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I’m a closet agnostic! I want out... any tips on how to make the leap of unfaith!

sillysketcher 5 Feb 12

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16 comments

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I would not advise you to go 'whole hog,'...it could create more problems than you are prepared for, at the moment! Claim your truth and live in it. When you have developed a skill in deflecting (internally and externally )the thoughtless and sometimes cruel words that others may say about atheist, etc, you will save yourself, some precious energy! If you are already there, go for it...

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I don’t believe you need to come out as you are suggesting. Being agnostic or atheists may be a problem for someone who is religious. But who cares. Don’t waste your time unless you are pushed into it by a person who thinks it’s their duty to convert you. I don’t care if someone has a religious viewpoint and don’t expect them to tell me. I don’t expect they should ask me what I believe either.

Ya i agree with chris jones just keep it to yourself unless u are trying to be converted or something

You are welcome @sillysketcher

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Well, my friend, there is no way to break this to you gently. If you really want out, you announce and let the chips fall where they might. Believe it or not, that's the easy part. What follows can be anything from underwhelming to awful. How you deal with that is up to you, but deal with it you must if you expect to have a life that is reasonably honest.

"T1D1"

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Read. Read. Read. There's no such thing as too much knowledge.
Be brave, when necessary. Stand your ground. I'm not saying be confrontative. But don't be afraid to state who and what you are. Closets are for clothes.
Find like-minded sorts. This place is a start. If you need flesh and blood gatherings, check things like meetup and other sites for gatherings of agnostics, atheists, skeptics, and secularists in your area. WE ARE EVERYWHERE.
Don't be afraid to have fun with your rationalism. Check out sites like Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster for a side of pasta with your reason. 😉
Welcome to the "dark side." Don't worry....we'll give you the secret handshake soon and we have cookies and, of course, PI!

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Since I never had to 'make a choice' to be who and what I am, and to believe (or not believe) what I want, I am not sure how to answer your question - however I'd say just do you, and everyone else can do their own selves. I don't bring up religion (or lack thereof) unless someone asks (and even then I'll often just answer with "I don't discuss religion" ) and most people are perfectly happy assuming what they want to assume and leaving me out of it.

Is it your family that concerns you? If so, I'd suggest a frank discussion, that's usually the best route.

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  1. Live your life unapologetically, always.

  2. Stop giving a damn about what other people think.

  3. Be gentle to yourself in your process, even when others are not.

  4. Love everyone. Difference in spiritual or religious ideology does not have to serve as a barrier between anyone. The only way it can do that is if you or another person LET it.

  5. Seek Truth. And don't stop 'til you find it.

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Just wait until they bring it up, they will eventually. Then do what I do, laugh in their face and say I don't believe any of that silly shit and as an adult I'm surprised that you do. Is santa still bringing you presents? Get the fuck out of here with that shit.

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You are out . You just told everyone on this site . Welcome to the club !

2

Just relax...no big announcement necessary. Just do not go to church, and if/ when anyone asks, say something to the effect that you are on another path, or think differently, or whatever you feel comfortable saying. Others are entitled to their beliefs as are you.

1
  1. Go to the family reunion wearing a Buddhist mandala
  2. Show up to your cousin’s wedding wearing a “Fuck Christianity” tee shirt
  3. Publish a long rant on Facebook explaining how enlightened you are and how they are all sheep
  4. Get a tattoo or other symbol of defiance against “the man”
Lauxa Level 5 Feb 12, 2018
3

It would be wonderful if we could all just be who we are, live and let live, you do you and I do me and we live happily ever after but that is not reality. Actions have consequences, you have a choice of your actions but you do not have a choice of the consequences. I wish I could give you the answer to your situation, but only you know all the circumstances surrounding your environment. I wish you well and hope what ever choices you make will be right for you and will lead to acceptance of you by everyone you love and are close to you.

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Most people don't know what agnostic means. Usually in the past when I've explained it I didn't get much trouble even when I lived in Tennessee. It's usually atheists that get the visceral reactions

I agree with this.

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Start with one person who you think will be supportive. It gets easier once you've said it out loud to someone. I actually started gradually by telling people close to me that I didn't believe in religion. Not believing in god follows naturally. I'm actually still open to proof of the existence of god but will never believe that religion has anything to do with a real god.

True, religion has more to do with money and power. I.e. control.

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I agree with Gator, live your life according to your non-belief. No need to be pushy or militant. Also, do your best to be informed and able to present a good argument or defense of how you "don't believe" I recommend Atheism for Dummies book.

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I recently lost my parents' respect for being open about my atheism. But I am glad I'm finally completely out and I would do it again. Be yourself and be proud!

I don't think I've ever valued anyone's opinion of me enough to change my beliefs or behavior. It has definitely made my life easier than a majority of people.

'Loss of respect'...should be about character, not your human potential. I hope they believe in that..

4

Just do it. The truth shall set you free. Just steel yourself against any backlash. You might get it, you might not. Have faith in your own mind and your ability to think rationally and logically.

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