I must admit I am extremely appreciative that on this forum I have been able to vent about my grief of losing Vincent without being flooded by prayers and God statements, and people trying to make me convert. Vincent's family gave him a mostly mormon funeral. I paid for the military portion of it, as I did honor guard when I was a soldier and knew how to go about getting him a military burial. But I ended up fighting with his family after the funeral services because they kept telling me that unless I converted to Mormonism, I wouldn't be reunited with Vincent. And so on and so forth. Even though I knew from Vincent's own mouth that he didnt believe. His family still reaches out and tries to convert me every few months. So I am just grateful that this forum exists. That I can hurt, and grieve, and be honest about it, and not just end up even more upset. I hate the bullshit lines about God needing an angel, and he is at peace now, and blah blah blahnik. Vincent stopped going and believing because as a light skinned black man he knew and understood that just a few decades before, he wouldn't have been allowed in that church. And he felt the church and their answers couldn't justify why in a manner that didnt compromise the integrity of their words. I cried horribly at the service because it felt like none of them knew him. The real him.