Thought this was fun in a crazy news week.
“HI GUYS, JESUS HERE

Howdy all. I'm Jesus. Accepting me as your Lord and saviour is the most important thing you will ever do in your entire life. But you MUST have faith so I didn't want to make it too easy for you. All religions need faith, right?

So I worked in a few diversions to put you off track. First, of course, was the old virgin birth chestnut followed by the "died and was resurrected" finale. Several fake gods used these story-lines before me, so I added them just to plant a grain of doubt.

Worked a treat. These stories made me authentic to some people, and suspicious to others, perfect! Hahaha.

It would have been a no-brainer if I'd written my own scripture, so I came up with a better idea. First, I decided not to write a thing, not a single word, and I would have all the stories about me written in a foreign language so no locals understood them.

But it needed to be a bit trickier, so I made sure NOTHING was written about me at all until I'd been dead for 50 years. I used four different authors that couldn't be identified so no smart-arsed historians could work out if the authors actually knew me (which they didn't!) LMAO.

They were the basic diversions but I put in a lot more snippets for the doubters to grab hold of. I put in a few really dumb things that no god would do, like cursing a fig tree for not bearing fruit, wait for it, out of season! MUAHA

I realised I needed something to give people doubts thousands of years later. Took me a while to figure this one out but I did it and it was brill. I just told the locals that I'd return before they all died. The locals didn't twig it of course because they were dead but a couple of thousand years later, anyone could figure it out! ROTFLMFAO.

I've gotta shoot off now but remember, with faith, you can believe anything! Hahahaha, oh Dad, I think I'm having a heart attack!”

By Bill Favell on Facebook.