What are your views on polygamy?
Origami is pretty neat...oh, polygamy....I had a lawyer friend go through the reasons why polygamy is such a problem...we don't have a legal system that weighs the rights of multiple partners...so can a second wife sue the first wife for custody of the a child the first wife gave birth to? Things like that is where polygamy becomes a problem, whether it is consensual or not...personally, it is up to the people what type of life they want to live...but if they aren't protected by the law, that does become a problem.
Mark Twain said that he went to Utah in the 1835, to specifically argue the then Mormon practice of Polygamy. He said (paraphrasing) that after a few weeks there, all the polygamous women he met were so unattractive , he was inclined to give all their husbands a reward. His wording was much more .. umm, eloquent [deseretnews.com] Of course, in the 1800's, there was no social security, welfare services etc, so any single woman ( and there were plenty of widows) was at the mercy of society in a big way. At least the Mormons didn't ostracise or mistreat unmarried women like [dailymail.co.uk]
monogamy is best
@Redcupcoffee
It works for me. And I would be more than happy to discontinue a relationship with someone who’s not.
Well, if it's me with three wives okay. But a woman with three husbands, that would be wild. I don't think a woman could tolerate three husbands...they barely tolerate one
I was told that it is usually a bad way to raise children. Am I wrong?
@Redcupcoffee polygamy is about a lot more than what folk do in the bedroom
I'm not interested. Seems like most of the conversations, below, are talking about 3 people. Poly could mean a great many people, too. So where's the boundry drawn? To me, poly is nothing but the human rationalization of cheating. But, that's just me.
Any relationship can only be as healthy as it's least healthy member...
And it it very difficult to find healthy, compatible, and mutually attractive mates.
Let alone ones who are also erotically, romantically, and philosophically compatible.
Any next person to come along has to fit in the existing relationship structure.
There has to be even more communication, personal growth, intimacy and vulnerability... And these things are hard.
That is why it is often hard... to be any variation of poly.
Healthy; in this instance meaning mental, emotional, relational health... Although physical health does play a significant role in each of those.
Attractive; meaning totality of biochemical, romantic, erotic desirability to that specific person.
I remember hearing a song by an African who had some experience with this. He sang "Polygamy is not for everybody". I imagine it could only work out with committed people. Seems like the women involved would be only getting a share of the man's attention. That might not be a good thing.
Riskier to contract and spread STDs. ....confusing for children of the several parents half siblings ...Daddys called "uncles" Aunts called mommies. ...DNA tests necessary to confirm paternity with polygamous moms. ...enables patriarchal male entitlement by women agreeing to this emotional minefield. ...my Uncle was a bigamist but never arrested in Paris or Des Moines. ....I HAVE Atheist cousins from his marriages so I am partly grateful. ...he "married" Korean girl very late in life she a teen he in his '70's. ...she inherited his fortune not his 4 sons or 1st 2 widows he's buried @Pearl Harbor one of many Sailors I'm my Navy tradition
I don't mind short people myself. I mean im not perfect as im dylsexic.
Is it a proposition that you are considering or are you considering it as a lifestyle choice? IMHO I am finding that as time goes on, people are less inclined to criticise you for your lifestyle choices.
What is your opinion? I do not think it works well in majority of relationship. Most men and women are possessive and will definitely not like sharing their partners. But you can always fall for someone whether you are married or not. That is more like an accidental relationship. By that I mean you do not plan for that relationship. So if you are already married and you get attracted to or start to have feelings toward someone, will that qualify polygamous even if the two person do not make it open to each other about their feelings.
What you describe sounds like an affair -- cheating
Polyamory is very different from what we all know as polygamy as typically practiced by Mormons.
In polyamory EVERYBODY who is in that poly relationship is open, honest, forthright, in view of all, not hiding, not sneaking, not lying, utilizing their own relationship rules regarding dating, sex, affection, household maintenance, etc. etc. which have been discussed extensively before taking the dive into opening up the relationship for multiple loves.
I worked with a guy who had four live in partners. It seemed to work for him. That being said, there are numerous cases in which polygamy involved minors, incest and domination.
There are TENS, if not HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS more cases every years in which monogamy involved minors, incest and domination, right?
@BlueWave Yah. I would think so. I was specifically thinking of the "old school" Mormon sects in rural Utah. The LDS church has now officially banned polygamy. However, in these old sects the wifes are often under age, are just expected to marry certain men and not given a choice, and are expected to be subservient. It is, or at least was, a bit of a stand off between authorities and human services Vs these Mormon sects.
I have a hard enough time keeping one person around, not lookinf for more than that but if yoy can make it work go for it
If it rocks the boat of all involved, why not?
But polygamy, understood by all and enjoyed by all, is very different from deception.
If EVERYONE INVOLVED is happy, yes - but don't use polygamy as an excuse to 'play around' if your partner believes you are monogamous, and that was the basis of your relationship with them.
Polygamy, traditionally in our country, as practiced by Mormons, is one man with multiple wives. Polyamory is very different. It could be four women living in the same house all in a romantic relationship with each other and no men. There are multiple combinations of how a polyamorous relationship would work. And yes, you are right, in polyamory, there is not supposed to be any sneaking and deception involved.