Why are there so many people who are lonely? Why is it so hard for people to make real connections when almost everyone wants to make real connections?
What’s the most crucial thing for a healthy relationship?
6
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30 comments (26 - 30)
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.IMO one of the cricial parts of a healthy relationship is being comfortable & at peace being alone, all by yourself. If you need someone to "fill a hole" or to "complete" you, you are going to end up being lonely in a relationship. You'll come off as clingy, demanding, manipulative, etc. The sexiest thing, for me, is a man who doesn't "need" me, he wants me. He can do for himself just fine but he loves just having me in the same room with him because he enjoys my company.
SallyInStitches
Level 7
July 25, 2018
3
Oh Sally...you have a way with words. I like the way you say ""The sexiest thing, for me, is a man who doesn't "need" me, he wants me""
I am a loner, an introvert, practically a recluse and I rarely feel lonely. On those rare occasions I might feel lonely, I visit some married family and friends and it only takes me a very short while observing them that when I leave I tell myself how thankful I am that I live alone.
jlynn37
Level 8
July 25, 2018
3
Having a relationship is not for everyone. But isn't it more fun to have a warm body in your bed at night?
I suppose lonely people aren't comfortable being alone with themselves.
In the US, it's fashionable for new mothers to stick bottles in babies' mouths and return to work, causing a lifetime of inability to connect to others.
How a parent’s affection shapes a child’s happiness for life [mother.ly]
birdingnut
Level 8
July 25, 2018
2
There you go...original thought...blame it on mom. Maybe they ought to do a study and compare the lives of breast fed babies and bottle fed babies to see how they fare in relationships later in life.
@nicknotes Surely you're kidding. The amazing benefits of breastfeeding have been common knowledge for decades. Link: The longer babies breastfeed, the more they achieve in life – major study [theguardian.com]
I was a breast fed baby....My children were breast fed by their mother. I think the natural way is best.@birdingnut
That's a very good point... That's why I don't want to have children. (@birdingnut)
@AdriaBack I sure didn't. I was totally opposed to having kids, but a subliminal TV campaign by Johnson and and Johnson convinced my subconscious that having kids would make me happy. I only knew about the subliminal ad when one day there was glitch and the ad froze, instead of flashing past too quickly to register. Nevertheless, I'm glad I did have kids..I think.
My motherhood examples were my pets, so I had my babies at home, nursed them for two years, carried them around on my back and continued riding my horses and hiking, except carrying them. They had scary high IQs, perhaps from the long nursing time.
My answer--many people are too anxious about getting together to let a relationship develop and unfold naturally. Looking back on my longish life, my best relationships have come with both mates and friends who I spent time around for reasons other than trying to specifically be with them, and we found ourselves liking each other more and more the more time we were in each other's presence. I honestly don't know how this relates to online dating. I've never successfully done it, so I cannot say. But my experience is that if you are out in the world meeting people and pursuing interests, you will from time to time encounter people you feel drawn to for a deeper friendship or romance.
seaspot_run
Level 7
July 25, 2018
4
I agree. I wish I knew how to connect with more people. I get very lonely, especially on Saturday night. I haven't had anyone to go out with on saturdays for a long time. People work or hang out with others and don't invite me. I call it my Saturday blues.
confidentrealm
Level 7
July 25, 2018
2
If they are friends, work mates, aquaintances, invite yourself and I am sure you would be warmly accepted to join them.
Check the newspapers...sometimes their are dances sponsored by community groups on weekends. Join clubs, join political organizations...use your imagination.
@nicknotes I'm pretty lazy and I don't dance... LOL. I know, I need to be more assertive. I used to be when I was younger but not so much now. My problem is I have to find my new normal and be happy there. I'm not the same person I used to be.
I hope you discover yourself and bloom like a beautiful flower @confidentrealm
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