive been having a pretty rough go of it these last couple weeks and im away from my family for the first time ever.
They are religious and im an atheist. Weve discussed this, had conversation about our difference of beliefs. Its all good.

But they always try to comfort me with god. Like "don't worry, god will guide you where you need to go" "god has a plan" "praying for you"

Which i know they are trying to help, BUT its so infuriating!!!

I feel like they are rubbing religion in my face rather than actually help!? And what good is that to me? God has a plan!? There is no plan, you have to make things happen.

Rather than thinking deeper for a way to help, they just use a cop out that makes them feel better but me feel worse.

Venting for the day complete ✔

Lynn1216 4 July 21
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37 comments (26 - 37)

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1

if its all good i doubt they mean to annoy you they are just doing their thing and your doing yours you can't expect them to just change their language to suit you they are still convinced in a god and must still feel that this god will help you good luck tho

weeman Level 7 July 21, 2018
1

Have you considered trying to convey your feelings in writing? Maybe something like: "I know you pray for me. You are Christian and you love me, and Christians pray for those they love. But when you keep reminding me it feels like you are badgering me."

And:

"I know you believe there is a God who has a plan, and you know I don't believe this. So when you keep asserting something you know I don't believe it feels like you are trying to start an argument."

Just a thought.

1

I never really brought it up with my family. I never viewed differences in beliefs to be something worth arguing about or potentially dividing the family over.

1

As someone who knows that struggle, I have to agree with @Mitch07102 . Their frame of reference is different than yours so they can't easily comprehend what statements like that really mean (or don't mean) to you. So take it with a grain of salt. The love is genuine and that's the part that really matters.

1

Screw em

0

Sounds like you could use some new people in your life. Not giving up your family or anything, but rather finding others that have similar beliefs as you do. Build up a support structure of these people so you can have others to rely upon for what your family can't give.

Atecc Level 4 Nov 17, 2018
0

You Need to Vent, Cannot Keep inside or ELSE Maybe Lynn

0

I have no one who is religious in my family but I would walk away if they tried any of that stuff on me!.

jacpod Level 8 July 23, 2018
0

Religion tends to remove the ability to think and process outside of predefined responses. The responses about god's plan etc. are comforting to those who believe in a higher being. Obviously though for us free thinkers its clearly not much comfort and rather offensive.

If possible ask for them to refrain from these statements and see if they can offer comfort in another way. Maybe even provide them some examples. Maybe something like "regardless of where the Plinko chips fall, You'll get to spin the big wheel" at least it has some basis in life. Lol

And feel free to vent whenever you need.

0

My parents think I didn't get the last job I applied for because I didn't pray before my interview. Now that's the motivation I needed.

0

It is about you. Learn to roll with the punches. I don't argue religion with nobody... atheist or religious.

0

Your family doesn't know what else to do. They aren't picking on you. It's not personal (at all, or at least for the most part). This is what they tell each other, and themselves. They wouldn't be any help if you were a believer like them, either.

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