My older brother was an elder in his church and he would give us a mini sermon every time he said grace at family dinners and my sister would fume as she watched the food she had slaved to make go cold while he thanked the Holy Moly for the grass and the trees and the birds and the bees. We asked him to cut it shorter out of respect to the rest of the family that didn't share his delusions and to the cooks (I'm also a good cook) but each time he would do the same crap, rambling on for 5 minutes or more. Finally, my brother in law politely asked if he might say grace for a change and my older brother was so thrilled at the possible conversion that he readily agreed, everyone bowed their heads and held hands, then after a brief pause for dramatic effect my brother in law said 'Rubba dub dub, Thanks for the grub, YAY GOD!' dropped hands and started to dig in. My older brother got up and left the table but he was much shorter on his sermons at future family get togethers.

yup bless you and pass the potatoes please

"Lets all hold hands for the blessing"
Me: "excuse me...y'all go on without me. This will take a while & me & god...we're good." gets up & leaves the room, returning 10 minutes later. "Y'all said hi for me I'm sure. Pass the ham please. Nothing like cured pig blessed by god is it."