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I'm sitting here mentally preparing myself to go to my martial arts class while in the process of preparing for a disability claim and wonder if it seems silly or hypocritical to cling to a physically demanding hobby when you can't hold a pencil? It's exercise yes, which is good, but my doctor wants me to switch to yoga or Tai chi, but I just really love taekwando. I only go once a week, and do limited impact moves, but it's hard on me.

I've already lost so many of my passions to this damn disability, so many hobbies marked a casualty, killed by my brokenness. I can no longer shoot archery, ride horses, shoot guns (while properly supervised), drawing, and biking.

It's frustrating beyond belief, and people say "if it's painful just stop" as if it's so easy to give up the things you love.

Sorry, small moment of melancholy. Well, less melancholy more anger.

I'm just angry. I'm angry and I want to just beat my body into submission so I can have my way.

Anyone else go through what it's like?

LadyAlyxandrea 8 Mar 1

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You have a right to be angry, you have lost things and it's not your fault. I was extremely angry when my back went bad, the limitations I have prevent me from doing 75% of the things I used to do.
Now that being said, try to expand what hobbies you can do if possible. Do not let the disability rule your life or define you. "If it's painful just stop" isn't the best advise because you can cause further damage. You didn't state what is causing the problems; I have a bi-level lumbar fusion, 2 more collapsed vertebrae in mid and upper spine, nerve damage affecting the left foot, osteoparosis, osteoarthritis and a few other things wrong. My doc told me to do what my back allowed, but I plod along and have discovered a few new hobbies. Whatever you do just take it easy and don't hurt yourself any further, please. It's going to be up to you to decide what you can or can't do. Good luck and I hope you find happiness in doing something you enjoy.

I have EDS a genetic disorder that causes early onset osteoarthritis and ligament damages because of hypermobility causing easy dislocations and sprains. My entire neck is riddled with osteoarthritis and nerve damage throughout my neck and down through my fingers. I frequently dislocate joints and sprain my ankles all the time. I suspect that my vertebrae are loose and wiggle around too much and that is why I've developed osteoarthritis, but they don't cooperate with the mri lol. It also causes severe muscle spasms that can last days, weeks, or months and causes problems with proprioception (the ability to unconciously know where your limbs are in relation to the space around you) which causes a lot of tripping, falling, knocking stuff over, balance problems oh so many things I've struggled my whole life with all connected to this stupid mutated gene.

It's a literal pain to deal with, but hey at least I get a cool party trick of being able to twist my feet around backwards and bend my fingers flat back. Lol

Does the anger ever get better? The resentment and the emotional pain and the bitterness that come with it? Not to mention the jealousy of watching others do so easily what you can't? I hate feeling like this. I'm a generally happy person who jokes about drawing the short stick. I laugh a lot at informercials with outlandishly clumsy people because I actually am a walking infomercial (the old guy that throws the popcorn bucket out the window? Yep done that!) And I hate feeling so angry at the person next to me who can easily do a flying roundhouse while I struggle to knife hand.

I love my taekwando and I will fight until I can no longer walk to keep going. It's my outlet. When I'm fighting I feel like I'm fighting my own disorder instead of a punching bag. It makes me feel less helpless and that's what I cherish most.

@LadyAlyxandrea , my anger eventually subsided to an acceptable level but on occasion it pops back up. Now it's mostly a quick episode of sorrow or longing. For a long time I felt cheated because I thought things like this don't happen for another >15 years or so, that was where most of my anger came from.
I try to reason with myself using the example of remembering how I felt as a child while playing with a large box. That box could be anything from a car to an airplane or a house to the imagination of a child. I can't do that anymore but I do fondly remember how I felt. I try to transfer that onto the the things I can't do now compared to a few years ago. I attempt to reason the feelings with the box are now unobtainable due to my changing brain and body chemistry, using that example to apply to "I can't do the things I used to because my body is changing" (I try not to use the phrase "My body is getting older" as that can cause problems with acceptance).
I finally gave up, I quit fighting the limitations and told myself to be realistic (I feel it was the best thing I have done since the diagnosis). I began to live within the limitations and found I wasn't quite so limited as I was afraid of being. By living within the limitations I have become mentally stronger and I am not defined by the limitations but how much I can actually do physically. Just don'y push yourself too far and make things worse.
It will take time and it's difficult to do, I won't lie to you about that. If you can come to acceptance you will be more at peace with yourself and with life.
Sorry for the rambling and I hope this makes some kind of sense to you.

@MacTavish I didn't find it rambling. It was very nice of you to share your experience. Thank you


I have a few friends who became disabled following cycling accidents, Some of them then took up martial arts as it allowed them to maintain fitness by concentrating on the other parts of their bodies and build on it to develop styles that suited them. My guess would be martial arts are a very good sport for many disabled people!

Jnei Level 8 Mar 1, 2018

I feel for you, and as someone with an invisible disability, I've experienced similar. I decided, don't give up what you love until you absolutely can't do it anymore. The things you love the most give you the energy to do them. That said, Tai chi IS slow motion martial art and you might enjoy it.


I can empathize, it is very frustrating...chronic pain, fatigue and illness have robbed me of most of the things I have enjoyed. I try to adapt, find new hobbies and pay attention to my body and limitations.

Take away my job, my video games, and my taekwando and I'm just a movie addict withering away in a basement apartment somewhere. I fear that.


Oh yeah....I have lots of injuries...broken bones and the like...if you want to do an art that you can expand upon, become damn good at, and have body issues, JU JITSU!!! Taekwando is awesome, though....don't want anyone coming over and tornado kicking me into the next year....anger is good, you can convert that to energy....positive energy....

Lol you Crack me up

@jorj You have to train with respectful people...people who want you to succeed as well as themselves. Knee bar go bad? Just thinking about that...ohhh...ick. Ouch.

@jorj I was a year older than that when I began training...MMA wrestling...but I saw after about a year that a serious injury was in my future and a health issue emerged that made it unlikely I was going to be able to get a pro-fight...I am a heavy weight, so we can fight older...haha


I hear you.

I can't do any impact exercise at all anymore. I'd end up in a knot of spasticity.

Yes it's hard to give up things you love!

You can find new loves though.

I don't know but are there any martial arts that are move about movement than impact?

I did Yoga (In a classroom) for 7 years - and the teacher was aware of my disabilities. Therefore no inversions etc... But I really enjoyed it. When I went into "Cobra" one day and my neck and back both locked up - I had to give it up.(no not the first time I'd locked up on the mat). But there are still poses I can do.

Also the breath learning was awesome.

You were the one who said your sister has EDS right? you might also. Dystonia (chronic muscle spasms) are very common in it and it's genetic.

@LadyAlyxandrea My niece's wife. So no blood relation.

I have Fibro and CFS - also degeneration in the discs of the neck and lower back. It makes life interesting.

@ScienceBiker collegen v

@RavenCT I bet. Sorry to hear that


I can honestly say I have no idea of what you are going through, I had to look up EDS. You sound like one tough woman. I can say we are here and I wish you the best. PS - I have always thought about trying Tai Chi...

I do my best to be tough lol and thank you for looking it up, most people wouldnt care to know that badly


Do what you enjoy while you can.
My daughter gets down sometimes, and it is her martial arts and her friends there that keep her going, she is not disabled but life is still tough.
I have a friend who has been on disability for almost 20 years, been very ill at times, but goes to the gym for weights then the pool for long swims, the only times she doesn't is when she is in hospital. Do it and never feel guilty.


Somewhat. I was in a dance ensemble for 3 years but just recently decided to go back into it by joining another ensemble. I sprained my ankle on the first day there and that was the first time I ever sprained it, so not walking properly wasn't fun. Nor was waiting 3 months to get back to it, despite wanting to go back ASAP.


Do not go quietly into that cold, dark night. Fight it with everything you have. I don't necessarily have a disease but I know what it's like to receive body blows after body blow and it seems like you can't do any of the things you love. With you in the struggle. Peace.


I was diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis about 6 years ago and it brought a fulfilling, active and deeply loved life to a screeching halt. get out there and find and experience joy whenever and wherever you can regardless of what anyone else says or does.
This is your life and nobody else has to live it but you.


EDS - Ehler's Danlos Syndrome.

My niece's wife has this condition (it's genetic). So I recognized it immediately from @LadyAlyxandrea

It's a connective tissue disorder and can lead to frequent dislocation(s). Obviously pain (chronic).

See here: []


if you don't use it you lose it. I'm mentally and physically disabled but always push myself.


I don't have any disabilities, but I talk to people every day that do. Hello, I'm possibly your claims examiner. Actually the odds of that are pretty slim. I say do what you need to do for your mental health as long as you can do it and it isn't further disabling you.

Well hello! Nice to meet you! I find that it's currently straining and exacerbating my disability, but simply because I'm still learning my limitations and postures. I sprain my ankles walking on flat surfaces, so I'm trying to learn how to move without doing these. I start occupational therapy Monday to work on my fine motor skills, and in two weeks I'll be seeing a neurologist again to address ways to attempt getting some proprioception to limit damages. To say taekwando furthers my disability, I don't believe would be accurate since nothing happens there that doesn't happen walking to the bathroom at home.

I decided when I'm in a wheelchair 30% of the time, I'll quit, but as long as I can move these wobbly stupid limbs, I'll keep going.

I just hope a claims person doesn't see this as evidence I'm faking. I mean, I do have extensive evidence I'm not, but my work comp case showed me people will try to use anything they can against you and I'm scared of that.

@LadyAlyxandrea You're right, we have to look at all the evidence we can get. Work comp is more narrowly focused than STD is. WC looks at if it is work related, STD is overall disability. Life can be disabling. Taekwondo could be part of your therapy to help you get better. I hope you have a good experience and you get the medical help/advice you need to get back to good health.

@HippieChick58 I appreciate the advice. My pain specialist thinks it's beneficial to me both emotionally and physically


You did not tell us why you have this disability. I have in the past been disabled, once at age 49, when I hydraplaned on wet pavement and hit a concrete driveway culvert, head on. I ruptured discs in my neck and lower back. Plus, I did not get the proper PT, after the accident and I refused to get surgery. It took way over a year to recover past that pain. Then, I had arthritis set in and for the next 15 years I was not without pain. Off and on I got some relief from PT and also, when i worked out at fitness center to build all my body muscles. I did get complete relief after I had lower back surgery, last year. It is like a miracle. But, I am an exception, not the rule and I can't say exactly why I am completely pain free now. But, what I can say, looking back...I was struggling with so many different things in my life! I was divorced, had no meaningfull work and could barely support myself. I had a few friends, but no support from my family. And, worst of all, I was in the throes of finding out who/what I really was. Because, I was not grounded in any kind reality of who I was. I was just 'acting' a part that I made up as I went along. I believe, I would have helped myself more...had I concentrated all my efforts on developing my 'inner personal self,' body would have been 'happier!' No one size fits all...but, know yourself, honor the needs of your body! One must not go blindly, if something does not agree with your core value, then skip that...whatever, you do, it should add to your overall strength and wellbeing, not deplete it.

It's a genetic disorder that causes a plethora of issues like hypermobility with connective tissue damage and dystonia. When I was 14 I was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis after tearing all the ligaments in my knee. When I hit 23 I destroyed my shoulder because I turned wrong when lifting a 45 pound dog. I have now learned I have early onset osteoarthritis throughout my cervical spine and nerve damage all through my neck and arms into my hands. It's degenerating at a fast rate and no one seems to know what to do since the procedures and treatments aren't helping and they are adamant against a full neck fusion at a young age, which also will probably not reduce the damage done. My joints are essentially destroying themselves because I have a mutation in my genetic code.

If they had learned that I had EDS sooner they could have prevented a lot of the damage I have now, but it's so unknown by most doctors that it wouldn't have been possible to find it earlier.

@LadyAlyxandrea Did you have JRA on top of the EDS? Because that's just "ugh". Unfair.

@RavenCT not JRA I don't test for the RA factor, but regular arthritis

Rolling my eyes at myself. I should know the difference.

Storm coming in here and just terrible (pain) night - hoping to sleep in the daytime.

Barometric swings of legendary proportions are not my friend.
Also probably not your's either.

Hang in there.

@LadyAlyxandrea I am so sorry, that you have this painful challege to deal with. I can tell you that I have no rotor-cuffs, they both have been repaired and came back out! So now I would need replacement joints in both shoulders. My neck is still out and somewhat stiff. But, I have no pain. And none of that depression that I had for last 30 years. I wish everyone had my luck, because pain can be a distraction from living. I did have a lot of psychotherapy over the years and I would think that it gave me a hand up. There is also a lot of pain, in my family, so we may have a predisposition to something, that has never been diagnosed! I would like to say, don't give up and work with what you have going for you at this moment. You are still, a person with talents and skills and hopes and dreams. Stay connected to them as that is 'who' you is easy to fall into the belief, that you are your pain. My, 95 yr old neighbor, who had a very painful knee and heart problems, that prevented having surgery...was always saying, we 'must do stuff, that will distract us from our pain' I found the same thing to be true. Live your life, not your have a purpose to fullfill, regardless of your of luck and keep posting!

@RavenCT ...funny, that you brought up that, barometric pressure, as I also coped with that for years...heard many other people complain about it, too!

@LadyAlyxandrea I should report that my lower back surgery was only to remove the arthritis, but 'they' nicked my spinal column and for the next 2 months it leaked and made a large pouch at the bottom of my back. So I had to have second surgery to repair the nick and it was after that, when I have become pain and depressed free! I want to find out, if it had something to do with that leaking spinal fluid, that cleared out something? It is connected to the brain, too.

@RavenCT I feel you, I woke up at 330 this morning and have been struggling to get back to sleep.

@Freedompath it's entirely possible. The human body is so complex and strange and there is so much we still don't understand. I'm putting my faith in genetic alterations, hoping they can somehow remove the mutated gene and replace it with a healthy one, or stem cells can reverse damages but it is costly and risky to try. I am glad you are pain free at least, even if it's a mystery.


what is your disability?

EDS, early onset osteoarthritis of the entire cervical spine, severe nerve damage throughout neck shoulders arms hands and fingers

@LadyAlyxandrea i can see your point and the docs point. you will just have to do what makes you feel best emotionally and physically.that is a tough situation


I feel you, more than you know.
The only thing I'm going to say about the physical exertion is that, even if you're not doing a
full work-out, the fact that you still attend the class, can be used against you.
Good luck with your claim, I hope it goes through smoothly and you don't have to fight.
It's really difficult to adjust to an entirely new reality. One that's been forced on you, through
no fault of your own. It's going to take time, and probably a lot of effort, but it CAN be done.
You'll learn new ways of doing things. You'll be okay. Feel free to message me if you need
to talk, rant, cry, or otherwise vent.

I appreciate your advice and your willingness to listen to me vent. It really means a lot to me, as my family is pretty tired of my whining.

I would have to say F&*# what they consider your “whining” because what is actually happening is they are invalidating your feelings. Do they live your life? A person who loves you deeply and unconditionally like all of our “Friends” and “Family” are supposed to would take the time and effort to make you a priority to sit and listen to you with empathy, attempted understanding, love and value until the cows come home.
And then if you still felt the need to vent they may have to say “I’ve got this going on but I’ll get back to you ASAP.” Then even if you have the same thing to say they listen again....maybe try to give you advice (but not get pissed if you don’t take it) because again IT IS YOUR BODY. But simply being a compassionate human being means just listening to someone in a genuine heartfelt way.
So if you ever need that you know where to find me.@LadyAlyxandrea


Have your tried yoga? You may enjoy it.


I hope you keep doing what you love. Even if it is hard to.
I have Fibramialgia and the best thing I ever did for it was get into lifting weights and eventually into competative powerlifting. Resistance training has been shown to really help with many conditions like this. But even more if you love it and it inspires you. Sure you could switch to yoga or something but would it inspire you?
And remember we can be affected by placebo and nocebo, so if you tell yourself you can do it, it will likely have better results than telling yourself you can't.


I looked up eds on wikipedia. nasty disease. marijuana couldhelp with pain and will feel better. i have disability and not ashamed to be on welfare as I am worthy of what I get I have the internet. It is good you are doing martial arts but there is no point in being angry as that is just futile. Good news, CRISPR, gene editing technlogy is in trail for use in humans and your faulty gene can be replaced. Give is 5-10 years and you can be cured. There is one unciviled and backward country that does NOT have Universal Health Care and cheap medicines (which they could easily). I live in Australia and medical treatment is FREE here, Google CRISPR and have hope. Cheers!


But to more directly answer you. Hurt my shoulder in tkd, newb kept hitting me80-90%, (supposed to be going through new moves 10%at the time so I thought I could continue). Ended up having shoulder surgery, off tkd a year, couldn’t run, tried walking, couldn’t keep new dog leash controlled when she saw a deer. Fell in ditch! Face bloody, oh, gained 20# cuz eating same but zip for exercise. Sensei moved. 2 yr now, just doing a little exercise. Getting there but I don’t recover so fast at 68! There’s mountains I want to climb! Oh wah, I guess they ll wait...


You can beat your body into submission and it will merely submit briefly- or you can make friends with your body,don’t force it anymore than you would any other friend- a little teasing here or there of course, but don’t be mean! And your body will go where you need to go.
I think yoga is great for martial arts!


I am sorry. I do understand the anger, I was an active person, when my knees and back had OA, and I had to go on disabilty. I used to bike all over and the Dr. says that is going to be painful and hard on my knees (it is), he did not forbid me from doing it though. I was not very angery, but I had a lot of greiving to do. I lost a part of who I was. I should be happy, I went from bed-bound for 2 years, to being able to get out.


Better make sure no private investigator is following you. They may provide evidence with photos of you doing taekwando to deny your disability claim.

Taekwando, or any martial arts, can be low impact. But insurers may see it differently - if you don't provide proof that you're following a low-impact version of it.

But, yeah, it sucks being limited to what you can do.

I do have statements from my pain specialist that he encourages me to continue within my abilities and that he has barred me from participating in sparing (darrrrn I really want to spar!) So I'm hoping that, along with testimony from Master Sebilia will help


What are your disabilities from ,may I ask

Genetic disorder of the connective tissue

Alright i see, im very sorry

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