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THE AGNOSTIC BIBLE STUDY GROUP --

Who wants to form a bible study group right here on Agnostic? Why a bible study group, you ask? Well, so we can all learn the truth of God's Word, of course. A quick overview of some of the things we'll cover include:

  • Why we're ALL worthy of eternal punishment because some woman ate a peach 6000 years ago.

  • The TRUTH of GOD's plan for YOU. Yes, for YOU specifically. No more wondering ever again.

  • Why it's godly to hate the damn GAYS for doing all that...y'know, gay stuff.

  • Why women should be SILENT and subservient to MEN and have dinner ready promptly at 6:00p.

  • The undeniable, never fail, 100% reliability in the awesome POWER of PRAYER and how it always works.

  • How invisible, magical people in the sky ARE real and makes perfect sense.

And so much more!

Vote below.

View Results
Sgt_Spanky 7 Mar 19

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15 comments

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0

Such a wonderful guide it is...

0

The votes are in! Five of you want to bathe in the glorious Word of the Alpha and the Omega but eight of you want to wallow in ignorance, your lives bereft of eternal truth.

Ignorance and bereft wins nut you'll be sorry when you're all burning in HELL.

0

I rather study a roll of toilette paper.

zesty Level 7 Mar 20, 2019
0

Read it cover cover, which is what made me an atheist. Have fun, though.

1of5 Level 8 Mar 20, 2019
1

Name change needed
The goat herder's guide to the galaxy study group. Hundredth member gets a free unicorn.

0

I'm in! Though not for the reasons one might think...

That's okay. God knows your reasons and so long as they don't offend Him, He will not smite you for them.

2

I'm always interested in learning more about Jaysus and how his daddy had him slaughtered so I can be saved. Such an inspiring story!

Testify sister! The Logic of God would be a lesson all its own.

0

It wasn't a peach, it was an apple. What's wrong with you? Are you some kind of prevert?

Technically, it wasn't actually identified as anything but "the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil" so it can be whatever anyone wants it to be and I say it was a peach. And, yes, I'm a pervert. What of it?

@Sgt_Spanky So was that Allman Brothers album part of the story?

@Sgt_Spanky These are exactly the kind of "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin" arguments that the religious can become engaged in. So glad to have long since left all that behind. Life is way too short ...

0

I don't want to join the study group because I know all that, but if you offer a bible with nude photos and indecent drawings...I'll join!

The Bible has no such sinful imagery but you may open a separate window of porn if necessary.

0

But I already know all those things.

Then come for the Holy Jello shots.

@Sgt_Spanky Leave the light on, I'll be right over.

0

Seriously, I don't study it now but I have in the past.

I think most of us have in the past. That's why we're all here now.

1

already done a bunch of Bible studying. more than enough I'd reckon.

You can never know enough truth. It's like turning down a raise because you feel you already make enough money.

@Sgt_Spanky yes i can.

My time might be better spent reading War and Peace

@btroje i was thinking naps, but suit yourself.

0

"Buy Bull"?

3

I am interested. Why did ancient men make a promise by grabbing each other's bits and now that is just not the done thing at all apparently. I love all the fairy stories. Can we include other religious texts?

Clasping one another's junk was God's preferred way of confirming an agreement between men. It fell out of fashion after harrassment became actionable. Other religious texts are acceptable so long as they proclaim JC our Lord and Savior

@Sgt_Spanky Can you imagine these days?

@Amisja We've lost so many wonderful gifts of the Father: slavery, stoning, underage concubines...it's so sad. 😟

@Sgt_Spanky Oh don't forget incest and my favourite...turning into salt!

@Amisja You are so right. There's a little quoted story in the Book of Shecky of a woman turned into a bulb of garlic for blaspheming the size of God's ass.

@Sgt_Spanky hahaha

1

Lol. I don’t know how to choose. Just hearing the words magical people in the sky makes me laugh, but I was thinking I would like to lose 5 pounds and your puking, runs program sounds like it might do just that. Hahaha.

LB67 Level 7 Mar 19, 2019

God in His infinate wisdom created puking and the runs for us all to enjoy.

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