would that be for you or for her?
I understand you want to be true to yourself, but at what price

@m16566 For me it would be NOT submitting to her DEMANDS as I was forced to as a child who suffered much under her Domineering, Cruel, Brutal and Abusive ( in ALL the ways you can imagine btw) Reign and Rule, for her, it would be the visible and undeniable statement that she no longer OWNED, Rule over and Controlled me, a massive shock to her system to say the very least.
The price/cost, very little to me but to her, well I leave that to your imagination, but to me the benefit of becoming a TRUE survivor, free at last from her.
Btw, she died alone in April 2000 whilst I was by my teenaged Daughter's side 24/7 in Adelaide, South Australia while my Daughter was undergoing Chemotherapy for Mature B Cell Lymphoma.
We had Medical Permission to return to Broken Hill, some 300+ miles away for exactly 1 week to organize the burial ( cremation actually) of my 'mother(???)' before returning for the next session of chemotherapy and not one iota of a tear was shed by myself nor my daughter since my daughter had suffered from her Abusiveness as well.

it saddens me that you've had so much tragedy in your life.
I to feel victimized by my mother, I don't hold it against her though.
she was doing the best she could with what she knew.
she was young it had a lot of bad advice, I'm lucky I've done as well as I have.

@m16566 My 'mother(???)' was 33 y.o. when I was born so youth was no excuse or alibi.
Her mother was also a very bitter and often domineering person as well so perhaps it was 'like mother, like daughter' in a way BUT she adored and idolized my 4 sibling sisters yet detested me because I was NOT one of them.
It WAS only my Father and myself who copped her brutality, etc, NEVER my sisters and I always copped the blame and the lash from an electric cord for when they did something wrong but NEVER them.

it has been said" hate is a poison that you consume to kill your enemy"
are you working on those early childhood traumas, no disrespect it sounds like it's eating you, I do understand the pain runs pretty deep.

@m16566 Nope, I shrugged off those traumas ages ago, I AM a Survivor and shall always remain one and will support to my utmost those who seek to be survivors also.
That IS the reason why I relate the story because it may inspire someone else somewhere to stand up, fight back and become a Survivor rather than spend their life as a victim.

In a scenerio like the one you mention here, I would say, 'No'. I know myself.

The inner warrior in me will fight to the death before being forced to do anything that goes against my morals.

I'd take charge and lead a fight so brutal against my enemies, they would beg me to kill them or they'll just have to kill me.

If I'm going die on any given day under those circumstances, I'm going in a blaze of glory like a true badass!

if I could say what I had to say, Aveda lay and Escape I would.

why it sounds like you have some history with this question?
did you lie about your beliefs and somehow it came back to you?

@m16566 I was about 12 or 14 years old and at a revival service. (I come from a long line of Baptists) In my heart I didn’t believe the Christian message, but I allowed this sexy girl to talk me into going forward and saying that I had “accepted Christ”. It gave me a cheap feeling and I never got anything out of it—not even a kiss.

I lived the lie throughout adolescence but in college I got up the gumption to put my foot down. I’m still not an atheist BTW. There are god-like concepts that intrigue me greatly. I don’t actually “believe” those concepts. For me it’s not about belief or disbelief, rather it’s about reverence, and awe of the overwhelming mystery of existence as a consciously aware entity.