A man walked into a bar with a look of despondency on his face. He sat on a bar stool and set a small black bag on the bar. “I’ll have whatever’s on tap,” he said when the bartender approached.

“Sure thing.” As he poured, the bartender started up a conversation. "What`s in the bag?"

Taking his beer from the bartender, the man reached into the bag and pulled out a miniature grand piano. He reached in again and pulled out a one-foot tall man elegantly dressed in a tuxedo. The tiny man walked stiffly to the piano, bowed to the bartender, and sat down and began to play. The brilliance of his music filled the bar with Beethoven, Bach, Mozart. He played some jazz, and then ended with a catalogue of favorite Broadway showstoppers. When he had finished, applause throughout the room was uproarious.

“That was amazing,” the bartender sighed, mesmerized by the impromptu concert. “Where did you get such a small piano player?”

The patron reached again into his bag and pulled out a lamp. “I rubbed the lamp and a genie came out and gave me a wish,” he said.

The bartender quickly grabbed the lamp and rubbed it vigorously with his bar rag. Instantly, an old and wrinkled genie poured himself out of the spout. “I will grant you one wish!” he hollered to the bartender.

The patron yelled to the bartender earnestly: “Before you make your wish make sure you speak…” But it was too late. The bartender shouted. “I wish for a million bucks!”

"Done!" The genie clapped his hands and sank back into his bottle…

After which, a duck walked up the bar, quacking at the bartender. Then another duck alit atop the beer tap. Then another, then another. And before long the bar was overrun with ducks. On the tables, on the floor, hanging from the lights: Thousands... tens of thousands... and finally... a million ducks.

"Christ!" the bartender shouted. "I didn't say ducks, I said bucks!"

The patron looked compassionately at the bartender. “I tried to warn you! The genie’s hard of hearing. Do you really think I wished for a 12-inch pianist?"