Take care of yourself. The rest will fall into place if you do.

You're free now. No school, no shit, enjoy it. Be confident in who you are and take what comes on your terms. Don't compromise. You've earned it.

You do not need a spouse. Just live your life and enjoy being with your friends. If a spouse does come along, great. If not, also great. You are You and that is very special.

My experience has shown me that people tend to pick the kind of partner they feel (consciously, or not) they deserve.

Over years, as I found myself, and felt more solid in who I am, I selected better partners (for me). Funny how that works ...

And while having a partner certainly has it's merits, I also realize that many people are perfectly able to grow and live their dreams with or without another person in their lives !

Not scared.

Yes. Take care of yourself. Be the best you that you can be and live your life, regardless of who does or doesn't show up.

I've learned this the hard was. Don't look to others for fulfillment. When you connect with someone else look at them hard to make sure that they won't be an anchor dragging you down. If you can take care of yourself and recognize your own value you are less likely to have some one be a parasite to you! Good luck!

I'm with you and Eartha Kitt on this, because I've learned from bitter experience myself that not loving and respecting yourself enough can lead to unsatisfying relationships for numerous reasons because you don't consider yourself worthy of something better. Yes, I believe it is worth it to be in a HEALTHY intimate relationship, but it starts with loving one's self. It sounds as though you are well on the right track, and can be content with who you are, coupled or not. That's huge, and GO YOU!! And for what it's worth, I believe some men of a certain age (of whom I'm one, I admit it) become more demanding of youth and beauty in a partner because they are afraid of growing old and dying--it's insecurity and denial, two things that, last I checked, don't insure a relationship that's healthy. I believe that there are some folks out there whose baggage isn't a burden for functional intimacy. My goal is to be one of those people--happy with myself, and unwilling to settle for anyone who isn't.

You've got it dialed! You can only save yourself.

There are men who don't fit the codependent pattern of your past relationships, and they are worth waiting for. Healthy interdependence is different from needy codependence. But ... you're right ... guys are optional ... if and when useful. I wish I had figured out my version of this, oh, say 25 years ago.

You can tell ALL of these people to go kick rocks. You're doing exactly what you should be doing. I'd say that you got this, but I think you already know that.

Why choose to have relationships with abusive or alcoholic men?
2 bad apples don't spoil the whole applecart !

By doing exactly what you said in your last paragraph, you will attract the kind of person who will not want to tame you or control you, but to be your true partner in life. Stick to your guns and be the strong woman that gets the most out of life by claiming it and making no excuses for doing so...and it will never change as you get older, either...you will always want more and reach for it...if a man cannot keep up, then you have to do what you have to in order to survive. You are the daughter I would have loved to have...I am so proud of all of your accomplishments and your gumption...I think I might have a happy cry...

Knwing what the problem is, takes you half way towards the solution. I'll say you keep looking (young dude, old balls sugar daddy, hot crazy chic, shy mature woman... Or any other option you can think of), but keep looking. You will know when you find your match. In the meantime, move quick if the current relationship does not feel right...... I wish someone had told me this when I was younger. Cheers and carry on.

You are an amazing person. You should never have to compromise who you are. You have been through so much and have totally risen above it. Anyone would be lucky to share your life with them. You deserve to be happy and not have to sacrifice yourself to achieve it.

Don’t compromise! I have decided that I am happy alone, however if I met a man (I am heterosexual) and the relationship is “good”, then I could commit. There is value in intimacy, it just has to be worth it. Keep living your life and you never know what will come in to your life.

One of the greatest loves of my life was a girlfriend. No language barrier.

it is about what you want and not what you need

You are an amazing woman and any man, or woman, worth even a second of your time will see that and treat you accordingly. You shouldn't have to compromise one iota on who you are when you find that person, they'll be smitten as you are.