Reality: at least a third of people in the west play with others, even when their relationship is perfect. We have more to learn about humans.

The evil treatment of women gets no pass from me just because she wants to experience life before death.

margaret mead described the life of 3 marriages: to about 26, 26 to about 48 (kids), 50+.

I was raised by a partnership that has lasted perpetually. I can’t find much else in this life that is more precious to me than the devotion and honor my father has given to my mother and the honor and devotion she has given to him. It makes me near tear up to think of how beautifully they show what human beings can do. I want to care and be cared for by an individual. One that I can trust will always be there for me and I for them. It is just such a gorgeous aspect of this life. Belief in one another. And of course that dangerous word. Trust.

Thanks for the post. It’s a good one.

There is nothing wrong in ending a serious relationship it is not providing both persons with a reasonable quality of life. But, what every you do, do it openly and honestly.

Serial monogamy, like most relationships is, to my mind, natural only if a conscious choice. I do not believe in a genetically driven, natural approach to sexuality that is somehow tied to social mores. I believe we determine, as individuals with our partner or partners through honest discussion what best meets the individual and couples needs. This means for some a monogamous relationship that meets changes as a relationship and in turn changes it's nature to persevere, for others it means serial monogamy, and for others it means polygamy, or a dozen other things. What is significant to society in general, worldwide, is that women are becoming increasingly empowered to assert their sexuality. How this will impact things I am anxious to discover.

If I believe in serial monogamy and I meet someone with whom I fall in "love" then it should not bother me in the least if the other person suddenly informs me that it is all over and time for her to move on. The old notion of monogamy gave rise to illusions of "forever." Why should anyone feel bound to be with another throughout his or her life to the exclusion of all others, unless that is what both parties wish and it works for them.

Not going to lie, fuck this article. All I'm reading here is justification for people shitting on others they made a promise to and then broke. Long term monogamy is hard and takes effort and I've seen it at the end, it's worth it. Nobody wants to put in the time or effort when it gets tough so they bail on people they supposedly loved but didn't mind leaving heartbroken (yes, me).

If two people want to create a marriage contract that requires a renewal every 5 years go for it. Going in with eyes wide open is one thing and means you both intend on leaving outs. If you promise that you'll be with someone until death and then a few years later decide "nope, not going to do that", you're justifying having a weak-ass character to the people you promised the most too.

So that's my problem! lol

That seems to be new normal, for sure. US people today typically have monogamous relationships as long as they can, until one of the partners becomes disillusioned, unhappy, or cheats, then they each find new monogamous partners.

Marriage was created in agricultural societies as a form of social control.

Wonderful article. And since we live to much later ages now, it makes sense. People change and what they need can change

Our ancient ancestors usually just died before things got too monotonous. I think they had the right idea. ?

Personally the best time of my life was when I was married. The relationship ended only because she passed away. We were together for about 20 years and married for about 15 years. After about a year after her death I tried dating again, but nothing did it for me. It has now been almost 3 years since her death and I am now in a relationship with an amazing woman. We are getting ready to move in together. I have always been a monogamous person. I prefer to be with one person.

Mostly, I agree, though I wish it weren't so.

This is a great topic! I've come to the belief that our own insecurities drive us to demand all of another's attention. If we don't get it we tend to feel inadequate. Also the more "secure" we feel, the lazier we tend to become. I prefer relationships that make me work to keep them going. And since permanence is not in the vocabulary, I can reexamine when a change is the healthier option.

I largely agree with the points in the article; however-children complicate the process. They take a long time to mature, our "age of majority" (18-21, typically, depending on where you live) is probably woefully under the mark, as our moral centers are not yet fully developed at that tender age.

That said, humans often live twice the life-span we used to (we used to be done at 40, now 80 is not an unreasonable life-span). So serial monogamy makes a certain amount of biological sense. The "7-year itch" for example, is a real thing, in that in that space of time, one's philosophical and emotional stance can change significantly. One of the reasons people have extra-marital affairs, is that they feel some part of their being which is important to them, goes unexpressed.