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One of My Heroes just Died
Ive been on Vacation this week. I had plans to go to Florida with my rubber Ducky and paddle some of the rivers there and possibly hang out with a manatee or two. Saturday night. I get a call. My Mentor and Hero from my younger days was home and in the hospital after a heart attack. I have been visiting the hospital on annd off since I found out. Last night he suffered another heart attack, but was revived. I went in the Cardiac intensive care with his ex wife to visit. He opened his eyes and said Shit I was walking across the field in front of the old High Adventure Program main cabin It was a warm Summer day, and two dudes jump me. I open my eyes and its you. After Awhile he says I guess they were wrong I aint going to hell . Its good to say bye though before I am no more. Just got the call that he is no longer among us.
The hardest part about getting older is burying the people you love! Nothing can be worse than going through that so many times.

Stevil 8 Feb 7
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23 comments

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4

It is good to have final words with those you care about. Heartfelt condolences and kind thoughts for you and yours.

4

I've reached a stage where there is only one who is not family left, and he's not a close friend -- just an acquaintance. Why did I make that distinction? Because even if he dies before I do, the pain will be the same. I've lost a few other 'acquaintances' over the past few years and I know now that this is true. The alternative to feeling such pain is to feel nothing, and that is a horrible thought.

So, I'm sorry for your loss, @Stevil but I'm relieved that you feel it. That pain is one of the things that makes the human species special. There are very few others on this planet who display that sort of connection. Our bond with others is real and it endures. The grief we feel for our friends/acquaintances, those we admire but never met, and especially our family members, is the most sincere tribute we can give any of them.

Very well said.

4

Never easy to lose those we cherish. Warm condolences to you ...

4

I am so sorry for your loss. Grieving is the price we pay for having wonderful people in our lives. Have an internet hug.

3

I have found that the greatest grief arises from selfishness. Firstly there is the grief arising from rarely having told our loved ones that we love them. Secondly that whilst they are living we rarely give them permission to die before us. Thirdly we rarely discuss and prioritise those things that will grieve us the most if we do not complete them before they die. If you have done these and cleared the bucket list there will be nothing to grieve because the deceased lives on in you and everyone else who they influenced. ... in other words party time and posthumously thank the dead for what they left.
I said goodbye to my family more than forty years ago. With one exception the few additional meetings, conversations and letters were merely bonuses on lives already spent doing what we wanted to achieve. The exception, my brother, was killed before we could achieve what should have occurred.

@Stevil I fail to understand Stevil. You are still alive and have had wonderful experiences to cherish, to remember, to retell, to apply the learning to new life experience ... to me these are all causes for celebration of life - yours and your mentors. Perhaps it is time for you to be sharing your mentor's teaching with younger generations and those in need of it. That, IMO, is how progress is achieved and the lives of the dead are celebrated, revered and remembered.

Don't procrastinate or obfuscate, be obstinate and celebrate. Shake a fist at the Grim Reaper and tell him that he hasn't won.

3

I understand, I've lost many friends in the last few years. I'm sorry for you loss.

3

So sorry for your loss! It's always hard to lose the people you love!

3

My father just passed this past Oct. Even when it's a complicated relationship it can be so difficult and, at least for me, reinforces my own sense of mortality. Hope you can work through this sufficiently.

3

i feel for you, Stevil. being left behind will always be harder to bear than leaving. ... & in a way, this is soothing to me.

3

It is hard watching the numbers grow as our friends pass. I’m so sorry for your loss. ????

3

It is sad. But, we have such great memories to replay at will.

3

so sorry @Stevil.

3

So sorry for your loss. I'm sure he was a wonderful person in your life.

3

sorry about the loss of your friend. It is the hardest part of this stage of life

3

Sorry for your loss.

2

I understand, I've lost many friends in the last few years. I'm sorry for your loss.

2

Sigh. My heartfelt condolences to you and his family. I'm sorry for your loss, Stevil. 😟

2

I'm sorry.

1
1

Sad is as we get older.... more and more often will happen. We can't stop it. It is part of the contract we are on. It will never be the same but realize that you are losing friends faster you can make new ones so... those departed never will be forgotten or their place filled by someone else but you need to make new friends. You have to live life for those that no longer can.

@Stevil I heard that this week from a couple members here. Never easy. I am worried having to bury one of my children. I used to joke that I am waiting my ex to die so I can get my other half of my military pension but it is just a joke. My son put me on the perspective of what will happen to him if I die. So I don't want him to go thru that. I got to live as long I can. I am the only one of my mother's boy alive. It is tough but we have to figure out how to continue for us, for those around us and for those no longer with us.

0

Awww....that's sad and it really sucks. I'm sorry. 😟

0

Sorry for your loss, last year was a bad one for people I knew.
I think it is wonderful you got to catch up taht one last time.

0

So sorry to hear. I am glad you were able to see and speak with him before he passed.

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