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I was lucky enough to be born in a the bible belt in a family that didn't participate in a religion. Curiously, I was baptized out of peer pressure/conformity or some other bullshit. So, having always been a heathen, I feel for those who had faith and lost it. Having faith in anything important is a big part of your life. It must take courage, conviction and resolve to walk away from it. Keep this in mind when dealing with the new peeps that join

onthefire 7 May 3
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1

Faith is believing in someone or something without any evidence to back that belief. If you choose reason instead of faith, I do not see a justification for admiration nor pity, nor do I think it requires courage, conviction and resolve to choose science, evidence and reason. In fact, it seems logical and full of common sense to choose evidence, science and reason over faith.

0

I wasn't brought up in the "bible belt", but I like you wasn't raised in a religious household.
And I've also thought, or wondered the same about those who were brought up in that doctrination of whatever belief. I can only go by what others that I've me t along the way have told me.
But to farther, I have really come to find some real life courage in those who did "fall from grace" so to speak. I don't really know what it's like for them, as much as I could try. But those I have gone to know rather well IMHO are beacons of inspiration. It must take a level of "guts" for them to have lived that path.

0

It's a process and it's different for everyone. One reach a good level of awareness when regardless of the conversation, you know you don't really care and you don't even have to let it show.

1

I don't believe that I have ever heard an atheist say that they were lucky enough to be born in the bible belt.

It’s a difficult and profound love we have for our native soil. Like Liz and Dick, I imagine. Atheist, feminist, liberal, SJW here and I suspect I’ll never leave.

2

That is why I find the religious, " Morality can only come from religion. " so annoying. Since most none believers showed far more moral strength than the faithful ever did, when they chose to leave; and even those who never believed, but only choose not to join in, usually do so mainly for moral reasons.

5

I agree with you, although after reading the comments here, I might be the only person on this site who does! I just left the "Atheists" facebook group because of how negative and cruel and dismissive people were there, and I see a fair bit of it on this site, too. Many people who believe in God have spent years in church environments, and when you mock them for giving up what is labeled as a "crutch" or a "teddy bear," that's not a particularly warm welcome into the agnostic/atheist community. Many people also seem to feel they are superior to others because they have decided there is no god because they have not seen any evidence of god. No, we're just operating from a different set of assumptions. If we want more people to see the light of non-belief, we should not be condescending to them when they come with questions and need for reassurance.

2

I agree that it would be virtuous for us to be charitable, understanding and compassionate to "those who had faith and lost it".

But I think apostates don't really lose anything. They give up faith for something better. That something is being evidence based.

Science is cold comfort if one is leaving a close-knit community and (perhaps) being ostracized by friends and family. "Knowing you are right" doesn't make up for lonely dinners if you are used to having a community around you.

@citronella True. But there is a secular solution to that.

2

I don't see why it would take courage to walk away from anything once you understand and realize it is nothing but absurd BS and nonsense.

Often when people give up on religion, they are forced to move away from friends/family, at least emotionally. And it can be frightening to realize there is no big Power out there that will look after you. Not everyone who believes in God is stupid, and I think it is counterproductive to behave as though they are.

1

I'm extremely happy for those who "had faith and lost it".
We are ALL born atheists, it is our default position. Returning to that
default is the most natural thing in the world.
I will always celebrate a return to reason and logic.

What I always feel most badly about is people having to reconcile the fact
that those closest to them, lied to them. The ones they always trusted to tell them
the truth, encouraged them to believe in delusional bullshit. When they walk away,
they face the disapproval of those closest to them, and often the loss of those relationships.

I don't see losing an imaginary friend as something worthy of lamentation.
Losing family and friends, and sometimes employment, is much more
deserving of sympathy, and support.
That's what I'll offer my support for dealing with.

While I kinda agree with what you're saying, I think that you're missing the point. These folks have walked away from a big part of their life. Something that they leaned on. Depended on. It's gone now. Now they need us.

@onthefire I'm not "missing the point". What those folks have walked away from never existed in the first place. They know that now.

I am more than willing to offer my support for the REAL things they may have lost, leaned on, and depended on.
I believe that is more than sufficient.
There's no point in "mourning" the loss of delusions. I believe in celebrating
that, not mourning it.

If it makes you feel better to do that, go for it.
I choose to lend my support in other ways.

It doesn't make either of us wrong.
Different people are going to need different kinds and levels of support.
You do you, I'll do me.

@ToolGuy Of course, but you don't get to wallow. You're entitled to whatever feelings you have. BUT, the world keeps turning, and life goes on.

It's not much different than the end of a marriage/relationship.
You've invested, time, money, and energy into that, and then it's over.
You figure out how to move forward, while you're actually doing it. You still have to keep a roof over your head, food on the table, and the electricity on.
Everything doesn't screech to a halt and give you time to work through your hurt and loss and catch up.

Finding out gods and religion are bullshit is tougher for some than others.
I get that.
We cannot be all things to all people. Some of us are better at the "there, there, it'll be okay", while stroking the hair.
Some of us are better at "get up, take a shower, get dressed, and let's go get the utilities put in your name before they cut the lights off".

Don't assume those of us who are more of the "get on with it" types are any less supportive than the touchy-feely cuddly ones.
It's just a different kind of support, and it's no less valid and necessary than
any other kind.

@ToolGuy So that's what you came away with? Okeydoke.

1

Good post—we are all different. Be tolerant.

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