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I came across my wedding cake topper cleaning out a drawer and now I am sitting in the dark listening to Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here and crying. It has been about a month and a half since my ex died but the pain feels as fresh as it did when I first got the news . I know grief ebbs and flows. I just hate when it hits me so hard.

By Sorcha6
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I get it. Happened to me today. Chronic sorrow.

ToolGuy Level 8 Jan 27, 2019

It's a rare thing to be that broken up about the passing of an ex - well it was that way when mine passed 4 months ago. While you two were no longer together, he left an impact on your life. At least you were able to see him before he passed away. Hugs to you.


It will probably take about a year before you start feeling normal again, don't rush it. I did and made some pretty bad mistakes. You will never forget your time together, just remember the good times, omit the bad and eventually you will eventually feel whole again.

bossaxel1 Level 4 Jan 24, 2019

I'm sorry to hear that your upset please take care.


You said " my ex", so are you widowed or did you divorce before he died?


I'm sorry. You are fortunate to have had true love while it lasted.


I know you have a lot of good memories. Enjoy them.

Eshaftic Level 5 Jan 23, 2019

I'm so sorry! Of course you're still raw & tearful, it's hardly been any time at all.

Carin Level 8 Jan 23, 2019

Join the widowed group here at You'll find LOTS of people to sound off to, whenever you need.

You were correct, at least by my experience. We call thise grief crashes "waves". They are nearly constant immediately after the loss (less than 2 months certainly counts), but tend to space out more with time. It's been twelve years since I lost my husband to cancer. In my case, playing "Dark Side of the Moon" for my son ripped me pretty hard. I can say, though, that many memories now make me smile instead of cry.

Zster Level 8 Jan 23, 2019

I found talking to a grief counsellor very helpful.


Thank you for the kind words. I am snuggled in bed with my dogs ready for sleep. I write to my ex in ny journal and even though it has been 10 years since we last spoke, I can hear his voice in my head. I visited him right before he died and he wasn't able to speak, but it gave us both a measure of peace to see one another one last time and say good bye.

Sorcha Level 6 Jan 23, 2019

I'm sorry you're hurting. I hope the pain changes into sweet sorrow and stays manageable.

brentan Level 8 Jan 23, 2019

I’m so very sorry. Loss is never easy, and grief can’t be rushed.
I lost my beloved youngest brother to brain cancer almost 3 years ago; he was 49 and left behind 5 children. It’s taken this long to recall him without just losing it. Definitely a process I was not prepared for, in spite of my work as a nurse and with other losses. It knocked me down.
Sending hugs to you and others here dealing with loss. Be kind to yourself. ❤️


My instinct is to offer a hug and a listening ear.

OHJim Level 5 Jan 23, 2019

So sorry. My wife up and left after 36 yrs. Her mom died and that changed her drastically.
I hope you get over the pain.

Keech Level 5 Jan 23, 2019

Oh no! I'm so soooo sorry. I want you to know I do feel your pain. It's wrenching. I never knew what that feeling or mourning REALLY is. My ex ((Crying)) love, was shot and died 5 months ago. I rarely drink and I had to drink in the morning to get thru initially. It still very painful at times but they pass ...just lean into it..feel it...its a process... ?

goodness-- my sincere empathy for you at this time. ~Healing~

That would be such an awful way to lose someone, I am so very sorry. I know the pain of being widowed, but not like that. *hugs


Step back from the pop music! Especially that one. Not written from a happy place.

(Full disclosure: I drop Radiohead's Street Spirit ("...fade out again..." ) into the car CD player and hit repeat until I get where I'm going. I admit, I don't take my own advice.)

Also, my older sister died 40 years ago. I still find tears sometimes when I think of her. I only wish she could know that. So, maybe that's not such a bad thing after all. @SleeplessinTexas seems to've the right idea.

Deiter Level 8 Jan 23, 2019

Whoa whoa whoa
Did you just call Pink Floyd pop?
Jesus fucking Christ
The greatest rock band in history pop?

My apologies for your pain Sorcha
I couldn’t let Floyd be disrespected with such an atrocious comment from @deiter


@darthfaja Sorry, bro. It sold 45M. That's as mainstream as it gets.

(And on rare occasions, the multitudes may recognize quality.)

Number of records sold does not equal its genre
That’s about the fucking stupidest thing I’ve heard today
Ever hear of the Beatles, AC/DC, the eagles, Led Zeppelin? They are also on your list
You obvious know nothing about Floyd
Pop.... lol

@darthfaja You seem fun.

Also, to borrow you parlance, what the fuck do you think pop means anyway?


This breaks my heart!

If only I could make you feel him so you know he's still with you. Because as long as you remember him, everything about him that made you love him, keeps him closer to you. He's still with you.

Talk to him. Channel him into your mind and heart.

I wish I could hug you. Cry.. let the pain out, but breathe because you both were gifted with one another. ❤??

Very well said!


A month and a half is not long. Grieve. The loss of love is painful. Knowing it was part of your life is joyful and will get you through

HeraTera Level 7 Jan 23, 2019
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