I’m new here, and one thing that I have noticed with grieving families is that they ask me if the deceased is in heaven etc.
I do not say I don’t believe in it, I say to them that whatever helps them with their grief is there for them to take solace in.
What are everyone’s views on this?
For sure, if people find solace in some sort of belief then who am I to piss on their parade. I wouldn't be so keen on the idea of people roping me into some religious mumbo jumbo after I've shuffled off this mortal coil but there's not a whole bunch I can do about it.
I think that, especially in times of grief and loss, kindness in words and actions is FAR more important than touting your belief (or non-belief). In speaking to them in ways they can understand, you are helping comfort them - which is just being kind.
Always go with what is kind; it doesn't harm you, and helps those in need.
I often say something like "If there's a heaven, I feel sure your loved one is there." I think this often works because these bereaved believers don't question whether there is a heaven; rather, they just want assurance that that is where their loved one went.
Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.
If I'm asked directly about whether I believe in heaven, I'll answer truthfully that I do not. I can't lie about that.
If it's expressed that someone else believes in it, I will not dispute them.
That's the best I can do for anyone, grieving or otherwise.
I'm not going to lie to you, even to make you feel better.
I just can't do it.