Agnostic.com

26 5

Do you ever feel alone. I mean absolutely alone. When I'm in a crowd, surrounded by people, I could still feel helplessly alone.

MichealRay 5 Mar 5
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

26 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

4

Yes - absolutely is right ! There are times when I feel not only alone , but a total misfit. And though not necessarily a negative thing - a final thing. <sigh>

3

I find it ironically fascinating to think that this planet is crawling with humans, and yet so many of us have great difficulty in making meaningful connections. Even when we find kindred spirits, life is so tenuous that sooner or later we usually end up parting ways.

3

I can sympathize. Except for people at school, work, and servers/cashiers/clerks, I haven't had a real conversation with another human being in over a month. Even when I do talk to someone, I rarely feel any connection, it's like I'm just going through the motions. Then again, I live in the bible belt, so maybe that explains the disconnect on my part. That's what led me here. Hopefully this site will be beneficial for both of us. Good luck.

I can't even imagine what life in the bible belt must be like for someone like you. Meaningful connection is tough enough to attain here in California. Hang in there, buddy, and know that you're not alone.

3

I have felt that way. It sucks. You feel like you have a gaping hole in your chest and you have a massive weight on you.

It will pass. You will survive. Find someone you can help. Stay busy. It suck but it ain't forever.

Remember, why they tell us on an airplane to 'put the oxygen mask, on yourself first,' we deserve to be cared for, too! And sometimes, no one is around when our hurt comes. My best to you...

2

It's about connecting with others. Our culture is so superficial that many people don't know how to connect. When I'm surrounded by people like that, that's when I feel alone.

I agree that our culture is superficial, but then again, I've always been counter-culturally oriented. I prefer to ignore as many societal dictates as I can get away with. I am drawn to others who refuse to blindly accept the mass insanity that makes up the belief systems that so many people go along with. It's not always easy to unearth kindred spirits, but they're out there. That said, I learned a long time ago that no one can fill that existential void that so many of us experience. We just have to learn to accept it and do what we can to distract ourselves with things that bring us some pleasure.

2

Totally. I've never met anyone who has come close to being able and willing to communicate satisfyingly with me on topics that interest me on a level that engages me. People at best aren't interested and the conversation dies; at worst, are threatened, project, and turn actively hostile. I have long since accepted that I am and will continue to be intellectually alone in this world. There are worse fates.

P.S. I don't style myself some super genius or anything--just smarter than average, philosophical, deeply reflective, and interested in exploring weird, subtle ideas for its own sake. Evidently that's rare enough...

2

Yes! Everyone is alone, looking up at the Universe, and around at Nature, culture and family. We may not always feel alone; although, it is a fact of existence every moment of our lives. We can recognize that being alone is natural and shared by everyone, so we have company being alone.

Yes! I have felt lonely. Our feeling lonely is often the result of an event or condition we experience, such as loosing a friend. But sometimes lonliness settles on us for no particular reason.

Feelings are part of living, some we like and some we don't. I hope you can be happy that you do feel.

Couldn't agree more!

2

"Sittin' in the corner
Of a crowded bar room,
People all around me
And I still feel alone.
Just when I know
I'm gonna break down and cry
Someone plays the tune
That dried the tear from my eye.". The Outlaws

The first time I heard that lyric, I thought "finally somebody gets me! I was probably in my teens at the time.

2

You may be feeling more vulnerable than usual. When I am not clearly connected to myself, I can feel that way. The only way that I have found to get a better understanding of my feelings, is first to name them and then challenge their truth. Are they reasonable, or have I allowed my feelings to run amuck? Even when they are reasonable, we must take some action to nurture us...people hurt...sometimes a hurt comes out of the past and gives us a run for our money. Be with the hurt, and look at it in a new light, because at one time we were hurt by whatever it was. It will loose it's hold on us, if we accept it and realize that we are stronger now and can let it go. We can love ourselves, no matter what has happened to us and we can respect ourselves, when we make amends for our own errors. You are not alone, with your challenge, you can plant your concerns here. Because, some of us have stood in your spot and do have some notion about how to move forward! I care that you are hurting...

2
1

Yes, and it usually has to do with what is going on inside my head and not being in a place where I feel I can freely and safely express, react to, or even just sit with it. It's one reason I wear sunglasses in public sometimes, even on cloudy days. Sounds crazy, but I'm a little crazy myself and it makes me feel less vulnerable.

I like what LimeySteve said below too. I wanna add that to my list of lonely times. Being surrounded by people who I feel are not interested in me as a human being or are judging the shit out of me is also among the loneliest circumstances. Thankfully, that one I can and do avoid like the plague!

We're all a little crazy, or at least deeply eccentric. It's just a part of human nature. Paramahansa Yogananda one remarked that "planet earth is the insane asylum of the cosmos." That makes me cringe and laugh---I really do think he was right!

1

yes for sure

1

I never feel alone. It sucks. There’s always some jerk there. If you need solitude, you can’t get it. If you dislike solitude, it’s always there. Sucks.

1

Yep. I think everyone does sometimes. Hang in there ? you can always talk to us

1

This is so much the human condition.

Friendship helps.

1

Certainly lonely, more lonely in a crowd than when isolated.

0

For a fun experiment or experience in aloneness...

Try an a long offshore passage on a boat. You can be on a sailboat with 5 other people, but 100s of miles from the nearest anything or anyone. I've been where we haven't even seen a passing commercial vessel for more than 24 hours.

While you have your immediate companions there on the boat with you, it still evokes a sense of being alone that I've never felt otherwise.

0

Society makes this, you might take an online test for Autism/asperger's and see where you fall on the scale, I'm medium assburger's myself, prolly from vaccinations

0

The universe inside of my head is so much bigger and colorful and more fascinating than anything going on around me, so I crave being alone. Not all the time, but often.

0

Quite often. It can be very depressing at times. It doesn’t help that I moved to a new city recently and know very few people. I so wish I could live around like-minded people. I’ve heard the people in Portland, Oregon are pretty progressive. I will visit there sometime soon. Loneliness sucks. I think you can be in a relationship and still be lonely (i.e. the last 8 years of my marriage).

0

I often am alone, but am accustomed to and comfortable with my own company. I am sometimes uncomfortable in crowds and quickly remove myself from them. I've been an outsider much of my life. I have on occasion felt lonesome, but never hopeless.

I have only seldom felt lonesome in a crowd or other location. I used to enjoy making up stories about worker bees on their lunch breaks and kept myself entertained for hours. Mercy, the adventures those people had! If your creativity doesn't flow in that direction, keep track of those folks wearing argyle socks, (One of them might be me.) Or do a random good deed. Focus outward when you feel hopelessness creeping close.

0

Yeah. It's called clinical depression :/

0

Not always but often.

0

It's a relative constant. It can even happen in a crowd of people I know. For me, it comes from feeling that I have little in common with people.

0

In some crowds I am glad to feel alone

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:33047
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.