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Is it better to remain in the closet or profess your disbelief?

I have been an atheist for a few months now after a lifetime of guilt, shame and indoctrination. I am a member of a church with my believing wife (she knows) and my beautiful children. I have decided not to tell anyone but my wife and like-minded individuals about my disbelief to avoid further complications with relationships or interactions. I wonder if there is anyone else in my congregation dealing with the same thing.

Snake91 4 Mar 20
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9 comments

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1

A question to give serious thought...and your instincts are the ones you should follow. Only you can know your situation and what is best for you and yours. Best of luck to you....try taking each day, and each encounter with thought.

1

It took me years to be completely open about it. I don't try to convince others, I don't fight about it, but if they ask questions I tell them what I think and why. I have many many friends who are religious and they know I'm an atheist. I think it's important that they know simply because they can see people can do kind generous and loving things without being because of God; and they do notice.

eq2u Level 2 Mar 21, 2019
0

I love how supportive this community is. I downloaded this app last night because I needed someone to talk to about this whom I could relate to. Thank you all for taking time to respond to my post ?

1

Early on, it feels like you should tell people, since you’ve came to a new conclusion about things and don’t want people assuming all the old things about you that aren’t true. The reaction is usually that you are not taken seriously. Believers don’t think anyone can really be an atheist, that you are just having “spiritual problems.” Once you stop going to church, and begin to form a circle of friends outside of the church, eventually things settle back into the rhythms of daily life and people just accept the new situation.

0

It depends upon the situation and environment: people within my inner circle of life know but in many work situations, I keep it to myself because I don't need or want someone to have a reason not to do business with me (I sell commercial real estate).

1

I think most people are nones at this point

I'll be the first admit that I really clung my religion and sought confirmation bias. The deeper I dug the more cognitive dissonance I was experiencing. I was trying answer the hard questions like the distant light problem and I didn't like my answers from the Christian side. I was often prompted buying DVDs and other materials that would "explain" these difficult problems from a biblical perspective. Most scientific research you can easily find on your own without spending a dime.

5

I don’t go around telling people that I don’t collect stamps. If someone on the rarest of occasions asks me if I collect stamps, I have no problem saying no.

That said, I’ve never been in a stamp collecting club. So I would not know how to end my membership if I stopped liking the hobby.

1

My family and close friends know.

If directly asked an annoying question from an acquaintance, such as, "Where do you go to church?"

I will sometimes drop the truth bomb just to see the look on their face.

1

it depends on your situation. for me it was not a matter of professing or hiding anything. no one was particularly interested in what i thought. if i was asked, or had occasion to mention it, when i was 15 (which is when i realized there were no gods) i was truthful. it didn't come up much; my family wasn't religious. are there practical consequences to telling people you don't believe in any gods? would you be shunned? is there something dishonest involved in not telling them (like telling them you DO believe, for example)? i mean, if they'd lynch you, keep your mouth shut. if they'd drop you, they were never your friends to begin with.

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