So I’m in the process of tying up lose ends in my ending marriage, ie doing some work on the house to prepare it for sale. I’m moving to Maine from SC(originally from CT) and I have to stay in “our” house in the spare bedroom, uncomfortable to say the least. We are ending a 34 year marriage and we’ve said some nasty things to each other since October. She told me to find someone who can give me the kind of sex I want, then she said I need a f_ _k buddy. That hurt me. Then I go on a coffee date and all hell breaks loose. I’ve been moving my belongings to Maine since January and every time I leave she cries. I simply do not understand what is going through her head. We’ve known each other since we were 10 and never dated until we both had failed first marriages in our early 20’s. Fun fun fun!
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Make No real decisions for at least a year, I promise you are Not in your right mind now!
And can you stay somewhere, anywhere else? Her knowing your every move is a BAD idea!
If you were near me, you could stay in my RV in the driveway.......
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Apr 6, 2019
1
Awe that’s so sweet. I’m good will be outta here by Friday or Saturday.
I currently share a house with my ex, basically because she can't afford to live in the area that will get our kids into the best schools in our area on her own. It's temporary, as her costs will go down dramatically as soon as all the kids are at school.
But it's certainly draining living with someone who makes no secret of the contempt they hold you in.
Anyhoo, strength and endurance to you (raises a glass across the Atlantic).
MrBeelzeebubbles
Level 7
Apr 6, 2019
0
I'm so sorry! That sounds miserable. I haven't got that far in my divorce yet & am dreading it. At least I won't have to stay in the same house-in fact I'd stay in my car if that was the only other option. I hope moving my stuff out won't take too many trips... He's coming to visit the kids for the first time next month though, & I haven't had to look at his face in 5 months. Ugh.
Well, I hope you can complete your move soon! Maine sounds wonderful!
Carin
Level 8
Apr 6, 2019
2
Sounds pretty bad for you both. Nasty breakup? We’re trying very hard not to do that, we have adult children and grandchildren we need to think of, but I’m moving 1100 miles away so I’m not going to have the opportunity to see anyone. I’m the one who needs the distance.
A lot of grieving starting here...When a marriage is over, it is confusing. You want to stay...you need to go, so you are stuck for a time at ‘in between.’ If the decision has been made, it is best to keep a forward motion, because rarely can a couple go back! It is more beneficial to face the ‘death,’ of the relationship and find a way to make peace with yourself and your soon to be former spouse. It is very difficult to leave a relationship, especially one that we have been in for a long time. It is just the nature of the beast...losses must be grieved in order to move on. I can empathize with you...and I am so sorry this had to be.
Freedompath
Level 9
Apr 5, 2019
5
Thanks!!! I’m doing WAY better than 2 months ago. I don’t want to leave her with all this work on the house, I’m trying to do the right things even though I HATE crawl spaces and SPIDERS. DAMN!
@sbboudreau61 i hate them too! But, stay with your honor, that is important to you.
@Freedompath I am.
Sorry...divorce is a special kind of hurtful hell. Kinda sounds like sex or the lack of it is the problem. Did you guys consider therapy for that issue?
Serenityseeker
Level 7
Apr 5, 2019
3
She refused for the last 20 years. She didn’t like being told she was wrong the one time she did go. I’m still seeing a shrink.
@sbboudreau61 Good for you. I think you are probably on the right track. Being alone can be tough but feeling that way when you have a mate is much worse. Best wishes to you.
Good luck going forward.
I was living in Windham, ME when my marriage ended.
I moved back down South before it was even final.
At least you're moving back North in the Spring.
I miss Maine all the time.
KKGator
Level 9
Apr 5, 2019
2
I did not know that was where you originated from...I have never been to Maine, but hear it is most beautiful...I would never survive the cold weather there! I hope you at least visit from time to time!
@Freedompath It's not where I "originated". I just lived there for nearly 10 years.
It's quite beautiful, even in the winters, which are brutal AF.
Haven't been back since I left in 2006.
I’m from CT so cold is doable. But much rather be in hot weather for sure.
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