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I have a friend, who I bowl with. He often tries to convert me to Christianity. Today, he sent me a video about a bible quote narrated by Mike Huckabee. He told me to "take a good look at this, and consider what it means" in my life. When I told him I told him what I thought, he called me closed minded. I told him that if he's so concerned with people being open minded, he must at least consider the idea that HE is wrong. Otherwise he's just as closed minded as he says I am. He didn't respond, but instead proceeds, for some reason, to talk about how there are many atrocities committed in the world, "but none by Christians"...

I'm tired of being nice. But I bowl with him every week. I don't want a bad relationship with anyone, certainly not a team mate. I'll probably change leagues after this, but the season doesn't end until June. I also work at that bowling alley as the bowling league coordinator, so I will continue working with him, in some capacity, and I don't want to do anything to anger my corporate overlords.

I've tried to explain to him the issues I have with, not just his religion, but religion in general. And I've asked him to just not try to convert me. I'll respect his right to believe what he wants, if he respects my right not to.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

RundioII 5 Nov 15
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28 comments

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5

You should have pointed out that being closed minded would have been simply refusing to watch the video, or dismissing it as soon as you watched it without giving a reason. Instead, you provided your honest opinion. Other than that, you responded perfectly. He himself is closed minded and therefore a shameless hypocrite.

Agree. I would also say/ask if you value our friendship you will put this matter to rest. If your religion doesn’t allow room in your life for friends who have differing beliefs and it’s important for your own salvation to abide then we’ve reached an impasse.

5

I make rational arguments for rational people, to let them know they're not alone. As to people of faith, I have no objection to their faith, I have no interest in it either, I merely point out that "FAITH" (unlike science for example) is based upon BELIEF, not EVIDENCE, therefore to try to twist the evidence to try to prove their faith, ironically serves only to demonstrate a lack of confidence in that faith!

Excellent comment!! Any ideas why I'm unable to "like" it?

0

All he's done is to redefine the term Christian as good. So the huge numbers of Christians who have and still are doing evil are not true Christians (see the True Scotsman fallacy).

Most likely to avoid huge numbers of Buddhists, Jainists and others including witches (how many witches killed Christians v Christians killed witches and other Christians) he will also add that as well as never doing harm the True Christians (copyright) claim Jesus is their Lord and savior.

It's still the True Scotsman fallacy. Christianity is made of factual and logical fallacies.

0

I wonder if you were to avoid engaging in religious conversation, would he then drop it? I suspect that as long as you engage in any reasonable way, he sees an opening, and so keeps trying. So whenever he brings it up, just say "I don't want to talk about it" or shrug it off. Just shut down the convo from the start, even if it means an awkward silence then follows. If the silence bothers you, then be ready with a non-religious topic and change the topic right away.

3

Tell him that you will not discuss religion with anyone, and put him on notice. If he starts remind him directly of that. If he persists, tell him directly that he is being disrespectful of you and your wishes and that you expect better of him. I have had to say that to a friend of over 50 years who has become a religious zealot in his old age. It finally stopped the conversion attempts.

0

Is not a friend...he doesn't respect your way of thinking... I """remove myself """ from toxic people.

Not easy to do in the middle of a 32 week long league, when work for the league we both bowl in...

Also, I work with people with mental illness for a living. I consider talking with religious people to be practice. I just don't want to have to practice on bowling night.

3

I'm usually one for spirited debate, but I think your best bet might be to avoid engaging with him whenever he starts up his proselytizing engine. I'd just say something, with a friendly tone, like, "you're barking up the wrong tree," and refuse to talk about the specific points he's bringing up. It's clear he doesn't care for the discussion or have any interest in understanding your perspective, only the potential for conversion, so I'd recommend you steer the conversation away from anything that feeds his hope you'll change your mind and give him nothing to work with. I suspect he'll give up eventually, and you can keep your employer happy.

0

Tell him you've been advised not to discuss these matters anymore. Let it go at that. Hes just trying to control you. Hes brainwashed and you can't win this with a coversation with him. He'll drag others into it to save you. He'll bring it up with others for their opinion. Say please stop with this. I can't discuss this matter anymore.

1

Don't talk to him anymore, find any way you can to shut him down and let him know you are not interested in that conversation, but don't try to convince him he's an idiot. Get away from him, change leagues the moment you can.

5

He digs Mike Huckabee? Really?

That dude is so deluded I don't think he'll ever stop unless you lie to him.
Tell him your boss at the bowling alley overheard you two discussing religion, and if you continue to do it with patrons he'll have to fire you. 😉

3

He must be very thick,just look at the inquisition, crusades and the battles between the Catholics and Protestants. Then there was the new world and the Indians that were killed in the name of christ. Actually , you could go on& on about the Christians and the devastation they have caused.

1

Well, to begin with Huckabee is a nut !!!

0

It's the religious people that are close minded because they are brain washed into thinking this way. Ask him what purpose does religion serve, I can bet for every irrational answer he gives you, you can follow up with a more rational logical one.

7

No atrocities committed by Christians !!??

What's he smokin' ?

I'd tell him - with a smile - that I enjoy the bowling thing with him, but I'll not partake in any more religious discussion - at all.

2

I just got back from a bicycle ride with my friend, Joe (his real name), who is very conservative and goes to a Bible Church. He asked me today, "What would it take?" (By this I understood converting to being a political conservative, and probably, religiously as well.) I told him I don't know; "I'm an old fart set in my ways. I did not fall far from the trees (parents) that raised me and they were the most stubborn people I know." You won't win any "discussion" with this person, so don't try. Trying to explain your issues with religion won't get through. Insist on your right under the US Constitution to your pursuit of happiness which doesn't include being a Christian. This is how I communicate with Joe, "This is me. I see things differently." Religious are convinced that there is nothing better than being a Christian (I know. it's more like misery loves company, but you won't win that argument, either.), and they don't seem to be able to tolerate the differences in other people. They believe in a "one size fits all" religion. Yes, they are the closed minded. Let the corporate overlords know what you are up against. The devil makes me think of you telling your acquaintance that, due to his efforts you have decided to convert to Islam.

5

Wear a yarmulke one week and then the following week whip out a prayer rug and ask which way is east. Try to convert him to the religion of the week in the interest of being open minded. Go all in and shave the head when it is time for Buddhism.

Also, be sure to thank him for helping you start searching and finding Allah.

You've got style. I like that.

0

Just ask him to Stop! If he will not then walk away each time he tries to convert you. You can also ask him for evidence non-biblical for the existence of god or of jesus. Good luck.

1

Tell your manager and corporate overlords (well stated) about his harassment of you. You've done a fine job in your responses and his religious harassment is out of place and bounds. I would make it clear to the manager that if he isn't talked to and barred, should he continue, that you will be forced to personally address the issue. I would respond to any further harassment, by your team mate (he is not a friend), by falling to his feet and feign a retching attack. Do this every time he brings it up. Make it as real as possible so that it scares Hell into him.

And have it all in writing and signed. Document, document, document---- lest it be Rundio's ass out of a job and onto the street

0

You cannot reason with certain people. The Spanish inquisition, The crusades, are just two of the atrocities committed by Christians in the name of god.

History is full of Christians committing atrocities in the name of God. It's easy to find justifications. One lasting atrocity--slavery--was justified via the Bible.

0

I was brought up Catholic and went to Parochial school all through my elementary years and was even an altar boy (very lucky I wasn't molested-it's called Black Collar crime). I still remember some important lessons: Pride is a sin and wearing one's religion on one's sleeve is a sin of pride. Jesus supposedly said to go to a town and preach but if the town does not accept you knock the dust off of your sandals and go to the next town. One that few hear of is the importance of 'Agape' love (love of god must not be for reward/punishment but because of pure love - it is about altruism).
Even though I live on a mostly liberal island there are religious people here. I once received a 7th Day Advocate pamphlet at my door. I took the pamphlet attached a copy of the Freedom From Religion Foundation newsletter and took them to the meeting hall. I left a message thanking them for their information and am including some of mine. That was a couple of years ago and have not heard back from them.
One additional thing most don't know is that the bibles in hotels are put there by the Gideon's group. One can buy warning stickers from FFRF and even 'steal' (a God will forgive you!) the books and dispose/hide them.

0

Surely your friend knows that US dropped an atomic bomb on Japan, sorry 2 that didnt just kill signed up soldiers - and the guilt it caused made many of the flying crew eventually take their lives. Plus Hiltler was a Christian and i don't blame churchgoers today for his wrongdoings. Its difficult. I used to tell all my friends about new music that I'd heard and therefore was evangelic about songs. Tell him you respect his private faith and his right to hold his belief, but you have rights too.

3

Rather than ttelling your friend to respect your beliefs, you may want to consider asking him to respect YOU. (I do not respect some peoples' beliefs but try to respect them.)

I will try that. Thanks. 🙂

However, I have told him more than once that I consider his attempts insulting not only to my inelegance, by to myself as a person. His response is always, "I'm sorry bud, but I feel super strong about this." (paraphrasing)

0

Drop a reference to the crusades?

I instead dropped a reference to Catholics slaughtering the natives of Hispaniola (Modern day Haiti) in 1492 and the years to follow.

0

Stop bowling with him. You have asked him to stop and he won't. He has the right to his beliefs but so do you.

1

Suggestion: Stop bowling or go to a different alley.

You read the part about it's a 32 week long league, now 16 weeks in, right? Or the part about my being employed there?

Also, not sure you're a bowler, but typically bowlers don't stick to 1 center. We move around. I would see him at other centers.

You took it seriously. Sorry about that. Carry on, but if it begins to affect your average, I'd think about taking up golf.

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