I think ultimately I was weak, unassertive, and blinded by feelings, and she was selfish, a bad friend, and downright immoral.

Yeah, don't get married, and don't put up with any bull ever. People have their faults, but take it from a guy that is desperately trying to keep his life together for someone else's mistakes: marriage makes things obligatory. Once you get married, there isn't that same threat that you aren't going to put up with their bull and leave, and obligation will have you overlooking some things you shouldn't. And if they love you, marriage isn't going to be what solidifies that. It literally changes nothing except some paperwork and maybe social status, but it shouldn't do anything for your actual relationship, and if it does, it's probably a red flag.

And as someone experiencing this as a male, let me tell you that if things go south, in terms of relationships, you're probably going be way worse off than your female counterpart even if you did everything you were supposed to do and they messed it up because many women won't mess with a married guy, but most guys do not care. Just my advice.

#1: Schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder combined with unwillingness to receive standard-of-care treatment. Decision cemented by waking up one night with her hovering over me, trance-like, with a butcher knife. That sort of thing is clarifying.

#2: She died.

The wrong place, with the wrong person at the wrong time.

Never married but, I did love my children’s mother. I came close to marrying her, even though I’m not sold on contracts between monkeys...

I left her only because I’ll never subject myself to her dynamic, “you’re supposed to” list. I don’t want to be near her when she starts trying to “manage” me. She wants her way-often...

I spent approximately 19 years of my life in prison. I can’t stand being “managed.”

Because my spouse was a sociopath.

My ex was the female version of Cletus Kasady.

Which one?

My ex got pregnant with another guy.

Mostly because I changed and he didn't. He looked 20 years into the future and was totally happy with it. I looked 20 years into the future and was completely unhappy with it. However, we'd probably still be married if he hadn't asked me the wrong question at the wrong time. New Years Eve he asked if I was happy. I said no, I think I want a divorce. Six months later, I was a single mother.

Because she left before the wedding happened.

After 20 years we just grew apart, we tried to keep it together for a few morr years, it just didn't work out

I seem to be the woman that dishonest jerks can pick out of a crowd.

He was a racist and an unemployed nurse (LVN only) for the last 3 years of our marriage. Only reason we were together 9 years was because I knew I needed to work thru the anger before I filed or I’d be dead. Our son, who was 9 at the time, thinks so, too. He also decided not to talk to his father any more when he was 12.

Because I finally woke up.

I continually dismissed the fact the woman was mentally ill. When in her right mind she was so loveable.

I never wanted to be married in the first place. It just took me 20years to address it.

My first wife had sex with so many truck drivers that she could have gotten a teamster card. My second wife didn't like my son. Deal breakers.

I can tell you why I've never tied the knot

I was in a very strict cult that only allowed people in certain church groups to court and marry. With a severly restricted pool of eligible singles, I finally found a girl I had a good connection with. Unfortunately, I didn't think of her as my type, or necessarily a very attractive woman. But I felt like I didn't have any better options.

After 5 years together, things were unravelling, and I finally left the cult. We separated shortly after that, she wanted to remain a part of that group. So, multiple reasons, married for the wrong motivation, didn't have much in common in terms of interests/hobbies, and the religion/cult messed up both of us.

My first wife was georgeous, had a beautiful voice and played the classical guitar. She was also bi-polar and it got worse as time went on. After her father died the problem turned into adultry. Need I say more.

My second, long term relationship (she did not want to marry and had a good reason) was to a women who was alcoholic. It was manageable at first and then she went into detox and the next 5 years were wonderful. She relapsed and then things fell apart.

By this time I was starting to get the picture. Take my time and pay attention. It's the old fool me once adage.

I am totally aware that she will give you a different story. For example, I worry about money and sent her home to Africa 3 times out of the 12 years. She will claim we never had any money worries. It simply is not true.
I found that many people you know and work with will cut your throat behind your back. Since I am older, they did that all the time. Doubt was planted maybe coz it's just a game to some people.
The biggest thing I found is that people can grow apart and go in differnt directions over time. Some tell me it was the age difference. I disagree. Both her and I have memories of electricity coming to us for the first time. She lived with her parents then. I lived with my grandparents. The stories were much the same.
Putting my marriage failure squarely upon myself, I bit off more than I could chew. She was going to be the "forever love" that would be with me the rest of my life. Somewhere in my idiot brain I thought I could retire and she would be the breadwinner. Sorry. Things just do not work like that. Today I have a less than $200 mortgage. Hers is much more than that.
Who would have ever thought a simple plan like that could fail? Love is not only blind, it just has no sense at all.

We were two very ambitious individuals who were going through med school and nurse practitioner school. The stress of trying to study, earn and the day to day was too much for us. We are still good friends and occasional lovers but she has her priorities and I have my own and they just don't coincide at the moment.

A damned good question that I have no real answer for, only guesses and it was probably some amount of all of them. My exwife was not one to solve problems and she was impetuous. After her boyfriend mudered her I was the temp executor of her estate (her parents asked me to). I went through some of her stuff for the police and my own questions, but never for a reason.

There were many reasons. Let's start with the letter, A. Adultery, Alcoholism, Abuse (mental, emotional, physical and financial). There have to be some strongly compelling reasons for a conservative female family court judge to award custody of a three-year-old to the father. I presented several. That was a long time ago. My son just turned fifteen, this week.

Which one?