I Just make christmas about family getting together, adults generally butt out and make it about the children having fun, getting little gifts, feel good time for family. We don't put any emphasis on santa, jesus, or religion. Just a fun time for family.

When I was a young mother, I chose to redefine the holiday in such a way that didn't exclude my daughters from participating in it with family and friends. I, myself, have fond memories of it as a child, the lights, the smells, the anticipation of all the specialties and family reunion, the music. So, take the religious aspect aside, there's a cultural aspect that I chose to redefine. I expanded on the Jewish Festival of Lights and started the season off with Santa Lucia day where my daughters wore spruce crowns with candles and brought me special Lucia buns and cocoa at the crack of dawn. We made gifts for one another and exchanged them on the first day of Kwanza. We used a menorah (rather than an advent wreath) and played dreidel. We decorated our Tree of Life with items that represented light or life-- birds nests, fruit and nuts, popcorn chains with cranberries, snowflakes, leaves, flowers--you get the picture. We didn't focus on santa or other commercial icons, but did a lot with faeries and elves (Santa in our home was Good King Winceslas). I read them stories about love and endurance and winter and light and kept those books exclusively for that season. When they were old enough, we discussed the three kings who had followed a star and the drummer boy who had given the only gift he had to please a newborn and even who people thought that baby was and why. Gave us an opportunity to discuss symbolism and astrology and history and to learn about religions, including paganism. I wanted my children to have the magic and fantasy of the season and a solid impartial foundation from which to develop their own views. So, rather than cut it all out (I mean, they were already vegan home schoolers) and have them be excluded from it on a larger scale and feel awkward with family and friends, this was the path I chose. I also taught them to say "Happy Holidays", or "Blessings" in response to the generic 'Merry Christmas', although when they got older, I taught them that it was OK to say, "Well, thanks, but I'm not Christian. Please have a nice one yourself, though." Good luck.

Xmas is about family and tradition not religion to me. I never perpetuated the Santa myth. My kids knew exactly where the gifts were coming from. My children are very fortunate all year round and they know it. I do not go all out on Xmas.. it’s focused on community and family. I didn’t read them mythical buybull stories or Santa stories either

Who is this "we" you speak of? My parents were the ones who instilled in us that we were indeed poorer than some and richer than others when it came to their financial ability to provide anything, at Christmas or any other time of the year. We believed in Santa but the Santa that was presented by them: a fun character that liked to give out presents during the winter holidays. We knew it was our parents from a very early age, so we accepted that we would get mostly clothes, books, and other practical things with a special item thrown in if possible.

You are the "we" to your children...teach them how to maneuver through the crap the media and social outlets throw at them daily and they will learn the values that you want to pass on.

My beef isn't children believing in innocent myth per se, it is that this particular myth teaches very young minds a lesson that the poor deserve to be poor.

Yes, truth is better. Tell the kids that we give presents for fun and because we love each other.

It’s not Christmas, it’s YULE!

Gracious..who tells their kids the Santa myth? I sure didn't, and neither did my parents.

If parents are silly enough to tell elaborate lies to their children, then it's their problem. But at least it gives kids a heads up that adult stories are often just that..stories.

You've struck a nerve. I've long been against this behavior. Perhaps we will one day look back on the entire practice of telling our children things which we either don't believe, or cannot claim to know to be true, as a form of child abuse. Why do we fill our children's minds with falsehoods that they must inevitably purge? Reading popular books and going along with the crowd can offer no excuse, because we, as adults, know the existence of these characters cannot be shown to be facts. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, ghosts, God, Satan and Jesus are basically the same thing--made up characters who our children are sometimes forced to encounter as actually existing. Psychologically, when we teach this shit, we adults are fucking with our kids' heads.

I never bothered telling my kids about Santa.
Of course, they were exposed to it. But I only said some people believe that. (same with any religious holiday, or mystic creature)

I do take Xmas as a reminder of goodwill to others, to love everyone, and to rejoice in family. We exchange gifts and have a meal together. Very simple, very humbling.

Then we have to go to my Christian mother's home. Where she still insists they believe, where she reads a Bible verse before the meal, and overall makes a fool of herself ?

i never had to deal with santa, being raised in a secular jewish family. santa always seemed silly to me. i don't even think i knew that some people actually believed santa was real; it was, to me, just a silly story that christians were into.

but yeah, i suppose it does predispose folks to believe any old crap.

g