According to US media, sex = love = marriage.
Although marrying off a daughter used to be how a family got rid of extra expenses and hoped to profit from the groom's family, Hollywood invented "romantic love" and it's a recent idea.
I just watched The Sound of Music with my daughter and she was saying how romantic it was. Then a documentary explained that the only reason Maria married her employer is because the head nun ordered her to, and that she didn't even like the guy, and was mean to him.
A typical romantic plot from a few decades ago; two young people are hostile to each other, but eventually they kiss, and now they're "in love."
According to the Hollywood love cliche, this means they will now get married, be faithful to each other forever, have children, etc.
Now the kiss has been "upgraded" to sex, which seals the deal in "love."
Do people buy into this Hollywood lie? Apparently.
What people pretend to not know is that most men want to have sex with most women.
So having sex with someone doesn't necessarily mean anything except that the woman possibly put herself at risk for STDs, pregnancy, sexual assault, etc, perhaps because of believing that lie.
In case someone decides to attack me for saying this, I routinely block all men who are rude, crude, or lewd to me or any other woman, to remove them from any possible dating consideration.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.It would seem that the idea of romantic love is much older than Hollywood. Shakespeare's play about Romeo and Juliet as star crossed lovers who marry secretly in defiance of their families predates any Hollywood notion of romantic love, but is even fairly recent to the story of Helen who leaves her husband the king of Sparta to be with her lover Prince Paris of Troy sparking the subsequent Trojan War. It would appear to me that the dynamic and conflict between marriage as a means of improving the status of one's family (their duty) and as an expression of romantic infatuaton (their desire) is very old indeed.
I don't disagree with several of the points you make and can think of certain personal observations from my own experiences in line with the dynamics you describe between the sexes. I also recognize it as a gross over simplification since role reversals between the sexes is more than possible. My son who is currently going through a divorce is a personal example. He begged his wife of 16 years and mother of their 4 children to go to counseling but she decided she wanted to sleep with other men and refused (admittedly my own oversimplifcaton of their situation, but essentially the truth).
RussRAB
Level 8
June 12, 2019
1
Well, all that really cheered me up for today. Moving onto sex, which only happens with me after I've known a woman a while, does mean something to me. But I agree with you that it doesn't mean much to most people, including most of the women I am interested in from online dating or meet organically, even here in conservative Iowa. What to do?
TomMcGiverin
Level 8
June 11, 2019
2
If you are a kind, caring sort of man, then you will be in high demand. Unless you are only targeting "hot" women who look good in profiles.
@birdingnut You imply that you are rather cynical about men in general, and that you doubt that I am a kind, caring sort of man, to quote you. No, I am not in high demand, whether I should be or not. But, as Sticks says, it goes both ways birdingnut. How do you know that most women are not just targeting only "hot"men? Because it sure seems that way on Match in my area. But, because I like to be blunt and honest, I will answer your implied accusation with as specific an answer as possible, even tho the nature of it will offend some people on here. I rate my own looks as a 5-6. The women I message and reach out to on Match would probably be rated by most people as anywhere from 5-8, with my messaging about equal to women from the low to the high end of those numbers. I even had a dating coach look at my messaging on Match and part of that was her checking to see if I was trying too much to date out of my league when it came to looks. Her answer was that I was doing that some of the time, but not enough for her to see it as a problem. I bet that is true of most people in online dating, both male and female. Research studies have proven that everyone does that. Make of it what you will, but I don't feel I am hypocritical at all. More likely, I think you are the one with issues regarding the opposite sex.
You and sweetcharlotte can shove your cynical attitude towards me. Time to block you both after you read this.
@birdingnut women can't tell the difference between a respectful man and a "boring" guy these days. Theres a fine line.
@TomMcGiverin well stated and very true!
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