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Is online long distance dating a complete waste of time?

loudshirt 5 Jan 19
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0

it can happen, but I feel at some point one or both of you has to move closer, preferably sooner than later. Otherwise it can get frustrating. I've rarely seen LDRs work in the long run. Ideally before you get seriously involved you have to be honest with each other about your willingness to relocate.

1

LDRs are not the ideal BUT... you limit your possibilities by not, at least, exploring it as an option. Yes, at least one of the persons need to be willing to relocate, knowing it may not be permanent. But it's easy enough today with technology, especially video chat, to get a pretty good feel as to whether there is enough chemistry to make a trip or two. Most likely you can tell at that point if you should pursue the relationship or not. Times and conditions for dating have changed. If you want to be successful you should consider all options and not restrict yourself. IMO.

0

A person has to answer a question before they think about an LDR: what do they want out of it? Is their desire a reasonable expectation? Perhaps LDRs work for someone with anxiety that would be terrified to actually meet, or can't travel. Introverts may prefer that kind of relationship. If someone decides to proceed with one...better buckle up, as it won't be easy most likely. Many decades ago I attempted it briefly...enough to find out you can't squeeze honey out of a telephone.

1

I used to say, long-distance relationships can't work. I think they can as long as both people really want it bad enough.

1

It depends on so many things. If both parties have the time, budget, and circumstances to travel and meet... if they can deal with not meeting for extended periods... how long they're willing to be in a long distance relationship, or whether one or both are able to relocate.

It can be fulfilling or it can be a nothing.

1

If it gets to the point that there is meaningful exchange, and the people involved are each willing to make changes - then no, maybe not.

If both are able to make visits , and spend some reality time, anything is possible.

A relative of mine met a fella in an online chat room - not even a dating site. Their initial similarities grew into long chats, then skypes at all hours. By the way - she is in NYC, he, in Australia !

A couple years long story short - they've been married for about 8yrs now, and live in her tiny NYC apartment !

4

I met a guy who lived 1,500 miles away online, and now we've been married 3 years.

Orbit Level 7 Jan 19, 2019
0

Unless the penis is long enough to reach her, it is a waste of time. And yes, it IS all about sex.

3

Absolutely, have fun while it lasts. Unless you were willing and able to at least meet in person, it's pointless except for fun.

4

I am presently enjoying an ldr. Been communicating for nine months. She is hopefully coming to join me in a month and a half. We shall see. Pragmatic enough to handle if doesn't work out.

Good luck to you both! ?

2

I spent 4 years in an online relationship, proposed marriage online, went to meet her, and she suddenly had a job offer in Egypt.

@maturin1919
Such is life. Laugh at it or be miserable.

@HomeAloneSunday me too. had an almost one year online relationship, which was highly sexually charged, and he was married. Hes still looking for women to date.

@HomeAloneSunday I have the same rule, 55 mile distance. Reason for that is to include women from a city with a very liberal small college in it.

1

No. Although that doesn't address the larger question of how good a use of one's time relationships are to begin with.

Everyone will answer these questions differently.

Any effective strategy for finding a S.O. will NOT rely on a single web site or a single strategy and it will not overlook the many things you need to do to be attractive to the right people. Judging from the number of people who post here for dating purposes who don't write a bio or write a two sentence bio, post no pics (or pics that are quite self-evidently showing their one good angle that was shot out of focus a decade ago) and who evince astonishment that no one then responds to their non-overture ... I would say many are lacking in the tactical planning and self-development departments.

And many times, including my case, even doing as you suggest is not enough due to the competition and numbers game that it is.

@TomMcGiverin My first wife was the product of a double date, my second wife came to me via a pre-Internet date-by-mail service, my third was an incidental meeting on a non-dating site. So ... mixed results. The only thing I can say about when I was "in the market" is that while there was some time spent aghast at the slim pickings on dating sites, on an overall basis there wasn't a real problem because I have not been unattached for more than a couple years during my adult life. YYMV.

0

Ask yourself this: Are you in a situation where you really want to get out of your current geographical location? If the answer is yes, you have a better chance. If you meet someone willing to relocate, there is a chance it might not work out and they will have to go back. Or there sacrifice for relocation could be so high, there is an unspoken resentment lingering.

My current relationship started out as an LDR but as a 100% telecommute with a portable job I had the flexibility to remove the LD from the R with my partner's permission (and I did not move in with her, I simply moved a couple miles away so we could pursue a normal dating situation, and had it not worked out, I could have returned to my mothballed home out West, no harm, no foul).

It was a good thing because we were 2300 miles apart initially and she was tied down with dependent minor children at the time so I was the one who had to uproot myself if I cared that much for her. It was an easy decision though and I'm glad I made it.

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