I just love absolutely cheesy jokes. lol I get a daily email from ajokeaday.com. Anyone else out there have any to share?
A dog walks into a butcher shop and the butcher asks, “What do you want?” The dog points to steak in a glass case. “How many pounds?” The dog barks twice. “Anything else?” The dog points to some pork chops and barks four times.
So the butcher wraps up a two-pound steak and four pork chops, and places the bag in the dog’s mouth. He then takes money from a purse tied around the dog’s neck, and sees him out. A customer, who has been watching in amazement, follows the dog to a house several blocks away, where it rings the doorbell to be let in. As the owner appears at the door, the customer says, “What a remarkable dog!”
“Remarkable?” snorts the owner. “This is the second time this week he’s forgotten his keys.”
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched in astonishment while they played. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen." "Nah," his friend replied, "he's not so smart. I've beaten him three games out of five."
I guy went to the dentist and said how much is an extraction.He said we have 3 prices.The man said what are they.He said the 1st one is £200 . He said you hardly feel the injection,hardly any blood and no pain.He said what's the 2nd one . He said it's £100 . A little bit of blood,a bit of pain and the injections going to hurt a bit.He said what's the 3rd . He said it's £10. He said what's that then . He said The injection really hurts,there's loads of pain and loads of blood.The man said that's fine. Can I have the £10 one and I would like to book the wife in for next Tuesday.
Compact On the Sidewalk
Carol and Patty were walking down the street. Carol noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
Patty said, "Let me look!" So Carol handed her the compact.
Patty looked in the mirror and said, "You dummy, it's me!"
Left Turn Indicator
On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tiplight. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.
"I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time."
Name of That Restaurant
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great I would recommend it very highly.
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"