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Something I find interesting, members on here trying to encourage conformity without realizing it. Yes I do not have a profile picture here and 98% of the time also do not have one on my facebook either. I don't understand the need of some members to point out well everyone else here is doing it! or has a pic! to try to sway me to add a picture. That lame peer pressure did not work as a teenager, it certainly will not work now. Why can people not respect one's choice not to have a picture posted? Must we all be walking clones and act in unison? This is just something that has frustrated me recently on social media.

demifeministgal 8 Oct 3
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11 comments

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I don’t care if you have one or not

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I don't see why it is a big deal if someone isn't using their real face. There are many reasons why someone would want to maintain a bit of anonymity.

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You can post an image of roadkill as a profile pic if you want, I personally don't care, BUT, having said that, if you're open to meeting people for potential dating or whatever social interaction is your goal, it's just considerate to let them see who they're engaging with by including a pic or two somewhere in your gallery.

It's consideration, not conformity.

It is not my goal. I entered that I am open to it on my profile. But perhaps I should remove it because I literally come here for community, support and advice and nothing romantic. Thoughts?

@demifeministgal Then I'd suggest here for community just to avoid any confusion.

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I like your doggy picture. It is your prerogative to put up as much or as little as you feel comfortable with on your profile. I must say I do find the blank faces on some of the other icons a bit creepy looking, and think they could come up with a picture of something a bit more interesting that a cypher.....but that probably says more about me than them. It took me a little while to post my own picture and then another while before I put some photos of my family up on my home page. Nobody tried to pressure me, I just did it when I felt comfortable....no really personal details divulged. I don’t think you should feel any pressure to go against your own instincts and whoever is trying to do so should stop.

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You're here to date but you refuse to show your face because you don't like childhood peer pressure?
You sound like a 50 year old guy living in a van with free candy printed on the side.

Blocked.

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I’ve never done that, nor is it my business.

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Whatever floats your boat.

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I too hate conformity so I understand your frustration. If dating is a goal on this site then I think a pic/photo is probably an expectation based on curiosity rather than conformity. 😀

It is not my goal. I entered that I am open to it on my profile. But perhaps I should remove it because I literally come here for community, support and advice and nothing romantic.

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It's your choice. And that's really all you need to say about it. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

I've had to explain it to multiple guys in private messages here. One of which got upset with me so as a fck you to him I posted the current pic I have. Such entitlement from strangers annoys me... hey post a pic or send a pic to me NOW! Um NO. Who the fck are you buddy?

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I don't think people feel you have to post a picture of yourself. I think some people just find it interesting that a number of people don't post one. I can see more reason for using a pseudonym, but this is a pretty easygoing site in general and most people just accept what you want to share.

Given the ability to perform searches on images these days, it can be as important as a pseudonym, especially if one has their real name and real photo on some other web site (like where it might be required for work).

@bingst It depends on how strongly you feel about your privacy. I am sure my name and address and probably my photograph are on file all over the place, but since I am an unimportant elderly person with no money, it doesn't bother me too much. I think that for me, the advantages of our current interconnectedness outweigh the disadvantages. For other people it may be different.

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i have never seen anyone publicly asking others to do that except in one group. i can't speak for what people ask in private messages. now, if you're on the dating side of this site, it's natural to want some info. if not, it's nobody's business how much or little you choose to share.

g

What would constitute as being on the dating side of this site though? Actively being part of singles or dating chat groups? Or simply having stated that I am open to dating? I ask about the latter, because perhaps I should remove that as an option of what I am open to on my profile.

@demifeministgal either of those. if you say you are open to dating, you can expect to be asked questions! it's natural. some people don't know what proper boundaries are, but that's true anywhere. i was solicited recently to tell ALL about myself, and not only does my profile clearly say i am here for the community, but i mentioned to the guy i was making dinner for my GUY, and that i was NOT AVAILABLE, and TAKEN, and he still wanted to be my "very close friend." i told him off. i didn't even have to block him. he hasn't bothered me since i told him off. so there will still be clueless folks, perhaps, but things should ease up if you take off the bit about being open to dating. hey, if you meet someone and you're compatible and both available, you can still date even if you don't announce it on your profile, right?

g

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