Some people need artificial boundaries, others chafe at them. Marriage is appealing when you are in love and think that things will never change, and sometimes it works out that way. Sometimes it works for quite a while, right up until it doesn't. Enjoying outside friendships within the context of either marriage or domestic partnership depends on what each person allows the other to do, and that comes down to trust, with or without a license. And in my opinion, the Abrahamic religions, similar to any other religion, are oppressive nonsense intended to control the lives of others. YMMV

I like the idea of marriage. A ceremony to celebrate your union and promise to eachother. It doesn't have to last forever, but it's a nice idea regardless.

As for what constitutes as cheating, I know many people have completely different ideas of it, but I personally view anything involving relations with another as cheating. Sometimes it's cheating with permission, sometimes it's "cheating without physically cheating", but whether it's talking sexually with another or full on sex, i view it as cheating. It's my own idea of it, and many disagree, but that's how I see it.

Children or no children marriage is marriage and cheating is cheating.

The rule is, there are no rules.
Nothing can be applied across the board.
Everyone has different ideas about what marriage is, and what it means. Different ideas about children, fidelity, and everything else you asked about.

I don't believe in marriage. I think it's an antiquated and unnecessary societal construct, that once meant something but doesn't anymore. It's "necessity" ended
with the Feudal times.
The foundation of marriage was around before religion. At least before all the Abrahamic religions, which hijacked every single custom and ritual that was there before them.
I don't believe that fidelity is natural behavior. I believe it is forced behavior and it the root cause behind the end of most relationships.
However, if you are going to promise another person that you will be faithful to them, you had damned well better keep your word.

There is no polite way to say too many questions, is it?..... Break it down, you may get better results

I think a marriage is whatever works for people I'm a monogamoust myself but I don't think it's wrong if other people aren't

I'm opposed to marriage and to having kids. That's for myself, of course; others are free to do as they please in this regard. Jennifer Tilly had a great analogy for relationship and marriage: Imagine you're in a beautiful banquet hall with unlimited delicious food laid out before you. Suddenly you hear the doors slam shut and lock. What had been an exquisite joy has now become your prison, and your primary thought turns to finding a way out. That's how marriage seems. Marriage to me is unnecessary and just adds needless stress to a relationship, and if things go especially sour it is a burdensome obstacle to leaving the relationship. I also think marriage places unreasonable subconscious expectations on people to live happily ever after, while simultaneously making people feel like they've cleared a hurdle so they can slow down and not try so hard in their relationship. I don't need it, and I don't want it. Others may disagree, and that's just fine; I support their right to be wrong. ?

I think agreements with and promises to your spouse are a good idea, as long as conversation and compromise take place first. If the couple agrees on monogamy, great! Be faithful or be prepared for what ever predetermined sanction comes next. Open relationship? Great as well, as long as rules have been negotiated and both (or more...) are following them. Cheating depends on whatever your contract is with your spouse.

Marriage ???!! I don't even want to live at same house w anyone !
I can afford my life . Also , love and intimacy has very litle to do w marriage in my book . I will hate for anyone to HAVE TO SEE MY FACE every morning and every night . Bcz no other choice . I want my lover to choose to see my face . And can't do that if living w someone . There is a price to pay . Yes . I take out my own trash . On snow days , I clean my own drive way , and nobody warms up the car for me . When sick , I make my own trip to welgreens . And the list goes on right ?
I pay this price and I ll pay it 100 x over and over if I had to choose . If I have a lover , someone that I love and care , loyalty is not even a question , given fact . Don't need to see him come home every night to prove to me . Life taught me that u can perhaps control people's shoes and time , but can't control their mind . And I hope nobody wants that anyways ?!
Be w me every x bcz u want to . Ask me , come over , I ll go over , do things w me when u feel and I feel , and I will help u w the litle things of every day living too , no problem ! But no need for big mouth promises for that . People evolve . I hope ! If my lover feels 5 yrs later that now he prefers to have sex w ( whatever , ) or that I walk on us nerves , I don't want a single hr of him living w that agony or me !
Is that makes any sense ? ?

Personally I'm in favor of a monogamous relationship. I hate seeking around . I want honesty and commitment. Besides having my feelings hurt, I also take into account that he could contract a std which I don't want. I've had too many liars in my life. I no longer have time for that bs. Either you want to be with me or you don't. I don't want to be just a booty call either. You don't call me to come over, fuck me, then take off to Europe with another woman for two weeks. I'd rather be alone.

I've always thought marriage should be a ten year contract, subject to renewal. Get married, sign up, discuss whether you want to renew or adjust the terms every ten years. I think it would save a world of acrimony. I think that the contract itself and the commitment it engenders encourages people to stick it out through rough patches. Only reason I think that matters is that long term relationships with other human beings is good for you, and good for society. Plus it covers everyone in case of hospitalization and other emergencies.

My idea of marriage is a contract between two people. If that agreement works for them that's all that counts. I like the idea of an agreement to live by. Other than that I won't criticize anyone else to live however they want as long as it isn't harmful to others.

I believe in marriage, especially if bringing children into the world, as a layer of financial and emotional security and stability. There are exceptions where marriage isn't a good idea, but it's an ideal in our society. Marriage isn't for everyone - and it doesn't always last forever - but the concept is part of the fabric of our society.

Marriage is the expectation, in our modern society. It's our basic family unit, the foundation upon which future generations are built. It is a way to know your roots, family history, allow related elders to share their wisdom, and loving care.

A long term relationship is similar to marriage, except does not offer that layer of security that allows you to know, not just believe, that your partner in love and life will be there for you in the long term, rain or shine. Divorce is difficult and is a good deterrent to bad behavior.

As I tell my clients, a piece of paper (marriage certificate) falls apart in hot water, but it's the true commitment to each other that keeps the couple together.

Honesty and trust is imperative in both marriage and long term relationships. Cheating is when one has to lie to their partner about what they are doing. If the couple is okay with an open relationship or a poly type situation, that is up to the couple and ground rules in their relationship, but if honesty isn't adhered to, then trust is absent, and that can destroy the integrity of a marriage or LTR.

A marriage or LTR doesn't mean either partner can't have friends and enjoy experiences, but being honest and open and making sure that each partner is secure in the relationship is important.

I'm not sure if marriage is an Abrahamic religious concept, but surely not monogamy, with the idea of concubines, but it surely was a way to record the men's lineage.

In regions untouched by Abrahamic religion, until recent times, I think marriage for lineage purposes was used for leaders, but not so much for peasants.

Here in Hawaii for example, from what I understand, the Ali'i (Royal Leaders) married (usually within their own family) to preserve their lineage, but the commoners didn't have marriages as such. Women had babies, and sometimes knew who was the father, maybe not, but it wasn't recorded, no weddings between common couples. Men and women/children lived/slept in separate hale (houses) and children were looked after by women (aunties) and men (uncles) so that it was the village that raised the children. It was a system that worked for them. Once Christianity was introduced, things changed.

I personally believe monogamy contributed a great deal to the survival and evolution of the human race. It's hard to believe that early homo sapiens would have been able to build social structures larger than single family groups if reproduction depended on constant conflict and defense of one's own mates.

I know that's an argument from incredulity but it's been a while since I read anything on the subject. The only reference I can remember at present is in Richard Dawkin's book The God Delusion. I remember him talking about how early humans started forming multifamily groups where the elders could stay at the camp and care for the young while sharing their knowledge and experience potentially
generating new knowledge and ideas. All the while, the women are cooking, crafting, and gathering while the men hunt etc.

All that being said, I believe monogamy, not necessarily marriage are very important to human prosperity. Marriage, as an institution, has nothing but legal benefits such as: clarifying financial obligations and issues of inheritance.

IMO like anything else in life the payout is equivalent to the effort you put in. If you can find someone and build a life together sticking with it through the good and the bad, at the end you'll tend to find more than someone who jumps around or ends up alone. Standing by someone over a lifetime is hard, and I believe we live in a society where we try to justify being weak instead of calling it what it is and expecting more from yourself.

I spent 20 yrs with one partner but did not marry, did not believe in institutions. I believe that stability benefitted our sons. We both came from one parent families and the parenting wasn't good. We made a concious decision to stay together for our boys. When they became men it was the natural time to split. We were both different people then. 8 years later and in 2 wks time she gets married to her new partner. I'm invited. Seems marriage was something she always wanted. ?

Marriage is when two people decide to become a family, both emotionally and legally. This can include more than two people in some cases, I suppose, but it currently subtracts the word "legally" from the equation.
For me, monogamy is essential. I understand and accept that there are other people who have different views on what is right for them.
Cheating is when someone consciously and deliberately breaks trust with a partner.
A non-marriage long term relationship should not have any bearing upon the freedom to enjoy the friendship of others within the parameters agreed upon at the onset of the relationship.

Does the foundation of marriage originate from early Abrahamic religions? There is evidence that seems to support this, however I don't know for sure. Not knowing for sure doesn't bother me.

there is no one answer; different things work for different people. but no, the foundation of marriage does not originate from early abrahamic religions. it originates pre-hominid, and there are other monogamous species. the ceremony may have developed later of course! through most of recorded history, marriage has been not a religious arrangement or a romantic arrangement but an economic one, designed to combine fortunes of houses and nations.

g

p.s. a strictly monogamous marriage does not have to disallow friendships.

This is a multi level question. Will answer it when I get home.

Yeah monogamy is boss and people who cheat have poor self control and indulgent attitudes. If you want to be with someone else, break up with them don't hurt them even further by causing them emotional harm. As for people who are in polyamorous relationships, feel free to do it with people who want that but don't raise a family in it. Children need a strong mother and father figure and good strong family life. Whether that is done through a straight or gay relationship is fine but they need those 2 kinds of people in their life someone soft and someone strong. If you have kids and cheat well fuck you, family comes before everything.

I'm kind of with Roseanne Barr on this one (even if we disagree on everything else). Marriage is fine as long as my partner doesn't believe that my ovaries are a homing device. "Honey - where's my socks?" "Honey, where's my keys?" And of course, I would want to marry - as I did in my very brief marriage - a chef or at least a good cook. I don't mind cleaning if he'll do the cooking. Marriage seems to me the most individual of choices and legislated by the most ridiculous of institutional interference.

With. don’t know. Lying. Polyamory does. Have no idea.