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Can any of the gentleman here on the site who are "open to meeting women " give me some sort of an idea of what a first date would be like with you?

Cutiebeauty 9 Sep 5

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I think the date is up to the woman. She usually makes the suggestion, or counter suggestion.

Most cis hetero men don't care so much about the date itself..they usually see it as something to get over with as quickly as possible so they can seduce the women asap.

That's why they usually don't read women's profiles either-going for the youngest, hottest woman they can find.

Sadly , very true . They seem to feel , they've purchased sex , and are determined to get their money's worth . The concept behind a date used to be , an opportunity to get to know one another . The prostitutes decided to gentrify their profession , so decided to call what they do a date . Men chose to reverse the sentiment . What used to be an opportunity to get to know someone , is now considered payment for sex , by many men . And they wonder why so many women turn them down .

@birdingnut I understand your post here, but I wanted to get some sort of idea of what they thought was a good first date, and I got some really disappointing answers . Although a few were pretty good ?

@Cast1es yes, getting to know one another, that's what I intended here, not a hookup. Hookups I can get quite easily in this perverted world but I'm not looking for that.


First date -- aka meet and greet -- a dance wherein each is trying to determine why the other is on the market and just how weird a person they are. Usually at a coffee shop/mall/pastry shop, limited to an hour or two at most. Usually doesn't end up w/ more than a casual hug.

2nd date -- maybe hit a museum, show, play, concert, dinner etc. - might end up w/ a kiss - again for safeties sake, each arrives in their own transportation. Between the first and 2nd dates - Googling of the person to ensure bona-fides is a safe bet along w/ exchanges of emails, phone calls to show interest and find talking points, common ground, common likes/dislikes etc.

Don't forget, you are probably not the only person he's dating -- and he's probably not the only one you are dating either... It might be a bit difficult to find mutually open dates/times for dates.

That's what this gentleman would do --


Oh my! A real gentleman, how refreshing. ?


Great question !!!!!... It could go like this... Meet up in a public place where conversation can flow pleasantly, something simple like a coffee shop. The goal is to spend few minutes over coffee and get out of the way the possibility of any deal breaker. There are many reasons why things would not work and the only way to know is to spend that brief time. If both like what they see and the conversation flow then right there on the spot, plans for the next step will happen naturally. If not then no harm done and both can go back to their lifes.


@admin please issue a warning to @meremortal he is harassing me

I've written that one off as toxic. Seems to have a little bit too much selective offense over innocuous comments & posts made by women. Keeps it up and he'll only be talking to men on here.

@Qualia I agree, I've gotten about 15 private messages from women supporting me, and none will consider him for any type of relationship. It's actually really sad.

@Cutiebeauty I've blocked him. He's too freaking nasty.

@Qualia I agree 100 % , and blocked him , before seeing that others had as well . He can make all the abusive remarks he wants to . He won't have an audience to read it .


I would take you to something like a free concert in the park, or free movie in the park, something like that where we can also chat a bit. Before or after go eat at either a nice high end restaurant in Manhattan, or anywhere else you would like.

But alas, I'm here for community. ?

That's sounds like an excellent date, I would do that!

@Cutiebeauty well... If you want, we could meet up in the Bronx somewhere and I'll take you out on a platonic date. ?

@sellinger yeah sure, send me a private message with the time and place. I know the Bronx very well ?


Would meet at an outside setting for a cocktail or beer Then if chemistry was right after nice conversation would walk to dancing place with live music. Hopefully from there would arrange future date.


A first date , should be in a safe place . It does not have to be expensive , in fact , I'd feel better if it was free or close to free . If you've never met before , I'd suggest meeting at an indoor mall , walking around the mall , and perhaps setting in the food court to chat and maybe getting a coffee or an ice cream . It's a relatively safe place , well populated , well lite , you can talk to one another and learn about each other . If you do not feel safe , there is CCTV , there is mall security to turn to . You can get an escort to your car .


Although "open to meeting women" is selected, I am guessing my chances of actually meeting a woman from this website is as likely as being struck by lightning while working out at in the basement weight room at the YMCA. In the past, my most pleasant "date" scenario would include great food then a long walk by the river, as the sun sets revealing the reflecting light from the refinery shimmer on the fast moving currents of the river, then a pleasant walk and hours of honest and open talk as we traverse the path - by the pet cemetery - past a historic structure slated for destruction, by a bog of rotting plants. - - -


A hike or kayak outing, probably with a meetup group. A low pressure setting where there is ample opportunity to interact if things are going well or to just enjoy the outing if things don't click.

This sounds like a good first date, very thoughtful


I love to go on dates in which we have a chance to talk to each other and take in a change of scenery--a fair or carnival, for example. And I love to dance, so maybe if music breaks out... 🙂

This sounds very nice and romantic thx


Arby's and off to the sack.

Pick up a whore for that, I'm no slut ??

@Redcupcoffee Now that's a vivid metaphor!


No, I can't. For several reasons--first, I'm way too old for you to be interested in me, so it wouldn't really matter, and second--I haven't been on a date since 1981 (married for 35 years) so I would have no idea what to do.


I'm open to meeting women but put community on here 'cos there's nobody remotely close to me to even think about so..........

A first date with me would be nice surroundings, and what that is depends on the person, and lots of chat. If can't talk we can't.......anything 🙂


Omg this thread was tragic and fucking hilarious in equal measure. Thanks so much for that, I think I peed my pants a little bit???????????


Go to a nice place of your choice with the one suggestion, no loud music so we could talk for as long as possible. Talking can take us from nowhere to anywhere and anything in between.


The problem with this post I think stems from people’s past experience with being catfished on dating sites @cutiebeauty i think your short profile, youthful, beautiful picture and playful post gave some people a catfish red-flag/vibe.
There’s nothing wrong with being beautiful and young, but cat fishing is so common.
I think there is an average age of 48 on this site and I think some might be a bit serious, a bit jaded, and probably have lost the patience and will to flirt. It kind of happens to the over 40s.

Livia Level 6 Sep 8, 2018

There is no problem with my post here since I have a date later today with a nice man. ?

I have the same suspicion.... and I know some others that do as well.

@maturin1919 yup, yup.

I don't know where you get off making unfounded accusations against a new member here without any proof. I just got home from a platonic date with @cutiebeauty aka Kaitlin, and she is who she appears to be. Blah you guys are acting like believers and thiests in that you believe she is catfishing without evidence. Give the girl a break. @sirena

@sellinger that's great. The question by OP is still a bit fishy. You can ask potential interests this question by message..or you can make a post asking guys to compete for you.

The chick in the article below was real too...


@Sirena really? Even in the face of hard evidence, you still believe? Even including a link to your own personal Bible. Wow!!

@sellinger wut? ? a bit defensive... chillax.
You read what I wrote or the article at all?
Great, she's real. Congratulations. I'm talking motives. But it's none of my business, I'm nowhere near you guys and I wouldn't fall for dick measuring tactics. It's too Reality TV for my taste.
"Different strokes for different folks."

@maturin1919 I like your Theory. There was talk about hard evidence... can't wait to see the pictures.

@sellinger hold on. Read my post. I wrote an explanation regarding why some had been mean to her. There was no “accusation” . The OP was a young woman reaching out, but I know what older members have been through and was picking up on the thought behind some of their reactions.
So take the word “accuse” and stick it up your back side, because it’s going spare. Having said that I am really glad you guys had a great date, and I am pleased for her that she has proven people wrong and can give them the bird.

@Sirena yes, I read the article you provided, I see your point, sort of. That was supposedly a social experiment, the men were contacted by private message.
This is a public post for all to read, and no place and time to meet is indicated here.
It's essentially a poll asking what men consider a good first date.. She promised nothing here.


I'd pick something to do together based on common interests. I'd honestly, probably be nervous, miss some cues etc. But basically I just tend to wing it. I do like to take people places that they haven't been before, introduce them to new music or activities.

For a first date I'd suggest dinner and a movie. I'm not really a coffee drinker. Second date, I'm gonna steal the festival idea from the comments.


Coffee and tea or cocoa. Comfortable place to talk and find out mutual thoughts and beliefs.

Hypothetically. You are too young, but I am sure very nice and I did just that with a woman I met here. If I got involved in my kids' lives I would aim you toward the boys. Sorry. And best wishes.


With 26 years and 450 miles between us, I would have to take this as a purely hypothetical question. Regrettably of course.


I meant like dinner and movie, or playing pool in a nice bar, ice skating, etc. Come on guys, be creative...


I'm old school mostly because I'm old so in my day a gentleman would find out what a lady likes to do and then try to plan something around her interest so it's kind of subjective depending on the person you're going out with

Yes isn't it sad that men ignore what women want?

@Cutiebeauty never forget that relationships are a two-way street

@Drsmash253 yes, but isn't it sad that men ignore what women want, just thought I would repeat that since you ignored it the first time...

@Cutiebeauty I would find the dysfunction and the difference in the way that the two Sexes function with each other very dysfunctional yes I know that doesn't quite come out and blatantly answer your question because again I feel that both men and women have a serious problem in relationships that's why most of them don't work out I'm just trying to play the middle ground here because I don't want to seem sexist on the other hand I don't want to seem like I'm bashing men because there are a lot of good men out there


Laughs and teasing. Lots of both

No thx, I do that with my gfs ?


Something simple, like dinner somewhere we both like

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