Agnostic.com

7 2

I think I may be done with dating sites. I think the idea of internet dating is a good idea. The problem is people. I have had a few interactions through site messengers. I'm sure its me, like most, it is hard to convey emotion/ideas/anything through written messages. Well, at least these days. I think that whats really messing with me is being ghosted after a few messages. I get it. I have been known to be sarcastic, irreverent, and crass. Its part of my charm. 😂

So, I set aside my keyboard and will go old school and meet that special someone at an event, bar, or walking through the grocery store ramming my cart into a pretty gals cart as an icebreaker. (Thank you 80s sitcoms for the idea)

Now, I say that, but will entertain any promising internet meet up...I'm fickle that way.

Chucky65 4 Sep 20
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

7 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

0

I've tried online dating in the past. I would say that I had mixed results, and I'm still single, so none of them worked out. I don't know; I guess it's different for everyone. You have to know your own comfort level as far as meeting people. Me, I prefer not to go to bars alone, that only invites unwanted pickup lines. And I haven't seen any interesting guys in the supermarket; the ones pushing carts with kids in them are especially no-gos and aren't even interesting to me (for the most part, they are probably married anyway, or they could be divorced. Still... no bueno). Hope it's a lot different for you though.

0

I can totally relate to your situation. I have horrible luck with online dating. I never know what to say in the profile and probably end up making myself look like an idiot. I hardly ever get messages and the ones that I do get don't last long. I haven't been able to get out all that much as of recently, but I will definitely have to step that up. However, I cannot stand the bar scene and clubs are just too loud. I wish you the best of luck in your search.

Thanks! Good luck to you too.

For me it would be better to stay away from alcohol like in a bar or club. I don't get mean, but I am quite irreverent and slightly sarcastic when alcohol hits my brain. That said, there is a bar a couple blocks from me that a friend coaxed me into going. I'm heading there later this evening. Here's to a new adventure.

@Chucky65 Have fun

0

Why do many young guys say in their profiles that they have sarcastic humor? I noticed this trend in the Plenty of Fish dating website forum, with young guys asking for help because they get no replies.

Sarcasm is defined as: 1. Harsh or bitter derision or irony; 2. A sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remarks; 3. Bitterness, ridicule and jeer. (Dictionary.com)

“Sarcasm is really just hostility disguised as humor,” said Clifford N. Lazarus, Ph.D. “If you want to be happier and improve your relationships, cut out sarcasm since sarcasm is actually hostility disguised as humor. Despite smiling outwardly, most people who receive sarcastic comments feel put down and usually think the sarcastic person is a jerk.” (From: “Think Sarcasm is Funny? Think Again.” by Clifford N. Lazarus, Ph.D., Think Well, June 26, 2012.)

Perhaps young men aspire to be like “the meathead clowns floating through the films of today,” said Linda Holmes in “Bad News, Men: You’re Not Very Charming” in The Atlantic on May 28, 2013.

Why do young men think sarcastic humor is positive? This baffles me. What are your thoughts?

Sarcastic humor is fine with people that know you well. But it usually does not come across well via email especially when communicating with a stranger.

@Dhiltong I can attest to that. I can be sarcastic more often than not. I do have that in my profile and I'm older...well old enough to know better. For me, letting people know upfront is best. Nobody needs to be shocked a few months down the road. In my case it would take only a few hours (thats about all I'm good for) for someone to pick up on my buffoonery.

@Dhiltong it has bitten me more than once.

3

Online dating can only really work for those who can communicate effectively through their writing skills. Some people are just better in person and need to focus on meeting people in the settings you mentioned. It's not for everyone, but you seem to be able to get yourself and your personality across in your words, so I say stick with it for a while. It can take a while and needs some experience in knowing what to say and how to say things so they are not misunderstood by others. Good luck to you.

3

Yes I just smoked, so perhaps that’s why only these words stood out: “the problem is people..” ...simply a tool”. Made me laugh ?

1

The internet and online dating sites are simply a tool for people to use. If someone is not willing to meet you in person, or if that's not a possibility, the relationship is not a relationship and never will be.

I may be too old to fully appreciate dating sites. Maybe I'm too old fashioned.?

@Chucky65 don't feel alone! sometimes I feel like I'm too old to date period. It was no fun getting back out there in the dating world after two and a half decades. If anybody asks me for any dating advice I would mention that in the dating world I can't find my ass even if I use both hands

0

Hi, Chucky,

Meeting in person is best, for sure.

But if you want a backup, this website has a bit of a learning curve, so here's some info, in case you need it.

For members who are open to dating, certain thumbnails and profiles have a heart symbol on them with a percentage. This identifies which members are open to dating, and the percent shows approximately how compatible others are with them.

You gain website points by answering all the profile questions and writing a bio, which also earns website points, and helps other members get to know you.

Commenting on posts and writing your own posts earns more points. At level two you can private message people, and at level eight you get an agnostic T-shirt.

If you want to date, the website uses profile algorithms to find member matches, so the more details one includes, the better the match.

Many people prefer to see a written profile talking about interests, hobbies, and backgrounds that can be quickly perused to find others with similar interests..

In case you didn't know yet, to find members near you, click on the "Browse" button at the top of the page, then on "Members," and enter your preferred search parameters.
Click on the "Discuss" button, then "Nearby" to find members near you also.
Or click on the "About" button at the top left of the page to find links to FAQ or the website tutorial.
Points are now being given to level 3+ members who chat. You can see chat rooms on the group main page or at [agnostic.com].

I get the machinations of the sites. What bothers me is getting ghosted after conversations in the messengers. I get that I put my foot in mouth on the regular. I'm not for everyone and not everyone is for me. I think my issue may be with courtesy. A simple, "we may not be a good " would be better than being ignored after communicating back and forth. Im all good with no reply after my initial message. That makes sense to me.

On a side note. C'mon level 8...daddy wants a tshirt.

@Chucky65 I immediately BLOCK any man who is rude, crude, or lewd to either me or anyone else. Also those who say they like "hook ups," are married but still wanting to date, are polyamorous, or in an "open relationship."

If a man is snarky and nasty to a strange woman on a dating website I want him blocked and out of dating consideration. I only talk to men who are kind, considerate and respectful, since they are the only ones I'd EVER want in my life.

@birdingnut as you should. Bad manners are never in good taste.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:183120
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.