STUDY: TV shows made for teens exclusively consumed by mid-thirties viewers
LOS ANGELES — A recent study has proven that television specifically written for the teenage demographic is exclusively being consumed by people in their thirties.
“At first we were flattered,” explained CW Executive Cydney Pentergrass. “We thought our teen television shows like The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina and The 100 were equally engaging for teens and adults alike. But after taking a look at the statistics, I’m realizing teens don’t even watch TV. And the 30-year-old demographic that does watch tv has the emotional maturity of 16-year-olds. Yikes.”
This recent study has proven that teens indeed do not enjoy narrative television shows, but would much rather watch a guy unbox and eat an army meal that was made during the Korean War. On the other hand, the 30-year-old demographic devours the simplistic storylines and “sexy little teen actors” of shows clearly meant for people 15 years their junior.
“I can’t get enough,” says 31 year old avid Riverdale fan, Jess Tripoli. “I get that it’s technically for teens, but this is the perfect escapist TV. As an emotionally-detached man in my early thirties, I need to escape my everyday shit life. Paying rent sucks, but watching Archie in a prison gang fight makes it all a little easier.”
The study shed light on how older viewers enjoy the shows because it takes them back to a simpler time; namely when they were teenagers watching shitty teen shows. researchers concur that this proves “30 is the new 16”, and concurrently that “16 the new fetus”.
Regardless of who is watching the show, Pentergrass is thrilled by the study. “Views are views”, she continues. “Is it alarming that my 36-year-old fiancé sincerely idolizes Jughead Jones? Yes. However, does that work for our sex life? Yes!”
In attempts for the CW to engage actual teenage viewership, they have recently greenlit “a guy talking while playing a video game”.
Mid-thirties? They missed me in their survey. I'm in the midst of rewatching for the Nth time the complete Buffy, the Vampire Slayer series. 
1
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
2 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Some of the conclusions reached (and voiced) by the person being quoted (and the author) are overcomplicated explanations of 'nostalgia being a primary emotional avenue for adults' and the 'retro remake' cycles which are a constant presence in entertainment on a 20-year time-frame (Disney is remaking Aladdin, Lion King, Toy Story, Dumbo, and Mary Poppins, 4 of which are releasing in a two month window next summer,) as well as drawing correlations and calling them causation, while somehow making snide sideways comments about adults who grew up on scripted television and therefore find it a familiar format, but only throws one very lighthearted and cheekily denigrating comment about the fact that the younger generation seems perfectly content to watch narcissists be narcissists instead, and their diminished attention spans and capacities aren't developed enough to find interest in extended plots and actual narratives. I also find it kind of funny that it's a CW executive saying all of this, and the fact is the CW was a big draw for the full 14-35 demographic even back when it was the WB. Half of their shows are remakes of shows that were on when the 30-40 set were teenagers or college age, which is a period of time where people develop lasting emotional bonds with/about things like movies and music, and they (the author of this article) seem to be pretty content glibly blaming it on latent generational ephebophilia and emotional escapism (as though escapism hasn't been a primary motivating factor for EVERY entertainment medium ever.)
geist171
Level 6
Nov 24, 2018
0
Have you ever heard of satire?
@A2Jennifer I don't usually look at tags, so I actually didn't realize it WAS satire. Thanks for being smug and rude for no reason though, that totally contributed something meaningful to the discussion .
@geist171 nah man. That was pretty obviously satire. Your earnest explanation WAS unintentionally hilarious though.
@OpposingOpposum yeah im probably somewhere on the autism spectrum so I tend to instinctively interpret information literally unless there's a big neon sign (and no, tags don't actually count to me, given that they're on the bottom, in a smaller/different font, and kind of unnecessary MOST of the time if you read the actual body of the text the tags at the bottom are meant to categorize after the fact) that says 'this is a joke.' Body language and facial expressions and tone of voice are big indicators and without them I kind of have to just blindly guess.
Kind of feel like you're potentially laughing AT me and not with me. :/ But I'm sensitive about it, so it could just be that.
And honestly, with the absurd state of things in the news and entertainment media right now, even sincere, genuine news sounds completely absurd and satirical. Just as an example: the Republican Congressman who publicly stated 'the female body can just choose to spontaneously abort an unwanted or illegitimate pregnancy, like from rape.' I'm paraphrasing, but that was an actual thing an actual member of our federal government said during an election year.
So yeah, I have issue distinguishing the absurdity of satire from the absurdity of actual events sometimes.
@OpposingOpposum wtf is your problem. There was no fucking reason for you to be such an asshole to him. I know him personally and no he didn't realize it was satire and you can go fuck yourself for making fun of him and being a complete jerk. If anyone is a fucking troll it's YOU.
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
Share this post
Related Groups More
Memes R Us
3036 members
Categories
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.