After six months of being in a wheelchair and feeling hopeless, I'm now up and walking again. My goal for 2019: return to hiking, running, golfing, and Jiu-Jitsu.

I'll be honest: I'm not 'cured' by anything. This is all through sheer determination. I'm still in pain. But pain can be a great motivator. I'm avoiding any of the drugs they prescribed me due to a conflict with my ability to rationalize reality. Very unpleasant experiences.

A little background: beginning in January of this year, I have had four surgeries to my L5-S1 Lumbar area, with the third being a fusion. Resulting from the second surgery, I gained a new superpower in the form of nerve damage in my lower left leg that has left my left foot numb and like a lead weight. Resulting from the fourth and final surgery in August, the nerve damage is now also in my left thigh on the anterior.

No official reason why. The surgeon and neurologists (and even second opinion spinal surgeon) are baffled. I've had thirteen MRI's in 2018.

Not once did I lose hope or turn to religion. Didn't even cross my mind. Add to this my wife of two years decided that she'd had enough of the stress and we separated. Honestly? No animosity there. She's been a great friend and this wasn't what she signed up for.

I had a point to make, and it may have been that when everything seems darkest and the problems are bottomless, dig deep and summon forth all of your energy and determination and the love for self. No imaginary or fictional being will save you. Rely on your universe of friends and family to get you through (yes, even the religious ones. They can still cook meals and make life a little easier. Just be strong and ignore the drivel).

I'm focusing on learning to program now since I can't go back to doing deskside support, and I love my new path. I feel like I wasted so much time and should have made the switch long ago. It's never too late to make a plan and make a change. My new personal hashtag for myself is #evolveyourself. It says everything. Never be static on anything except delivering the best you possible to yourself and those around you.

The religious do not have ownership of positive thinking and motivation. If you can't find it elsewhere, use my example. Motivate yourself in small steps, with small goals. Achieve those small goals and reward yourself.

You are the most powerful being in your life. Allow yourself to be your own superhero or god/dess. You control your destiny. It's never too late. Start right now, today.

#evolveyourself