I'm sorry you felt that way. I hope you get some help with how you feel. I recommend therapy. It's worked for me. Depression/Anxiety meds is another thing to consider.

I have two sons and a wife and they are the most important thing to me.  They have kept me sane all these years and I have pledged to focus on them and not worry overmuch about myself.  I'm better now and I hope you will be too.

If you ever want to talk about it, I'm usually online.

Which demonstrates that atheism need not be (and is not inherently) a philosophy of despair. That is just how theists tend to style it, because they've been taught from the cradle that their religion of choice gives their life meaning that's unobtainable anywhere else.

In truth ... everyone gets meaning from the same place, they make it for themselves. The irony is that a less restrictive set of thoughts to think, helps with making purpose, meaning and accurately valuing things.

I had considered suicide when I was younger. Having left my parent's religion, I no longer had a sense of belonging to a community, and I had no idea how to go about becoming a part of a group or community outside fo a religious setting. This situation often leads to depression, because we evolved in groups and communities and are instinctually drawn to be a part of a group or community. I think it iw probably worse for peopel who live in big ctiies becaue they are surrounded by peopel and still feel like they alone.

So, eventually I figured out that if I ever killed myself, I'd never know how the story of my life would have turned out.

Later I heard such things as "Suicide is a permanent solution to a remporry problem", and I thought that really fit well. Then I heard that virtually7 ever person who survived a suicide attempt by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge changed theri mind before they hit the water. That is about ten seconds of contemplation on the way down, which seems to be logn enough to change a person's mind.

I think most peopel who condier suicide have boxed themselves in psychologically (often others unwittingly help them box themselves in, as a means of controlling them) and do it to where they don't even/ever consider other viable options to get out of the psychological box they are in.

That's a good reason to be an atheist, that is, to hold on to the value of a life.

Dan, we're glad you didn't leave.

I spent a year or two solid wanting to kill myself, yeah. I didnt become atheist because of it nor was I depressed because of my atheism, but having admitted my atheism to myself recently before that was probably one of the bigger reasons I didnt go through with it. The fact that life is short enough already combined with not wanting to hurt my sister were the main things that kept me from doing it. Life sucks but itll be over relatively soon in the grand scheme of things. Might as well give it a chance to suck until it doesnt. Still pretty sure Im gonna die alone but the only way to make that a certainty is to give up now.

I've cycled in and out of suicidal crisis meant times. Finally I gave myself permission to complete and came up with a fairly reliable plan to do so. BUT I also had to fill certain criteria beyond just feeling hopeless. I knew from experience that suicidality was a passing phase in the cycle which actually signaled an upswing (I was finally hopeful enough to contemplate a solution.) The criteria includes a debilitating disease among other things. Since I have settled the "should I/shouldn't I" question the stress has been much relieved.

Glad you thought it all through logically and came to the right decision. Life is too precious to throw away, especially when we know it is the only one we will ever have. Good to have you here with us giving us the benefit of your insight and wisdom.

Good on you for choosing to fight on in this wicked cruel yet stunningly beautiful world. Admire your strength and go you good thing, you got this. You have touched at least this humans heart.

glad you came to the right conclusion!

g

Interesting viewpoint.... And logical.

I've often contemplated suicide throughout my life, and I absolutely agree with your line of thought on the waste of doing such with nothing to experience afterward, very defeatist but not entirely against the point of ending it, what's always changed my mind was thinking about how it would affect those that still care about me and the fact that they still do, and how extremely selfish it would be to put them through that, it's always brought me back to my senses.