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Before Xmas, I asked my son, Mike, to buy a dozen red roses for my wife, Anna. I cannot get around very well since I'm in a wheelchair. Mike forgot, and I reminded him Xmas day, after we exchanged gifts Mike forgot again, so yesterday I told Anna, and she said. "You should have told me to buy them for your GF, then surprised me with them." I was literally dumbfounded. Finally, I said, "Don't have a GF." I don't but may when I'm walking and fit. Maybe I'll also get to keep my family of 35 years. Ethical non-monogamy may work out for us; at least I hope so.

EdEarl 8 Dec 28
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4 comments

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1

Best of luck on all fronts! Happy Holidays!

Thank you, and safe trip.

2

You're not the only one with a son who has no interest in gifts, cards, or other thoughtful gestures. My stepson is a really decent human being and has terrific integrity and work ethic, but just doesn't see the point of cards or gifts. And he's every bit as stubborn about that as he is about his ethical convictions. Like your son he'll reluctantly agree to do stuff like that and then still not do it. Drives me to distraction. It's not how he was raised.

2

I am trying to work this out. You and Anna....are you divorced/separated? You say you don’t have a girlfriend, but it seems your wife thinks you do. The fact that your son and fiancée are Christian seems like a red herring here, nothing to do with this story of forgetting to get you the roses. You seem upbeat at the end of this saga, so good luck in whatever it is that you think is going to work out!

Background is in my bio. We haven't had sex since 2000, and recently I told her that it was unfair she stopped sex, that I still have desires, and I didn't intend to remain celibate. I still love her and our family; don't want a divorce, but we are economic partners and platonic friends. My only option is polyamory, i.e., ethical non-monogamy or divorce. I choose the polyamory; I hope she allows it.

@EdEarl Has she ever said why she won’t have sex?

@EdEarl A lot of pretentious terms for, "married in name only." If she has no interest in sex, it should not be up to her to, "allow" you to engage sexully with someone else. Despite that some will disagree with me, a marriage is a contract to have sex only with each other...no sex-no contract. I would not remain in a marriage such as yours.

@Marionville She doesn't like to talk about it, but it occurred when she was taken off harmonies she took for a hysterectomy. She said that she had no desire. I've seen enough self help videos on the topic to be aware that is not a show stopper, so IDK for sure. There are probably multiple things that influence her, like being married 35 years. I'm not alone, there is a group, "Dead Bedrooms."I'm autistic and challenged to understand body language and emotional communications.

@EdEarl I wish you nothing but best wishes, sorry for the position you find yourself in. Another loving partner with your wife’s blessing sounds like the best outcome for you.

@Marionville Thank you. She, of course, can do the same without me having a right to complain. I'll need all the good luck I can find, all the emotional strength I can muster, and the best communications of my life.

@EdEarl If we were believers, I would pray for you! ?

@Marionville LOL, thanks.

@dahermit It is his decision to stay in the marriage...not yours. He has his own reason and that is his prerogative. What you would or wouldn’t do is quite immaterial. If he wishes to have his wife’s blessing that is his choice too. There are no two marriages/relationships alike, all are unique and as long as both parties agree to the arrangements, then anything can happen within it.

@Marionville Dipshit, he posted on a "forum". That implies that there will be opinions given doesn't it.

@dahermit Please, personal attacks are not welcome. I find flame wars offensive, which is often what happens when you call someone, "Dipshit."

@dahermit I am not American, but I understand your insult perfectly. ...I expect an apology. What is wrong with people like you who can’t keep civil when pointing out a difference of opinion? I could respond to you in kind but wouldn’t lower myself to your level. You do know that there is a policy of no personal insults on this site, so it’s up to you whether you wish to comply or get thrown out.

@Marionville Go back and read your original response to my first post. Your demeanor was insulting to me and I reacted in kind. Please hold your breath until you get your apology.

@dahermit I never at any time insulted you, or used abusuve language. You are completely out of order.

2

Confusing..need to clarify. Lost you after you mentioned Anna.

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