My experience exactly with my previous spouse.

@mordant Is there a Death with Dignity program in New York or was this somewhere else?

@JackPedigo This was Arizona, and no. I didn't mean the same experience in that way. It was just that she wanted permission to let go of life and that was a hard thing to give. But the right thing to do.

But yeah in AZ, as in most states, you have to end your own life without assistance if that's your desire. Not that I consider, e.g., Washington or Oregon to be all THAT helpful. Last I knew you need a death sentence for 6 months or less from at least 2 doctors and then you have to find a doctor willing to assist and go through more interviews and fill out more forms and by then your 6 months may be up anyway (or you've finished yourself off jumping through hoops when already terminally ill). I consider these laws a modest start on true self-determination in this area, nothing more.

@mordant Perhaps some clarifications are in order. From what I have heard Arizona does not have Death with Dignity but they won't prosecute doctors who engage in the program (this from a doctor here who is involved with the endoflifewa). Yes one needs a terminal illness of <6 months. That is because the cause of death has to be a terminal illness since suicide is not allowed (for good reasons) on the death certificate. You need an attending doctor to sign an initial form and that has to go back after 15 days and certify that the person is in a good mental state. From there there has to be a consulting doctor that signs and the attending Dr. then orders a med. from a pharmacist (who is certified for the drug). There are no other forms that I know of. Here, on our little island we had our dictor sign but then we found 2 other Drs. lived here and one helped write the law and he actually picked up the mids. from Seattle. The other Dr. was retired but kept her license up to help those who could't find the cunsulting Dr. This process can be done using Skype so she was able to spend more time on the island and spent hours with us. She also reformulated the medication (she was an anesthesiologist) along with 7 other Drs. It has been her mission to reduce the timeline from start to finish to the minimum no. of days to 17. Our problem was that after about 19 days there were still complications (from a Dr in Seattle) and Parvin went into a coma and died after only a few hours.
Absolutely, hard to do but the right thing. Now let's hope we can find someone willing to do that if and when our time comes.

@JackPedigo Thanks for the info.

There is no distinction in our society between rational and irrational suicide. Until there is, there will be a stigma concerning putting that on a death certificate. (Perhaps we should use a term like voluntary end of life). Places like Switzerland and the Netherlands have no such concerns and people with sufficient money can go through Dignitas in Switzerland to get the deed done, but I understand it's not a walk-in situation and can take up to 3 months (at least for foreigners). Cost is roughly $10K US. The nice thing there is, one doesn't need a fatal diagnosis, one can terminate based on intractable pain and similar quality of life issues.

@mordant I submitted a comment about the 105 yo scientist that went to Switzerland to end his misery on earth. Some words are simply hard to get around (atheist is one of them) so, as you said, the wording has to be changed (Brights [the-brights.net]

@lerlo It means free in a sense that they know you trust them and that they wouldn't cheat on you.

At least for me it does.

I like your way of thinking. ?

@SleeplessInTexas yes we are on the same page. But I'm sure you can understand how someone might take it the other way as many in the free love days of the 60s did. As long as both people are on the same page that's all that matters.

I think for the saying to be valid it has to be a two way street. it is hard for one person to support the other's freedom when the other person is abusing it to hurt the other.

@KenChang Indeed. I admit that I get slightly jealous only if I really like someone and I feel my relationship with that person is being threatened. Is that normal?

If not, I need advice.

I'm normally not the jealous type. In none of my previous relationships was I ever given reason. The men I've been with have been respectful to me. Even my ex-husband was very respectful, but it hurt sooooooo bad to have to let go in the end.

There's a line that once crossed, there's no undoing the mistake. I forgive by letting go.

@SleeplessInTexas I am sure that everyone feels some amount of jealousy at some point. But most of us have the ability to let it go and not let it interfere with our relationships.

Whenever I feel a tinge of jealousy or possessiveness, I take a deep breath and remind myself that I cannot and should not change how the other person feels about me.

@KenChang Thank you. I respect your advice. Advice taken.

I'm usually confident in what I can offer and bring to a relationship. The right person will see this and appreciate it.

One of these days, I will meet him and I will take your advice with me.

Thank you, Ken.

@SleeplessInTexas Oh god. It wasn't meant as an advice! I am the least qualified person to give advice on relationship matters! I am sharing my own personal experience, whether right or wrong. The fact that you are still single is an evidence that most men are blind!

@jondspen Hehehe...