Been a Week since the Loss of My Daughter Debra Guernica, 32. Some here, very few knew. I want to extent My Apreciation from the bottom of my Heart. It is easier at times to open up to a stranger than someone with a defined point of view. I sleep on her bed last night. I had been preparing for years for the loss of my Mother (90's) and Life threw me a Curve and I never going to be ready for this one. But as my Son told me... "What will Debra tell you right now? Don't be a Bitch!". And he is Right on. She got everything from me Artistic speaking except Strenght of My Heart. My carbon copy... the one in an argument will scream "I adore you" and ended it right there! So many decisions I could had made that would had changed her life forever but you don't get a second chance or can't go back in time. Your children do not belong to you, they belong to Life. I am not going deep into the circumstances but many of those things that drive someone over the edge were not there... she had purchased a new car in February with downpayment out of her tips as bartender/waiter her mother being there just to make sure was a good deal. She was proud of doing it on her own. Paid first 6 months so no car note until September. Over 300.00 found in cash and coins around her things. 4 beers out of a sixpack still in the fridge, no drugs found. No empty hard liquor bottles found, Rent paid until September, 2 jobs, Realtor Licensed, Culinary School Graduated. Musician, recorder of garage bands. The laptop I gave her in Feb (last time I saw her) there, so another laptop also new "StarWars Themed". And her work horse laptop and all her equipment for recording. All her guitars and bass, there. Could do art and write songs. Bisexual and passionate greedy (it was my daughter after all)... at one time lived with her boyfriend and girlfriend and she was the Ring Leader... Made plans with her mother same night she decided to go. Last time I talked to her 2 weeks before, I put money on her bank account as per her request... for first time in 2018. I never questioned her about need for money, she knew I will not pay my rent to make sure hers is paid. I knew that many times she asked for money, not for a need but for I want, like great seats to a concert. I indulged her, as much as any other of ny kids, never being a no father, this is their time. I wanted to bring her to live with me in Las Vegas. She always going to be my favorite roommate. She didn't ended her life in a drug overdose and that leads me to believe drugs was not the problem. I will never understand why not reaching out to me at the last moment but she lived a lot on her almost 33 years, as if there was no tomorrow. Her departure brought us together (mother/father/sister/son). She will be missed and I will always going to carry her in my heart now in pieces. I always said I never had a broken heart but as the Hollywood Twist in the Best of Plots... The Woman that will Break My Heart was not going to be a Lover it was going to be My Daughter. That will teach me a lesson. No service in church done, I am sure they are waiting for me to leave. She looked as an Angel, no makeup, no additives, she looked sleeping as so often I saw her when she was my roommate. She still looked as a high schooler at near 33. The picture is from Maddona's Rebel Heart Tour in Atlanta, I was treated by her and her mother. Cremated, her mother keeping the ashes and when she retires and move back to Puerto Rico, ashes will be spread in her garden. She was the only one of my children to be born where I was born just like I was only one of my father's. I am going to miss My Rebel always complaining of receiving a sheltered childhood. That we always had a Good Relationship brings me peace. She simply loved the wrong person too much and got tired of the Rollercoaster. She didn't had my strong heart but she had my strong will to ended it. Well...This is It. I will Father Up, Man Up and Life Up! Wishing you all best of Sundays and Rest of Summer. I will continue Pester Around in a Limited Basis.