Three time loser here. Divorce is never easy, but you do get through it, and it sounds like you are. I can't tell you when you'll feel better, as I am still struggling with my own past and it's over a decade since my last divorce, but I can tell you that you have to treat yourself well. And savor every day. I wish you well!

Happy for the updates. Sounds like you're progressing/recovering normally. My ex fucked me over big time financially, but the abandonment was far more painful than the financial losses. It's almost a year now. Some days are better than others but it has gotten much easier. Getting my sad sack self out of New York was the best decision for me and really facilitated my healing.

I love the last update! I'm not at the end of mine yet and hell will break lose soon.
Cheers and good luck! ?

I've been through two divorces and it is never fun. Don't hesitate to talk on here. Folks here are always helpful. If you've made it through the past year and all of the pitfalls that you related, you're doing really well. You're stronger than you think. I wish you all the best.

You are never a burden. Divorce sucks. Mine happened exactly two weeks after I got a vasectomy for our 5 year anniversary (she had mental health issues and couldn't consider children as a possible outcome, to the point it was bad enough to make me alter myself that way). It sounds like you have it worse, to be perfectly honest.

But from what you've written, it sounds like you're handling it extremely well, considering all of the horse manure you've had to muck. I'm proud of you and your progress. Might not mean anything coming from Captain Random, but just know there are strangers out there rooting for you. You matter. It will take time, but given how well you've handled it so far, I'm reasonably confident you'll be better off in the long run, and it probably won't take you as long as it took me to recover.

From reading all the comments, it sounds like he was a piece of shit when you married him. How long were you married? Got kids? What do you do for work?

If your life is not getting better as you are getting older, you are fucking up.

It does get better. That much I know. Unfortunately, it's takes as long as it takes.
It's different for everyone.
Wish I could meet you for a few drinks and some commiseration, too.
I promise I would make you laugh. I'm good at that.
You're going to be okay. It might not feel like it right this minute, but you WILL
be okay.

It takes some time and healing. Not everyone is the same. For some, it's better to talk it out and for others - out of sight, out of mind. Do what works for you. I found a divorce meetup group, but realized I was more ready to move on and not talk about it. Making new friends, staying in touch with the old, and traveling helps me. There is no right answer. but what you are experiencing is perfectly normal.

I can't give you any answers about the future, but solidarity I can give. In a very similar boat right now. While he's tanking both of our credit. Getting divorced sucks, being rid of that asshat will be worth it.

It took me about 1 1/2 years to get my finances back together. We got divorced when I was stationed overseas and it was much easier for her to get representation. Of course the kids went with her and she had my family's sympathy. She went on to have a couple other failed marriages and a boyfriend die; I've definitely come out ahead.

4 years and counting. I'm not sure if I'll ever be all right and sometimes I still have trouble thinking about it. I try to distract myself with hobbies but I'm a hard introvert so going out and partying and drinking aren't my cup of tea either and I wish it was because that'd be easier. Movies, reading, video games, working out, sleep, and work, that's 95% of my life right there. Being a minimalist alone and low expenses makes finances & saving easier, but it's sometimes painfully lonely.

Best thing I can say is to let go of how you think you should feel, and how long it will take you to feel better and just let yourself feel. Fill your time with distractions and don't worry about anything you don't need too. It'll get easier, but I don't know if the heart break ever clears up. Good luck.

Holy moly!
I've read down through all the posts here. I'd no idea people could be this cruel to each other. While I went through it twice, (yep... I'm on my 3rd marriage). Both were somewhat traumatic, but nothing like I'm reading here. I really hope everyone who posted here finds peace and serenity.

em still technically homeless no job brain injury from a failed suicide attempt and lonely however you appear to be dealing fine its just the constant stream of negative situations that will be leaving you questioning things.Ild like to be able to promise you it gets better but we both know thats not life try and find stuff that gives you positive emotions no matter how small or insignificant to what you have to deal with day to day and try and have no contact with the ex no good will come of that for you good luck

you're not doing poorly in your decision making... just wanted you to read that line again.