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So here is my rant I recently met a guy I liked as a friend on facebook. We were talking on messenger and it started turning into more sex talk after a few days of sex talk he tells me he is a good christian man and does not feel right about our sex talk and that he is going to ask for forgiveness WTF!! Apparently he is saving himself for marriage, he said even kissing and second base play is off limits, again WTF!! So I asked him if he masturbates because according to the bible that is a sin and then he said yes, but I ask god for forgiveness every Sunday, again WTF!! I told him that sex is a biological urge like breathing and why are you going to resist that urge. I think you should test the merchandise before you buy it. What happens if there is no sexual chemistry and you are stuck in a sexless marriage. Am I being too insensitive with this guy?

KatEngland 3 Dec 19
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25 comments

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11

I don't think you're being too sensitive. He appears to be sexually repressed and has hangups.

Red flag.

8

Run away . As fast as possible. Cant be fixed and not your problem.

Or run at him and try to put a finger in his ass πŸ˜€

@ClaytonE83 forgive me father, i let her in .... or sin.....

6

Normally l would suggest running fast and far, but in your case l would suggest you get in your car, boat, plane, whatever your mode of transportation you own, and drive, sail, or fly as far away from this guy as you possibly can. Change your identity if you have to, but do disappear. IMHO πŸ™‚

6

Oh dear baby Geezus.... RUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another lifetime ago, pre internet, a classmate in college & I were interested in each other, or so I thought.
And of all things his mother was a therapist... let's just say he decided to get all religious at the most inopportune of times. I was at the summit of my being at the time and was just like wtf?! Here I am giving you a shot , here on a silver platter & you're going to get religion? NOW?! FU! (we were NAKED!)
OMG that did not end well.
FF some months & he turns up on my door step. I happened to be horribly sleep dep & was having none of his regrets. Regret away buddy.

RUN! RUN! RUN! Nope that shit from SPACE!!!

Wow. Read my response. Sounds eerily familiar.lol

6

no, i think he's being too dishonest with himself. but do you really want to go out with a guy who believes those things?

g

5

There’s too many red flags here to even consider moving forward with a potential relationship. There’s the theological difference and sexual incompatibility. I don’t see the upside here for you.

5

RUN!

He is very sexually repressed and even if married it would probably be only missionary position, in the dark, under the covers as fully still pajamaed as possible.

Oh, and only during your fertile times.

Had a friend who's wife said many times "Sex is for child production only",needles to say it was divorce court for them.

I know a woman who made the mistake of marrying such a Catholic. I kind of feel sorry for him. He was programmed by his church that sex was to make children so after kids, nothing works for him any more. He is still young so think it is a psychological (Catholic) thing.

I cannot fathom not having sex before marriage.

I am also an advocate of living together for at least 6 months before making that leap.

You don't really know someone until you you have seen their kitchen and bathroom habits.

@BufftonBeotch I'd recommend one year of living together before marriage. It worked for me and my wife and you learn a lot, esp. if at least one of you has never done that before.

5

I would be keeping him at double arms length from the moment he said he's a "good Christian" !
And this one sounds especially guilt ridden. Ugh

4

This guy is a neurotic mess with guilt, sexual repression and hangups. RUN!

4

You need to find a new guy. You can be his friend but he is not for you romantically.

3

Not too insensitive, just don't hope for any changes. I say run. I have a sort of funny story. When teaching, one day I was sitting in a coworker's office bulldhiting, relaxing ,and having a soda. A student came by. A real sweetheart of a guy, every father's dream son in law, handsome, kind, athelete, etc. Anyway, he asked if my friend (also male) could help him with a dilemma. We said that we would try. He was A senior. He said he was dating a stripper (luckily neither my friend Nor i said what we were thinking). We asked him the problem. She wanted to have sex; he was saving himself for marriage. My friend and I looked at each other and at the same time said, uh, sorry, but, we can't advise you on that one.

3

If it were a woman I were talking to I would have been like peace c-ya the minute she mentioned any kind of religious remorse...

2

run forrest run!

2

He is [1] human and [2] tormented that he is human because of his beliefs about sexuality. He simply had a wave of guilt wash over him and is trying to fall back to what his belief-system prescribes, which is that he's a prim, respectful, asexual person who "honors" you as something other than a sex object.

I honestly don't think you're being insensitive with him. You're just being honest about what you think / need and desire from the relationship.

That said, if your interactions lead with "sex talk" then it's unsurprising that you're just now finding out that there's a huge ideological divide between you. If you don't have much invested or haven't developed a connection or bond, this may not be a practical problem. But personally I prefer to get to know a person's mind and character first, body second.

2

Couldn't he explore satisfying your sexual needs and ask forgiveness for that too??

A good thinking man would

2

pass. next. (my advise)

2

You are being too kind.

I can't imagine wasting time with a theist as I believe a positive relationship should be based on mutual respect and honesty. As an atheist, I can not respect a person who bases their belief system on the dishonest premise that faith (belief without evidence) is a reliable methodology to determine (Truth) things that are testable and demonstrated to be correct with evidence. My high standards for truth and honesty do not allow me to accept such a person as a significant part of my life. I've had lots of Christian women express an interest in encounters but I don't think they are worth my time.

1

He has some very strong beliefs and it sounds as though they have been with him for a long time. If he's grown up being taught in some way it might be hard for him to change. ?

In the long-run open-minded people are much easier to to interact with. Please consider this carefully. If a breakup should occur down the road it can be very painful.

1

Oh man I have been in his shoes. I was a virgin when I was married. Luckily she was a freak so no issues there. Before that I made out with a lady I worked with when I was at a bible college. Afterwards I felt so guilty and dirty I fell on my knees crying in the shower thinking I had sinned beyond belief. The lady invited me to her house the next day and I refused. She was peeved. She even said I could have sex with her daughter. And damn she was hot! I refused again. Looking back I feel like the dumbest guy in the world but when you are in that world it is hard to get out. I feel sorry for the dude. I'm free now but o feel it might be too late for me to take advantage of my youth. Smh. I know above most that Christians are fucked up in the brain.

she said you could have sex with her daughter ???

@Lillyfield41 yeah. She wanted to teach me how to have sex and how to please a woman (I was a virgin at the time) and she introduced me to her daughter as well.

1

Stupid is as stupid does. Not sure you can change him though.

0

I think this guy is a wacko. Lol

0

He almost sounds like a catholic priest....πŸ™‚) Run!!

0

Perhaps shocking him that Women have strong sex drives also,otherwise,our race may die out... A wife or girlfriend say to the male in her life "Let's go to bed",and the Suns still up,what does that say? "I want you and now"?

0

No, you are being "too" honest.

0

Well, the first couple times with anyone is going to be shy and awkward. At least when you don't have many partners and don't pull that frisky business very often. Then nature kicks in and things start to look like something from the Discovery Channel. Take a good look at his pic. If that's really him, are you attracted to him? Men like sex. These things usually work themselves out.

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