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I just need to kvetch.
I bought a house last year. It's been mine for 14 months one week and 6 days. I've lived in it now for 8 months one week and a day.
It may not be my dream house but it is a dream of a house. It is a split level 3/3 on 4 wooded acres on the side of a hill. There is a huge front deck, an above ground pool with a deck and another deck with a shed.
The house was abandoned in August 2015. There was squirrel damage and plumbing issues. I fixed all of that, mostly on my own. I built a whole wall of shelves for my books and hung slatboard to hang my instruments. There is still a lot to do but I enjoy doing it and love the house. I love the land.
I fucking hate my nextdoor neighbor.
He owned this house once. He sold it to his son-in-law in 2006. Yeah, he always refers to his SIL and not his daughter. They abandoned the house in 2015. A flipper bought it in 2017 but never got around to flipping it and I bought it for cash.
So, he seems to still think he has domain over my property. When I first met him, he said he was a supporter of the cheeto, unsolicited, so I'll admit my opinion of him was low from the get go.
There was a dumpster at the foot of my driveway and a bunch of used building material when I bought the house and for the first several months. I put my wee bit of trash in the dumpster when I spent weekends out here. Finally, I gathered all the crap and put it all in the dumpster.
The neighbor came up and said the material and the dumpster was theirs. They intended to use the material. I said it was great they recycled. He said I could use the dumpster if I chipped in the cost. I agreed.
A few days later, I had guests over helping me repair my deck when he drove up again. He said there was no way there would be room in the dumpster for 3 families as his other son-in-law was building a house behind theirs. I generate 4 bags of trash a month but whatever. I said that was fine but if I had no access to this dumpster, it would not be parked on my land.
He blew a fucking gasket. I'm only glad I had witnesses. Now when I talk about this idiot, they nod.
After that, I found my mailbox filled with sugar and ants. Then there were utility flags in my yard. I called 811 and found that no utility put them out. My septic tank is on this guy's land. The original owner of this house owned 4 tracts of land. The septic tank was put at the bottom of the hill on a different tract than the house sits. When the neighbor bought this house, he only bought 3 tracts. When he sold it, he sold it with 2 tracts and built his house on the third, right beside the septic tank. Which seems weird, but....
Anyway, he keeps throwing that at me. But I bought the house with no objections from a guy who bought it with no objections. The time to bitch about the septic tank was a few sales ago. There is nothing he can do, except sabotage my septic tank, which I would not put past him.
Anyway, I'm writing today because this guy teaches art classes from his house. When I bought my house I thought it would be great to take lessons walking distance even though I live in the middle of nowhere. That aint happenin'. But his students park on my land. That really isn't a big deal. When I lived in the city, folks often parked in front of my house to visit neighbors. But this is daily and the neighbor has never once asked if I mind. You know, a courtesy ask.
Last year, I noticed he had his lawn service mow that bit of land. That I don't like. If you let someone use your land with no objection, it can become theirs at some point. So this year I decided I was going to stop the mowing, not the parking. The mowers came today, I took my trash can down with a sign on it that said, "Do not mow this side of the road."
There really isn't much grass there since these folks have put gravel down at some point. But I can't have them maintain my land. This house is my retirement egg. I have to protect it. And frankly, I am a stubborn bitch and he never asked if I mind.
So, I ran an errand at 5 and came home to find him standing in his driveway waiting. He asked about the sign. I said it meant what it meant. I wanted to make sure his crew didn't mow my land. Why? Because it is my land.
He was leaning into my car. I have an adult daughter with disabilities who was already upset. She didn't like this.
He said the one thing he should not have said. "We've been parking here for years. Why should that stop?"
If he's said, "Do you mind that our students park here?" or "Can we come to an understanding?" all would have been good. But he just seems to think that the fact that I wrote a check for a house his kids walked away from is meaningless.
This. House. Is. Mine.
But he said what he said and my daughter started to cry and I said I had to tend to her, excuse me. He did not get out of the car window. I drove off anyway.
There is a tiny meadow to the west of my house. It is their land. They'll never use it. It is up a steep hill (I live up a steep hill) There is no good access to it. I would gladly trade them use of that parking area at the end of my driveway for use of this little meadow where the deer were grazing earlier today. I'd scatter wildflower seeds and mow a path through it and gaze happily upon it. I'd let them park and mow to their hearts' delight.
But this asshole neighbor has no idea how to even start a civil conversation. He sees this bit of land that is across the street from his house as his. And, frankly, I feel that he finds talking to a woman beneath him, even though I am literally a foot taller than him. I suppose I could invite my son over, who is a foot and a half taller than this guy, but my son has less patience than I do and would literally swear at him.
Anyway, I just wanted to vent all of this where it could actually be seen by someone. Please, offer advice. I know I should take a breath and open an adult dialogue but this guy chafes my ass by his very existence anymore so that will have to wait at least 24 hours.

heymoe2001 5 Apr 16

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Assholes like this are everywhere, check your legal rights and fuck him and not in a nice way. He understands only force, invite your son but caution hi him about shoving this guys head up his ass . If he thinks he will get the crap beaten out of him, he will be more respectful


So glad you're getting a new septic system. It is very important that no one parks on a septic system. I hope you don't have to get a lawyer but if he does one more thing after the septic system is replaced that is your only choice. Please let us know outcomes. Welcome to Oklahoma the reddest state in the nation filled with 34% decent human beings and you know about the rest.


These comments have helped so much. I am an introvert by nature anyway although I will and do stand up for myself and others. The idea of talking to folks unprepared is stomach churning.
Hearing what others have to say has helped. I'm not just a whiny little bitch. This guy is a bully. Thank you Creative51 for that very accurate label. He is, indeed, bullying me. I've never liked a bully.
I've gotten an estimate for a new septic system. It is way cheaper than I expected (and the guy agrees that my neighbor is a jerk). I've contacted city hall, thank you Aryn. The city planner is looking into my options.
I've gotten an estimate on a fence.
My land is a little weird. The road ends at my driveway. About 35' of my property lies on the east side of that road then my driveway goes up to the SE. My land extends another 400' up the hill. There is an easement on the north property line allowing for a road to reach the house at the very top of the hill. The flat area between the easement and my driveway is the area in dispute. A small area, maybe 20' x 15'. But it is MY little area.
The neighbor's house sits directly across from this flat spot on the west side of the street. The easement, btw, was supposed to go through THEIR yard but that changed sometime before I bought this house, possibly when the fellow built the house on top of the hill, possibly when these people built their new house beside the septic tank. I have no problem with the easement. I don't even really have a problem with folks parking on my land. I just cannot have anyone claiming that land as their own.
If the neighbor won't understand that, the septic tank will be moved to the flat (parking) area and a fence will be built along my west property line.


It may be time for a lawyer to step in and take over communication with this bully.


Seriously, this guy is a bully. You really need a good lawyer to deal with him. You will never get him to be reasonable. Get a "junk yard dog" lawyer to defend your rights, or he will always be messing with you.


I would approach ask him about the trade of the meadow for the parking area. He will say no of course but it may be something "he" thinks of offering later.

Cordon off that area his students park on with no parking signs and install a new septic system.

Yes, he still sees it as his land and wants to establish dominance over you. So far he appears to be succeeding.

You have to get this sorted out now because most states require disclosure of known issues and this situation could come back to bite you when you want to sell.


I would put up a sign saying no trespassing this property is under camera surveillance. It is up to you whether you put up a camera but I would. If possible, I’d put up a fence, and get a lawyer. Without proof there isn’t much a lawyer or police can do. His word against yours. The surveillance camera will have the proof you may need in the future. Good luck with this ass h***.


A difficult situation. I had a similar experience years ago and I hired a lawyer and got the local police involved. It didn't help that much but made me feel a bit better. Whatever you do it will cost a bit. From your post it is difficult to envisage the exact layout and who has access where but would it possible to erect fences round your boundaries where the problems occur.
May be worth moving the septic tank on to your land.


i think you need to get a restraining order to keep him and his friends off your land and him out of your face. a fence may be necessary. if he touches the fence, you can get him for destroying your property. do you have a deed and whatever comes with a deed that tells you where the borders of your property are? if you don't, get that. have a copy handy for disputes. (and find out whether that meadow is for sale! if you have to have a straw purchaser for it that's fine; they may even be able to pretend to sympathize with him and he may let something damaging slip!)



This is very difficult with neighbor like that. I am not aware of the laws where you live but I know they don't matter in the long run. If someone wants to be horrible they will, and in the US where guns are readily available, I would worry.


sad..that's an example of why i live in a complex where i can complain about idiot neighbors & get something done immediately. never had to in 3 1/2 yrs.
if i was in your situation i'd probably blow the ignorant SOB away.


Get an attourney, put up trail cams, start saving for a new septic tank.


Personally, I would call the cops, file for a restraining order, and mark the boundaries of the property. He seems to have personal boundary issues and thinks he can bully you into giving him his way. You shouldn't have to deal with him on your own.


Start saving up for a new septic system.

Pretty sure my tax refund will got to a septic system. Built, btw, in the only other place it could be which is where they park.


Hire a lawyer. He is a jerk. Let the attorney deal with him.


Mark your property's boundaries and enforce that he not cross them. i.e. no student parking etc.

If he persists then put up a sign that his students can see; you choose the wordage.

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