My mom told me a story of when she was younger and worked at the nursing home how there was this beautiful and wonderful woman there she cared for. The woman never married and had no children and my mother thought it was such a terrible waste for such a wonderful person to spend her end of life alone.
One day my mom asked her why she had never married or had a family, and the lady told my mother that the man she had fallen in love with died in the war before they could get married.
She had tried dating other men, but no one she ever met held her interest at all. She wasn't unhappy about it, though, as she said she was content to wait until she was reunited with her lover and she had lived a full and rewarding life without marriage and children.
My mother told me this story because she felt I was very similar in a way, in that the man I loved and I would never be together and since then I had never shown any real interest in anyone else.
7
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4 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Those are touching stories. I think that happens to people more often than we think it does. I've been broken a few times and felt I just didn't have enough heart to love again. I kept trying, but nah. And being alone isn't such a waste. The idea that you're only a complete or whole person when you're paired up and or have kids is kind of a fairy tale anyway.
After reading all the comments I see there are a number of different things that are being talked about here, but I'm not going to comment on them other than to say that. Nothing negative, just different things.
AlbertSchepis
Level 7
Apr 18, 2019
0
Do what makes you happy!
I had Maiden Aunts. hahaha - I wonder if they were? No one is going to call me that - I'll bloody well correct them.
But they seem plenty fulfilled. They led busy lives - and because the three sisters had each other in their old age - they led richer lives. Though they had separate apartments right up til' they died. But two were in the same building. (They could have togetherness when they wanted.).
You know we called them maiden aunts? And I'm thinking about it and two of them had kids and lost their husbands young? Hmm... interesting. I wonder if they ever smacked a younger person upside the head?!
They certainly had the spunk even in my day.
RavenCT
Level 9
Apr 17, 2019
3
You know, I understand what you are saying, but, instead of trying to find a replacement for him, I would say find someone to do things with. Doesn't have to be a replacement for your loss, just something to do.
Unclehotrod
Level 7
Apr 17, 2019
1
I wouldn't say I'm looking to replace him, but rather I'm looking for someone who completes me more than he did. In the end that someone is myself, though. Will I ever find another best friend to spend the end of my days with? Maybe. Until then I'm content gliding down the river.
Could you possibly be justifying your asexuality by saying the man you love is somehow unattainable?
brentan
Level 8
Apr 17, 2019
1
But why would she need to justify her asexuality? 
Don't people that feel they are doing something wrong or something bizarre or immoral feel the need to justify their actions or themselves?
True. I never suggested that there was a need for justification, just that the person might feel a need to justify their feelings.
I never enjoyed nor desired sex even when I was with the man I had loved. I can be, and am, asexual and still desire/love. In the end neither my past love nor my sexuality are being used to justify either of the other. He and I did not work out, and that isn't really bad it just means that while we fit together perfectly like two puzzle pieces we were from different puzzle pictures. If I do find someone that matches me that well again but also has the same picture then sure I'll live happily ever after with them, but right now I'm content. And my sexuality will always be how it wants to be. I cannot, nor have any desire to change it.
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