One choice! IF THERE'S ONE thing in your life that you could change what would it be?
I spent fifteen years of my life in various forms of reparative therapy, trying to be straight so I didn't piss off God. That was at a time when I was cute and guys actually wanted to have sex with me... That's not the case anymore. I feel like I'd like to go back to that time and make the most out of it.
I would have moved home sooner to be with my parents in their twilight years...I miss them and wish I had learned more about them while they were still alive.
When I was 21 I sprained my back and it caused 2 discs to bulge but not cause any real problems, but about 14 years ago, I was having back spasms and they convulsed and disc L5-S1 blew and took out the outside of my right leg. Forced me to retire as a distance runner.
That I didn't have Schizo-affective disorder.
That's okay... why change anything at 64? Did what I did with what I had... I am going to do the rest of my life with what I got. Regardless of the outcome, I will be satisfied. Like Rodriguez said "Nothing Beats Reality".
@HardBlues69 Thank You. Give you an example, a poem I wrote found by my wife caused me the Divorce. Means I would had never meet a bunch of women I had the pleasure. Truth... would I wish never to wrote it? Nope, truth is there are like 50 women in Europe with a copy of that poem, with the last verse accomodated to suit them in specific. The poem was already retired, cheating out of my system when found by her. I knew the risk, I took my chance and accepted the consequences and moved on. One of many forks in my life, still more to happen, I am game, all is welcome. Could had been murdered over 30 years ago but instead I am here. Still creating hell and discontent and enjoying life. Made it to Retirement in good health. Why bitching for not getting my mother's hazel eyes, my grandfather's height? As a child I used to stutter, I taught me to never do it again. Taught me to walk out of a club with the prettiest woman in the club. Never lowered my standards in women, never seen a viagra pill, never pushed or stricken a woman. What I don't have I will never miss. I wouldn't change anything because the hope that just maybe the Best Woman in My Life will be found here today or tomorrow in the Dry Cleaners is enough incentive to wake up and live another day. Life is Good. I apreciate being alive and living as I can until my last day on earth.
Philosophers will tell us that we are thrown into existence and trying to crawl out of it is what makes it so absurd. Race, Religion, Sex, Physical and Mental in differences which all have to be sorted out and overcome These obstacles are blocks which others manipulate for their benefit and your inconvenience.
About my past? Two things. The first abusive boyfriend who kept me in a box like veal and didn't let me experience all the things that young adulthood is about (age 17-25), leaving me emotionally scarred with no self esteem, and no idea who I was. And the second abuser who left me with a traumatic brain injury which cut my life in half, dashing extremely high expectations.
Yeah, I would delete those two men off the planet, if that was what it took to erase them from my past and be healthy and whole.
Relationship status. A good partner in crime makes a world of difference ?.
I wish I had been more proactive when I was younger. I was raised by a hippie who loved her little sun babies but I wasn't taught to think ahead. I wasnt taught to plan or step back before a mistake is made. It took a long time for me to learn it on my own as an adult. It isnt as easy now as it would have been when I was young
I would probably change where I went for high school. Sometimes I think I would have done better and did more things if I went to public school instead of catholic school. I'd have more experience at relationships since it was an all boys school. I still would have gone to college for Aviation, but would I have done better? Would I have done the things that I have done? I guess I'll never know, but those 4 years working the line at the Kalamazoo airport were the best 4 years of my life. As strange as it may be, I love the smell of jet fuel in the morning, the exhaust is heavenly, and a turbofan engine at takeoff is the best sound in the world.
Have no regrets, only for what I don't do in the future.
Where I went to High School.
That a certain person didn't die of colon cancer in 2010.
@Charity Thanks. The worst part is so much of our creativity is tied into passion, which is tied into sexuality, and by attacking sexuality in general, the church tends to eat up all the creativity, turning out automatons.